Feeling depressed & unmotivated

shanahz
shanahz Posts: 261 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have successfully lost weight a couple of times now. The last time was with MFP and I did well. I gained back all of the weight I originally lost and then some. I keep trying to get started and can't seem to last more than a week. I have gained so much weight that I have new stretch marks forming and recently someone on an elevator asked me when my baby was due. I feel so down about my weight and I know what I need to do to lose it, I just can't seem to get my self to a place where I stick with the changes. I feel so down about this right now. Thanks for listening to me vent. I just don't know why I am having such a hard time this go around.

Replies

  • tiggerlove
    tiggerlove Posts: 225 Member
    we all go thru the time of not feeling motivated and depressed. U have to find something u like to do and just do. they have home workouts..youtube etc. U got this..don't let it get u.
  • kanaada
    kanaada Posts: 57 Member
    Same story as u but I'm going to start to lose the regained wright again! It's only us that is obstructing our way to success! Do not feel depressed it only means better days are coming
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Is your method of weight loss too drastic?

    A lot of people seem to think you need to starve yourself, run marathons, and subsist only on kale to lose weight, then they wonder why they crash and burn.

    If you set your weekly weight loss goal to 1 lb or less, then stick to your calorie limit, and eat back 50-75% of your exercise calories, you will lose weight.

    Read the "Helpful Posts" in the General Weight Loss community forum. Best wishes.
  • Chilli7777
    Chilli7777 Posts: 112 Member
    Ive developed little coping mechanisms. In the past when I have caved, I always felt guilty and angry at myself. I'm not getting urges to eat rubbish food this time around, but the other day my son asked me to warm up his donut and when I did I smelled it and instantly reminded myself of those old feelings. Its never worth it. I don't know why this time is different for me but I am guessing it is because I'm getting the right amount of fuel. This is the first time I have ever counted calories and I am able to look back over the past and see exactly where I went wrong. I wasn't eating enough! No wonder I always fell off the wagon.
    For me its about optimal health. I am 41 now (and my husband is 29!). I don't want to be this old, decrepit unfit wife who dies prematurely. I love this feeling of vitality and feeling good on the inside and it is motivating me to keep going. Hang in there and try to figure out why you do what you do. You are so capable of achieving good health :smile:
  • medic2038
    medic2038 Posts: 434 Member
    I've found setting negative goals "I don't want to be fat anymore" almost certainly lead to failure. Everything is in how you frame the problem (and depression usually has us in that negative mind set).

    So if possible try to reframe things positively like "I want to be happy and healthy", and use that as your basis. There's only one person that's in charge of you, and that's YOU.
  • UnicornAmandaPanda
    UnicornAmandaPanda Posts: 161 Member
    I am going through the same exact thing... I have lost 60 lbs but I am in such a rut that I cannot stay on track long enough to lose my last 20
  • cbihatt
    cbihatt Posts: 319 Member
    I've been there a few times. Honestly, I feel like motivation comes after you have felt success. That's why it seems so hard to get started. The only thing that has worked for me is to just make myself get through a day or two, no matter how difficult it seems. The small feeling of success that comes from those first two days is enough to keep me going. One good choice leads to another and it snowballs until I feel like I am back in control.
  • indiecupcake89
    indiecupcake89 Posts: 26 Member
    I lost 180 lbs naturally gained back 25lbs and am struggling to lose the 13lbs I need to feel confident again. Junk food makes me happy and depressed at the same time. Motivation is key in my case and I don't have it at this point. Maybe try aiming for a very slow weightloss, add moderate exercise like walking, and allow one treat everyday that fits into calorie goals. If you are depressed maybe start seeing a therapist if you can. I would also recommend taking vitamins that give you energy like b complex, omega, iron, and vitamin D. Let's find our motivation together:)
  • barryplumber
    barryplumber Posts: 401 Member
    Stop thinking of this as a diet, it's a lifestyle you need to be committed to healthy eating for the rest of your life. I'm not saying you can never eat sweets again but learn your limits and stick to it.
  • Chilli7777
    Chilli7777 Posts: 112 Member
    Ive got the depressiob without the urge to eat which is fortunate but still a horrible way to feel. Its just come on suddenly and I dont know why.
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    Is your method of weight loss too drastic?

    A lot of people seem to think you need to starve yourself, run marathons, and subsist only on kale to lose weight, then they wonder why they crash and burn.

    If you set your weekly weight loss goal to 1 lb or less, then stick to your calorie limit, and eat back 50-75% of your exercise calories, you will lose weight.

    Read the "Helpful Posts" in the General Weight Loss community forum. Best wishes.

    This. Try changing one little thing at a time, get used to that, then change something else.

    I put off trying to lose weight for years because I thought I'd have to be starving and miserable, and I just wasn't willing to put myself through that if I didn't have some major medical reason for it! Once I found out that I could still eat the things I enjoy as long as I control my portion sizes and count ALL my calories, it was such a freeing feeling! I wish I'd known about this a long time ago, but better late than never. :)

    If you're having trouble "sticking with the changes", then maybe you're trying to do too much at once. You could start by committing to just logging everything you eat normally for a couple of weeks, to see where you're at, and then start making a few small changes to cut down the calories gradually. You don't have to suddenly start having green smoothies, eating organic this or free-range that, running ten miles a day or following any particular type of "diet" if you don't want to. Just eating less and being honest with yourself about exactly what and how much you're eating will be really helpful to you, and once you start seeing some results you'll have more motivation to continue.

    Take progress photos and regular measurements too, and take note of how your clothes fit, so that you have other measures of success on weeks when the scale doesn't move. (Also don't expect to lose a set amount every week, most people go up and down a bit but if the trend is downwards over time then you're doing fine!)

    Good luck! :)
  • _dixiana_
    _dixiana_ Posts: 3,262 Member
    For me it was all mental. I felt so defeated I didn't even think it was possible to lose what I'd gained. But then I just decided one day that I was tired of being miserable and complaining about it and jumped back on MFP to log my calories. I added in an exercise program I could easily stick to and a few months in I was down 15lbs.
    You can do this. A lot of it is mental. Start thinking positive. Write down your goals and what you want and what you need to do to get there and take it one step at a time!
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
    Okay - you've gained weight. It's disappointing, I get it. I remember when I learnt I had gained around 28lbs - I was devastated. But there comes a time where you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, remind yourself that your life isn't ending and get on with things. If you want to lose the weight you've gained, you need to make a list of how you can go about this healthily and how you can keep it off this time. It isn't realistic to deprive yourself of treats because it's going to end up in a huge 'post diet binge' - it's also very wise to pinpoint exactly why you gained the weight lost so you can try and avoid potential triggers in the future. Remember though, as humans we aren't programmed to stay at one weight for the rest of our lives. Sometimes 'life' simply *happens* and that's okay.

    You can do this, I promise :)
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    Don't wait around for motivation. Just do it!
  • emmadelavega
    emmadelavega Posts: 13 Member
    Feel free to add me!!!!!!
  • angelwowings23
    angelwowings23 Posts: 128 Member
    First of all, the past is the past. No sense in beating yourself up over gaining weight back. All you can do is move forward and start to change your future. You sound like you are really ready to start making some positive changes, but change doesn't just take place because we want it. We need to work for it. And it's not easy work. That's why so many people end up in dieting cycles. It's not easy to do and it's not easy to stick to. However, if your goals are important to you...THAT'S when you'll be able to find your "why" and stick to your plans. If you want to add me, I'd be happy to help you however I can along your journey. :)

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