How do I stop??? (warning me feeling sorry for myself)
stef_e_b
Posts: 593
I know the answer is to just stop binge eating but its like a compulsion. Today a boy looked at me like he was interested so of course I went straight to a fast food place, then the candy ile in walmart, then when I got home my own pantry. Sometimes I think I'm meant to be bolimic except that I don't have a gag reflex. (I've never thrown up in my life)
Anytime I start to look good and boys start noticing me again I panic and eat like crazy. Maybe I'm just making excuses though. throughout my life I have been a victim of molestation. So in my mind I tell myself that the common denominator is me. That this just is going to keep happening and the only way to protect myself is to make myself undesirable and of course I never go anywhere alone.
lol I think I need a shrink. Thanks for reading.
Anytime I start to look good and boys start noticing me again I panic and eat like crazy. Maybe I'm just making excuses though. throughout my life I have been a victim of molestation. So in my mind I tell myself that the common denominator is me. That this just is going to keep happening and the only way to protect myself is to make myself undesirable and of course I never go anywhere alone.
lol I think I need a shrink. Thanks for reading.
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Replies
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I know the answer is to just stop binge eating but its like a compulsion. Today a boy looked at me like he was interested so of course I went straight to a fast food place, then the candy ile in walmart, then when I got home my own pantry. Sometimes I think I'm meant to be bolimic except that I don't have a gag reflex. (I've never thrown up in my life)
Anytime I start to look good and boys start noticing me again I panic and eat like crazy. Maybe I'm just making excuses though. throughout my life I have been a victim of molestation. So in my mind I tell myself that the common denominator is me. That this just is going to keep happening and the only way to protect myself is to make myself undesirable and of course I never go anywhere alone.
lol I think I need a shrink. Thanks for reading.0 -
Thats a complicated situation and you are definitely not the only person dealing with something like that.
Professional help would be a good step to dealing with the binging, especially since you know it is a reaction to your past. It can help.
I feel like we have to deal with the emotions first (I can be a binger, too) and then deal with the food after. I got help for my issues and no longer binge like I used to. Sure, I still struggle a lot, but it is a big difference.
Feel free to send a message if you need support!
It was brave of you to share your story.
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
i just wanted to give you a hug0
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Hi Sugar. You are already taking steps to heal. Just being able to talk about your molestation, and now your binging, is a step towards becoming an aware being who is able to look after herself. I am so glad for you that you do not have a gag reflex. I know that both being molested and binging have "out of control" feelings attached. Like, you want it to stop yet it doesn't. I found help through different avenues. The best for me was martial arts because I got to heal on many levels. I became able to protect myself fully in a physical sense, I was able to meditate and be spiritual because I picked a form that was very traditional, and I learned to live in the now because in martial arts, you have to pay attention. Nothing else can come in your mind. Learning to stay in the "now" has helped me not play out the future of what could happen. I just live this moment.
I know that counseling has helped me, too. It's a one day at a time thing.
You are reclaiming your power with each pound you lose. Find other ways to empower yourself like I did. I have other girlfriends who have had similar life circumstances and they have joined me in martial arts. They, too, are healing bigtime!
You didn't cause that past stuff to happen even if you were the common denominator. I can't convince you of that. Only you can gather the strength to find ways that will help you heal. One day soon, you won't be blaming yourself anymore! I can't wait to hear about that day!
Keep up the great work and keep writing, searching and loving!0 -
My trick? Pretend your a boy... I did for two years while I worked on my weight... because I wanted to feel good and because of health problems.
It is definitely a lot easier to make urself happy when ppl aren't all over you. Yeah... you will need to get help... if you ever want to have a relationship. In the meantime tho.. being an ice queen with an air of "leave me the p*ss alone"... and not dressing to impress will keep guys at a distance.
I have OED and body image dysfunction disorder... it gets confusing sometimes.0 -
I know the answer is to just stop binge eating but its like a compulsion. Today a boy looked at me like he was interested so of course I went straight to a fast food place, then the candy ile in walmart, then when I got home my own pantry. Sometimes I think I'm meant to be bolimic except that I don't have a gag reflex. (I've never thrown up in my life)
Anytime I start to look good and boys start noticing me again I panic and eat like crazy. Maybe I'm just making excuses though. throughout my life I have been a victim of molestation. So in my mind I tell myself that the common denominator is me. That this just is going to keep happening and the only way to protect myself is to make myself undesirable and of course I never go anywhere alone.
lol I think I need a shrink. Thanks for reading.
I see a great therapist and we work well together!
FC0
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