how do you love yourself?

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I'm currently battling with depression and anxiety and im having a hard time trying to stay postitive and carry on in life. I'm so greatful to have the amazing family that I do, but I know I need to do this on my own. It's just so hard.

How do you love yourself? What do you do when you're upset ? What do you do to see the light in every day? Where do you go to keep sane? What kind of music do you listen to?What distrcats you the most? How do you love yourself ?

Lonely broken hearted girl.

Replies

  • robertw486
    robertw486 Posts: 2,388 Member
    edited September 2016
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    You've done the first thing you need to do, which is identify something you want to change and look for ways to change it. Neither anxiety or depression are something that most people can't improve with effort, but sometimes the efforts needed are more individual than a "one size fits all" type of thing.

    A long standing thread with a lot of mutual respect, idea sharing, and possibly information useful to the OP or others.....

    community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10058170/depression-and-weight-loss/p1


    Only you can gauge your desire for the change and your current moods, but never be ashamed to reach out for help through family, local resources, or any means you have. Find and keep track of wellness tools, and use them as appropriate.

    As far as what makes you want to carry on in life, also individual but usually easy to find if you look. After personally going through a period of severe anxiety induced by stress and PTSD, I realized how many others are living in situations as bad or worse for much longer periods of time. For me, it was uplifting to know that my experience might help others through giving them guidance or helping them through rough times.

    There is always light, sometimes you just have to look for it a little harder.


    And there is one point I want to strongly disagree with from the original post. You absolutely DO NOT need to do this on your own. The support of others can help greatly with your moods, outlook on thing, as well as be a great source of additional information sharing.
  • Whitezombiegirl
    Whitezombiegirl Posts: 1,042 Member
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    Hi Hun, sorry you are going through this.

    Personally its anxiety which is the main thing for me, with some depression. I've had general anxiety, school bullying, study and career stress, relationship break-ups, friend-ship break-ups and stress, colleague issues and bullying bosses and bereavement to deal with- but when I look up- so have most other people- and if they can continue to breathe, then so can I. Its not impossible to me.

    1. My husband has helped me embrace who I am- he never judges me or tries to change ,me- he is an amazing person.
    2. I cry, rant or isolate myself. I use lots of lavender- pillow sprays, vaporiser, bath foam, pulse balm etc.
    3. I just remind myself to put one foot in-front of the other and concentrate on that- I'll get to where I'm going and put it all behind me if I keep doing that.
    4. I walk in the woods near my home, I listen to the breeze and watch the wildlife- pretend I'm elsewhere.
    5. I listen to either calming mood music like Enigma or VAST or angry upbeat stuff like White zombie, Machine head, Rammstein.
    6. I watch favourite films, or dance. Going to rock clubs and dancing my heart out helps. Swimming till or running exhaustion clears my mind.
    7. I'm not sure I do- I accept myself though. I know I can only grow through challenge and that it will be painful sometimes. I have to accept the pain and fear and breathe through it.
  • Michael190lbs
    Michael190lbs Posts: 1,510 Member
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    Play with kids, god, walk with a friend, walk dogs, working out is a great source of release for me read then sleep.
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,388 Member
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    Loving myself too much is usually the problem. What makes me depressed is when I've gone the whole weekend doing things just for myself (and not even big things but just totally self centered things) and feeling like I ignored my son/husband. I need to work on not being so selfish but it is hard.
  • jilovelace
    jilovelace Posts: 13 Member
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    Hi. I have been on a mission lately to discover what self care and loving oneself really means. I give all of my time and strength to my family and my job but I need to break that pattern for my own mental health.
    It sounds like we have a few things in common. Maybe we can help each other a long this journey. Please add me if you would like to be friends.
  • S2tupidAss
    S2tupidAss Posts: 25 Member
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    It's always good to know that you are never alone in such battles. Depression and anxiety are common problems in our societies. I've struggled to do anything when depressed. I still struggle from time to time and happen to dwell in old bad habits because of this, however the first time I realized the issue I started reading my "Change Your Life" with CBT by Corrinne Sweet. It's a lovely book about cognitive behavioral therapy, I then learnt about the Pacifica app that integrates the tools to change poor or perhaps negative thinking patterns that make us anxious and depressed. However, I have not completely recovered. Somehow, it gives me a clear picture of the problem and how to tackle for a healthier life.
  • VelociraptorTea
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    It seems so...hokey...but affirmations. I started with that. Looking in the mirror and choosing to tell myself the reasons I loved myself before I picked at all the things I didn't.
    Then checklists to literally do things to take care of myself-the simplest things. I labelled it "Love yourself" and it included things I would deny myself when feeling less than loving toward myself.
    And reaching out. This is a good first step. Finding people to connect with who understand what you feel really helps.
  • Shadowmf023
    Shadowmf023 Posts: 812 Member
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    I don't. I have extremely low self esteem and feel very uncomfortable around people. I feel like everytime someone looks at me they are judging me.

