How do I get fit with no gym or equipment?

Body weight exercises are probably your best bet. The counter push ups should build strength if effort is invovled, you can also do knee push ups. Squats with no weight. Negatives for pull-ups and dips. Ect,

You can build your own equipment for a few $. Such as Scoobys TRX strap for $5, A set of milk gallons filled with water / sand used like dumbbells can build muscle. There are lots of options really. Try googling "home made gym", see what you come up with.

Here is a list of sports ... pick one, pick several. Try out various things and see what you like.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sports

oh man, I've so been there. The thing I learned for myself, that might apply to you, too, is that there's no way to cheat your way to fitness. If I want to look and feel like a person who gets plenty of exercise, I'm gonna have to actually do the exercise. If I want to look and feel like a person who does yoga every day, guess what? it's yoga every day.

you're wondering how to transition from fat guy who's not into exercise to fit guy who cheerfully gets plenty? there have been some good suggestions already in this thread. Maybe try adding a tiny bit of jogging to your walks? kinda sneak up on that heart rate? Maybe get a trial gym membership to see if the challenge of lifting weight feels good to you?

I'm afraid pretty much anything's going to kind of suck at first, though. You might have to hang in there and work through that feeling of boredom and discomfort. Once you get the hang of it, you'll probably find it feels good to get your blood flowing, but that might not happen right away.

ETA: the thing I found to work out without a gym or (much) equipment hasn't been mentioned yet. I use fitnessblender.com workout videos. you, op, might find them boring and uncomfortable, but as an answer to the titular question, there are plenty of low impact and beginner level options that require no equipment.

You Are Your Own Gym is a great bodyweight program with lots of progression. I did the program for 2 months and found it quite good.

You wrap your head around the idea that fitness / exercise is boring but necessary so you do it anyway. Even 1/2 hour. Watch TV or listen to music while you do it. Sneak in some movement too. Do squats when you load the dishwasher, the washing machine & the dryer. I do leg lifts while I brush my teeth (It helps to assure that I brush for 2 minutes, which is also an important health factor)

Help with the housework; it burns calories. Doing house work is even more of a chore / torture then exercise to me but it gets done because it has to.

Add some weight to your walk. Throw some canned goods into a back pack & walk wearing that.

Check out Athlean-X on YouTube or a Google search. There are loads of free and tremendously helpful videos to follow as well as a program if you'd like. The free videos are well worth it. They help you understand how your body works and how to build muscle. Good luck.

Get a physically active hobby. Like walking? Go hiking at local parks. Take a camera and get into nature photography.

Take up yoga, martial arts, dancing, swimming, kayaking, cycling, volunteer to walk dogs at the shelter.

I don't go to a gym or use exercise equipment. Having a physical job helps but also I workout at a martial arts dojo three times a week, ride horses and also trim their hooves. All of this provides a ton of exercise and none of it is boring.

Increase your walking as you are able--longer walks more often. 2 years ago I started with 1 mile a few times per week. Now I walk 4-5 miles every day, broken into a few separate walks. You can try videos such as leslie Sansone Walk at Home.
You need strength training to help retain muscle & get the body you say you want. I worked with a personal trainer since day 1, but that's not for everyone. You could get a resistance band for less than $20 and go from there. Bodyweight exercises might be too hard & discouraging & /or boring for you at this point.
Take a look in Success Stories for my "2 year transformation" story. It was on the first page this morning.
Keep in mind that not everything you do in this process will feel like fun. We do what we have to do to get the results we want. It's no fun being severely overweight and out of shape. I know, been there, done that.

Have you tried HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training)? I have a DVD box set of Tapout XT. There's also Insanity. Equipment is minimal with Tapout. Included in the box are resistance bands , a small towel, a recipe booklet, and an exrecipe programme. If you stick at for 90 days and follow the nutrition, you will have the body of a fighter. I'm not quite there yet for various reasons. I also do a lot of cycling. I have lost weight. People keep telling me I look thinner. I've saved myself a fortune without going to the gym.

Swimming is a good all-over body toning and aerobic exercise if you have a pool or a YMCA nearby. The water helps take some of the pressure off your joints while you exercise also. I personally find most types of aerobic and weight training exercises intensely boring also. My personal choice is high-intensity karate, kick-boxing or MMA, which might appeal to a guy too. If you like dancing, take some classes and learn some new moves to wow the ladies when you get all buff.