Losing weight and marriage

FatMomma89
FatMomma89 Posts: 81 Member
in Chit-Chat
Has anyone else noticed that your spouse hates that you are losing weight? It seems like our marriage is going downhill since I started losing weight.
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Replies

  • Unknown
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  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Nah. She likes seeing my V more than the beer gut. For surely.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    Nope. I'm pretty sure losing weight isn't the reason my marriage is going downhill.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    It's just better if we're both fit.

    No Worries.
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
    If your spouse is an *kitten* that can happen. My ex husband refused to say anything about my weight loss. He acted like I looked no different after I lost almost 25lbs and everyone else said I looked great.
    It would be one thing if he thought I looked fine the way I was before but he talked a lot of smack about my body after having kids. I was doing it to make him happy and it just got ignored.
    We ain't married anymore lol.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Mine doesn't mind other way as long as I'm happy.
  • Unknown
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  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    She really likes the changes that happened to my body. First, losing weight, then building muscle. She doesn't always love the time it takes, we could be spending it together instead, etc, but she's thrilled with the results.
  • rebel_26
    rebel_26 Posts: 1,826 Member
    mine calls me fatty either way ...
  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
    Jealousy and insecurity can be an explosive mix. But as someone else alluded to, theres probably something else going on.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    My wife is supportive in any situation.
  • jhmomofmany
    jhmomofmany Posts: 571 Member
    I can't imagine that just one partner losing weight would jeopardize an otherwise healthy marriage.
  • jennylee274
    jennylee274 Posts: 19 Member
    I noticed it does change how they act. My husband was never critical of my size even when I was at my heaviest and abjectly miserable. But when I started losing weight I noticed he brought home lots of sweets candies and cookies. Often he would make himself a snack and bring me one such as a bowl of ice cream without any indication that I wanted one . Then if I refused it he would pout. I think they do fear that you are changing to find someone else.
  • RainaProske
    RainaProske Posts: 636 Member
    My husband had once asked mev to lose weight for him. I couldn't do it. To be successful, I really had to lose it for me
  • nukephysics
    nukephysics Posts: 406 Member
    cross2bear wrote: »
    Jealousy and insecurity can be an explosive mix. But as someone else alluded to, theres probably something else going on.

    This. Also, the fear that you may leave him for someone more attractive or sexy. What I have found that helps is your attitude, how much better you feel, and your self confidence. Take those attributes and use them as a positive spin on your relationship. Let him know that you want him to be proud of you when you go out. Finally, you can show/tell him that how your self confidence has helped your sex drive and that it is good for him. Ensure that you are reaffirming the reason why you married him, and that no matter what either one of you looks like you will still love him.
  • grannynot
    grannynot Posts: 146 Member
    Surely there's an awareness that looking "better" (thinner, more fit, etc) is going to attract attention from the opposite sex; and that's possibly threatening?? Or there's resentment of the time spent getting fit (assuming the spouse/SO is not participating)??
  • fishgutzy
    fishgutzy Posts: 2,807 Member
    No change in my wife at all. She likes that I am more fit and healthy. After all, when we met I only weighed 165#, roller bladed and cycled a lot and she was a part time model, 5'10" 125 to 130#. Her agency told clients she was 10 years younger than she was and the clients never doubted it.
    That was about 27 years ago. At one point I weighed more than we both did combined when we met.
  • chrisg676
    chrisg676 Posts: 39 Member
    My wife started making remarks about the size of my belly about 3 years ago. I was 14 stone. My son suggested Insanity DVDs. I ended up buying Tapout XT DVDs and a road bike. I'm now hovering just over 12 stone. She no longer makes remarks about my belly because I don't have one anymore. Instead, I'm now "obsessed with exercising". I like to call it dedicated. And even then I can't exercise as often as I'd like. Shift work gets in the way. I'm not going back to sitting on my fat *kitten* doing nothing again. If she would work out as well. She's Type 1 diabetic. It would help.
  • jaxass
    jaxass Posts: 2,128 Member
    Not married, but I can't imagine. Some of these remarks just gives me more reason to never get married again.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    I think she likey.
  • svrover
    svrover Posts: 75 Member
    I lost my wife

    = \
  • StillMrsUptonOgood
    StillMrsUptonOgood Posts: 136 Member
    Even though my husband has said some really dumb *kitten* over the years, he's been really supportive of my journey. And now he is trying to quit smoking and is being more attentive :)
  • selina884
    selina884 Posts: 826 Member
    Can't relate. My partner is supportive and loving.
  • IslaTiempo
    IslaTiempo Posts: 530 Member
    Not really. At the end of the day I do it for myself. The only one that ends up changing is always me and my attitude at times.

    Best advice, Ask your partner and see why is he acting the way he is acting and how could it change... Maybe it's something you are doing.. You never know!
  • rps67
    rps67 Posts: 163 Member
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    Nope. I'm pretty sure losing weight isn't the reason my marriage is going downhill.

    We need a club.

    My spouse invariably will buy cookies/candies, etc. if I say I want to lose any weight/eat better/cut out sugar (my major weakness). I don't think he realizes he does it, either.
  • brianbgboy
    brianbgboy Posts: 393 Member
    I lost my wife! see this thread!
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10444045/did-you-lose-your-lover-spouse-s-o-after-you-loss-weight#latest
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    My husband whines about my lack of a belly - he always loved the big round pregnancy belly and it never bothered him that I kept a poochy belly after the kids...truly, I think he just is attracted to that fertility goddess type look...but he doesn't try to sabotage me, he knows my body is mine to control, and the sex is still the same frequency, so clearly he still finds me attractive enough.
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    grannynot wrote: »
    Or there's resentment of the time spent getting fit (assuming the spouse/SO is not participating)??

    Beth doesn't love the hour I spend with the weights every other day. But she loves the results.
  • tzjkeharding
    tzjkeharding Posts: 4 Member
    Since I have lost loads of weight and got mor independent my husband has become very jealous even worse when I passed my driving test. I am one I dependant lady and it's staying that way we don't talk much now and he has never been in the car with me driving x
  • Sirius66TheBeat
    Sirius66TheBeat Posts: 72 Member
    edited September 2016
    I have some friends whose wives give them crap for losing weight...little jabs and comment that are negative and completely unnecessary. My one friend's wife will accuse him of losing weight for other women. Pathetic and insecure. The other...his wife complains that there's nothing good to eat anymore because he's trying to eat better. And she's too lazy to cook herself so the husband ends up cooking her fatty foods and eventually gives in and fails at losing weight...but then gets called fat f**k in arguments. But from the stories I've heard from my buds..losing the weight is hardly the issue in their marriage..its only an addition to the baloney.

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