    But I turned that into a positive. That's the reason I started going to the gym, and wanting to work on my body. Basically in my mind : "You don't like it? Work on it."

    Sorry you are going through this, OP...it's really hard, I know.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    Hello lovely - I am so sorry to hear you're struggling. I hope you find the support you need here to put that smile back on your face. Life can be hard sometimes, especially when weight loss and self esteem is involved. But we've got your back through it all.

    I have gained 12 pounds after stopping calorie counting due to an Eating Disorder. I'm a lot heavier now than I am comfortable with but it's important to keep an eye on the bigger picture in life. There is so much more to this life (and to me) that what my scale tells me. I try to keep that in mind when I'm having a low self esteem moment. People don't love me for my shell, they love me for my soul. No one will be at my funeral saying "I loved her because she was thin". I try to tell myself this when it all gets a bit much.

    A good distraction for me is reading. I like to sit and read for hours on end. When I'm done with reading, I'll do a dance work-out or i'll catch up on Orange Is The New Black on Netflix. Failing that, I'll speak to my mum on the phone or snuggle up to my boyfriend. Distractions are all around you but when you are focusing on the depression and the anxiety it is hard to see past it - but try, try, try and don't stop.
  • alexpn
    alexpn Posts: 59 Member
    edited September 2016
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    I'm currently battling with depression and anxiety and im having a hard time trying to stay postitive and carry on in life. I'm so greatful to have the amazing family that I do, but I know I need to do this on my own. It's just so hard.

    How do you love yourself? What do you do when you're upset ? What do you do to see the light in every day? Where do you go to keep sane? What kind of music do you listen to?What distrcats you the most? How do you love yourself ?

    Lonely broken hearted girl.

    Hi there. The first thing to really say to you - I think - is you're not alone, and you don't need to feel as though you're alone. I'm sure most people on here, especially those with previous weight issues have struggled with anxiety and depression to a point, they go hand in hand.

    For me personally, I find a mantra very useful - a good friend who knows Cognitive Behaviour Therapy suggested writing a basic mantra of positivity many months ago when I was suffering, and sticking it up on a wall, and repeating it every day first thing in the morning, and last thing at night - 3 times.

    I have to say, I was sceptical, but it definitely did something for me! Here I am 6 months later, lighter, healthier, fitter and happer. Every little bit of positivity you can inject into your day, no matter how small will help you.

    This is mine:

    diau1xzgyvso.jpg
  • cbihatt
    cbihatt Posts: 319 Member
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    I am not clinically depressed, so I don't know how helpful this will be to you, but I find that I feel best when I get out of my own head. When I stop focusing on myself so much and put more effort into doing things for/with other people, that's when I start to feel more positive about life. It's interesting, because I certainly don't consider myself to be an outgoing, people-loving person.

    Start small, by doing something nice for someone in your family. I do one small thing every day, and it has helped me tremendously to get back into the right headspace.
  • ashcky
    ashcky Posts: 393 Member
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    It seems so...hokey...but affirmations. I started with that. Looking in the mirror and choosing to tell myself the reasons I loved myself before I picked at all the things I didn't.
    Then checklists to literally do things to take care of myself-the simplest things. I labelled it "Love yourself" and it included things I would deny myself when feeling less than loving toward myself.
    And reaching out. This is a good first step. Finding people to connect with who understand what you feel really helps.

    This right here. When I was in a rough place after splitting from my kids' father I put up square bits of paper all over my mirror with affirmations on them. You have to keep telling yourself positive things to create a positive energy.
  • alexpn
    alexpn Posts: 59 Member
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    This is all true, many of our actions and thought patterns are learned and habitual, whether positive or negative. The more you make yourself do something positive, the more likely it becomes the norm for you and habitual. Takes time, but it definitely works.
  • WanderingRivers
    WanderingRivers Posts: 612 Member
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    I don't have much in the way of advice only empathy. I too deal with depression and the self loathing that comes with it as well as a few other dx.