So this happened
LaurenRitter205
Posts: 24 Member
I've lost 48 lbs my highest weight was 278. Since August I've been slacking really bad on eating right and being active. I'm starting to feel the difference in myself physically and emotionally and I've been beating myself up over it while at the same time not being able to stop eating! Anyways, this morning my 6 year old step son said "you're fat" then quickly said "IM just kidding with you". I know he meant it though and it hurt my feelings and made me feel bad even though I know I've done this to myself it's just been so hard to have self control lately. I guess that was what I needed to hear to get my *kitten* back in gear today so I'm trying this again.
What are things that have gotten you back on track?
What are things that have gotten you back on track?
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Replies
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Like Nike... Just do it. When you want something bad enough, you just do it.13
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yes, just do it. Or take one thing that you can improve this week and do that. Maybe have a goal of 5 veggie servings everyday, or no fast food. Something doable but noticeable for the first week. Sooner or later you have to bite the bullet and do what you know you have to do1
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Yes, I just have to think I've done it before and come such a long way I don't want to get back to where I was before. It was definitely not what I wanted to hear but it sure was a wake up call.2
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I've been slipping really bad too, ecspecially with the fact that I've been hitting my water intake and eating healthy and working out everyday and haven't lost a pound. People to help motivate you is really what keeps you going, feel free to add me if you would like
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aleshapijan177 wrote: »I've been slipping really bad too, ecspecially with the fact that I've been hitting my water intake and eating healthy and working out everyday and haven't lost a pound. People to help motivate you is really what keeps you going, feel free to add me if you would like
Because you mention slipping, eating healthy, and haven't lose a pound, I'm wondering if your calorie deficit is too aggressive, which is leading to binges. How much weight do you have to lose to reach goal and what is your weekly weight loss set to?1 -
Hi Op - I'm sorry you had such a crummy start to your day. It's horrible to hear things like that, a joke or otherwise.
I'm a professional expert in how to manage long term and sustainable change (I have a very successful corporate business in this area) and what @mccraee suggests is often the best way to start. (I've also lost -117lbs and kept it off for over five years... So I've been doing this awhile!!)
You need to determine where you're going with your journey - what does the end state look like? Is it a number on the scale? A size of clothing? A personal look?
Once you have that determined, then you need to develop your plan of attack and your milestones to celebrate. Ie: -5lbs and a rock solid weekend without gaining weight back = a non-food reward/recognition for yourself etc.
Then develop your plan on how you're going to get there and how long you're willing to take to get to your milestones. Depending on your timelines, this could be simply logging breakfast & water each day and making a commitment to be mindful with your food for week one.
Week two could be adding exercise in, repeating week one activities.
Week three could be all of week one, two and tracking lunch. And so on and so forth.
My guess is that a Big Bang change won't be successful and you'll feel overwhelmed and restricted. Don't take that route!! This is your story and your journey! Take it at your pace and find the sweet spot. The key is adding one new thing each week that you can sustain long term.
Feel free to add me to your friends list and crawl through my diaries. I'm a consistent and very dedicated MFP user and also a no BS kind of lady.. I'm always happy and willing to lend support and motivation to those who get after their goals and can handle my forward feedback!
Whatever you choose to do, good luck on your journey! x13 -
Looking at pics of my old severely obese self helps keep me on track!3
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Kids, don't you just love 'em?
My 12yo keeps reminding me of my lack of hair, but there's not a lot i can do about that
Get yourself where you want to be. Think of how good you felt and get it back, you can do it 3 -
It's good to find new motivation, I know I need to as well, but for the record, it's entirely ok for you to let him know that he hurt your feelings. It's a very important lesson for him to learn...we as mothers tend to suck everything up and hold it in but we really shouldn't. If he said it to someone else you'd be mortified and have a talk with him, it shouldn't be any different because you're his mother. We should be learning to be kinder to those we love not harsher.
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I am actually struggling with that right now - slipping a lot on diet and exercise and seeing the weight creep back on! I have been logging my food today and I brought my gym bag to work with me. My heart isn't really in it - Im am a little burned out - but I have to do it anyway!
Just get started. You'll thank yourself later.1 -
Personally, I would have a conversation with him about how words can hurt and how you know he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but that he did. I know kids can sometimes spout whatever pops up into their minds, but you don't want him to do that to someone else.
But I would use that feeling to motivate me. It's not a fun feeling, I think most people on MFP can sympathize with you and that's why we're here b/c we don't like that feeling. Start by honestly logging everything that you eat in the next few days. Then move on to doing a deficit, enough to sustain a .5-1lb loss each week. After a few weeks of eating at a deficit, you can add in exercise if you want to or have the time to. You can join a gym, go outside and walk, do Youtube videos, or anything else that catches your eye and seems like it would be fun and sustainable to you.
Even when I stopped logging like I should have (and put back on almost all the weight I loss), I still kept going to my pole classes b/c I really love it. It's something that I look forward to every week. Pole is the longest thing I've ever stuck to (did jogging, quit. I do spin off and on. Yoga and quit, and the list goes on). Just find something that you look forward to doing, it will make it easier to stick with it.1 -
Right now, looking good for Halloween...after that it will be looking good for the winter holidays...then getting in shape for beach season...I just keep trying to shift what my motivation is so I can stay motivated and on track.0
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LaurenRitter205 wrote: »I've lost 48 lbs my highest weight was 278. Since August I've been slacking really bad on eating right and being active. I'm starting to feel the difference in myself physically and emotionally and I've been beating myself up over it while at the same time not being able to stop eating! Anyways, this morning my 6 year old step son said "you're fat" then quickly said "IM just kidding with you". I know he meant it though and it hurt my feelings and made me feel bad even though I know I've done this to myself it's just been so hard to have self control lately. I guess that was what I needed to hear to get my *kitten* back in gear today so I'm trying this again.
What are things that have gotten you back on track?
Is it possible he was just repeating what he heard you saying about yourself (beating yourself up)?0 -
If hearing your kid call you fat (kids always call it like they see it) isn't motivation enough to do what you need to do then I don't know what to tell you.5
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Well since Christmas I went from 128 to 156. I got down to 128 mainly thanks to mfp. I'm only 5"4 so 156 is too much weight for me puts me in the overweight category and I can't continue gaining more. I feel so fat.0
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ah, kids have no filter. The mirror keeps me motivated.0
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When I really need to get things going, I join a dietbet to lose 4% in 4 weeks. Each game is fun and people in the game are super supportive. I just finished one today (met goal!) because I wanted to lose 5lbs for a wedding I'm going to next week. The accountability of the game helps keep me on target.0
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When I'm in one of those negligent eating modes, it's partly because I stopped planning out my eating. If I have to figure out what to eat on the spot, I'll likely choose poorly.
My suggestion is to plan tomorrow's food and pre-log your diary so you know for sure you will be at your calorie goal. Then just follow it like a map. Take the guess work and impulse eating out of it.1 -
I also love Dietbet! The money on the line keeps me on track0
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tcunbeliever wrote: »Right now, looking good for Halloween...after that it will be looking good for the winter holidays...then getting in shape for beach season...I just keep trying to shift what my motivation is so I can stay motivated and on track.
I do the same thing. My sister's baby shower is 10/1, my HS reunion is 10/15 (still haven't decided if I'm going), and my performance at my studio is 10/29 so I need to look good for all of those events. Then I need to look good for Thanksgiving, then the birth of the baby (gotta look good in those pictures of me holding the baby, lol), then my birthday, then Christmas. Then the Spring Gala at my job, then summer, and the list goes on and on. I just keep inventing new things I need to stay in shape for, lol.2 -
Personally, I would have a conversation with him about how words can hurt and how you know he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but that he did. I know kids can sometimes spout whatever pops up into their minds, but you don't want him to do that to someone else.
But...telling a six year old that he hurt your feelings is the same as saying he's responsible for your feelings. He's six, and kids that age are often brutally honest without thinking of the consequences.
However, I am all for talking with him about refraining from saying things about other people's bodies because it's inappropriate and not very nice.
OP, you can do this!
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Personally, I would have a conversation with him about how words can hurt and how you know he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but that he did. I know kids can sometimes spout whatever pops up into their minds, but you don't want him to do that to someone else.
But...telling a six year old that he hurt your feelings is the same as saying he's responsible for your feelings. He's six, and kids that age are often brutally honest without thinking of the consequences.
However, I am all for talking with him about refraining from saying things about other people's bodies because it's inappropriate and not very nice.
OP, you can do this!
He's not responsible for her feelings no, but he is responsible for his mouth. So he needs to learn while he's young what is okay to say to someone and what isn't. I'm not telling her to ground him or take away his tv privileges, just have a conversation with him about what's acceptable and what isn't. He's also not a toddler. He's of an age where you can expect him to know what is and isn't appropriate to say to someone.
However, feel more free with her b/c it's his step mother, plus who knows who he heard that from. Idk what their home life is like but she is his step mother, so maybe his mother is saying that around him and he's just projecting what he's hearing from an outside source. I don't know, but it does need to be addressed in the most appropriate way for him to understand that he's not in trouble and he's not being punished but there are things that are appropriate and not appropriate.4 -
Personally, I would have a conversation with him about how words can hurt and how you know he didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but that he did. I know kids can sometimes spout whatever pops up into their minds, but you don't want him to do that to someone else.
But...telling a six year old that he hurt your feelings is the same as saying he's responsible for your feelings. He's six, and kids that age are often brutally honest without thinking of the consequences.
However, I am all for talking with him about refraining from saying things about other people's bodies because it's inappropriate and not very nice.
OP, you can do this!
He's not responsible for her feelings no, but he is responsible for his mouth. So he needs to learn while he's young what is okay to say to someone and what isn't. I'm not telling her to ground him or take away his tv privileges, just have a conversation with him about what's acceptable and what isn't. He's also not a toddler. He's of an age where you can expect him to know what is and isn't appropriate to say to someone.
However, feel more free with her b/c it's his step mother, plus who knows who he heard that from. Idk what their home life is like but she is his step mother, so maybe his mother is saying that around him and he's just projecting what he's hearing from an outside source. I don't know, but it does need to be addressed in the most appropriate way for him to understand that he's not in trouble and he's not being punished but there are things that are appropriate and not appropriate.
This makes more sense than what you originally said. Thanks for clarifying.1 -
That wasn't a nice thing for your step son to say.
Usually, I know in myself when it's time to 'get back to it'. Just recently, I noticed my clothes were a little tighter and things were wobbling a bit more than usual (Argh!). I weighed myself and yes, I'd gained 12 lbs in 6 months or so. It is what it is. If you weight gain bothers you and you want to lose the excess gained, picture how you want to feel in yourself and this *should* be enough motivation to start being healthier. Try not to let nasty comments be your motivator - this entire journey should be embarked on because of self respect first and foremost. You know how this is done - you can do it 0
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