Divorcing, depressed, and trying to stop gaining

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ariesfireangel
ariesfireangel Posts: 30 Member
in Motivation and Support
My life has been a total cluster lately.
Found out at the beginning of the year about my husband of 11 years affair. I told him straight up your family or her. Needless to say by the title it's obvious what he chose.
Just feeling in a very depressing place right now. Most days I am okay. Some not so much. And the scale has been very blunt about what my emotional eating has been doing to me.
Just kind of looking for friends and support. Any one who has gone through stuff like this or just in a tough place right now

Replies

  • MrsKila
    MrsKila Posts: 320 Member
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    Keep your head up! Good luck to you
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
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    Sorry to hear it's been rough. I was ecstatic getting a divorce. It meant I could work on me instead of trying to keep peace in the house.

    Don't let it get you down. Set goals and take your life back.
  • spidergirll
    spidergirll Posts: 3 Member
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    Totally agree with above.... I went through a divorce in 2012/2013, (10yrs together then found out about an affair). It's difficult to believe it now, but you can make this into the start of the best new start of your life. Get **you** back. Be selfish- refocus that painful energy back into yourself as positive you-time. Working out and eating right will strengthen your body AND it will also strengthen and heal your mind/heart.
  • lilsteig
    lilsteig Posts: 17 Member
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    Sorry to hear about what you are going through. Good for you for taking back your life, though! Add me!
  • NadiaMayl
    NadiaMayl Posts: 495 Member
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    Good for your seeking kind words! What a tough time for you, but you ARE strong enough, we all are even when we don't know it! Dig deep, move forward and don't beat yourself up for the not-so-good-days!!! You are worth the effort!
  • beginforthelasttime16
    beginforthelasttime16 Posts: 533 Member
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    I am so sorry this is happening to you!

    I'm not in the same boat but I am working through a breakup.

    Feel free to add me if you want!
  • divcara
    divcara Posts: 79 Member
    edited September 2016
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    I'm so sorry, Aries. The best advice someone gave me was to take care of yourself right now. To be selfish. That this is Aries time. All you. It sucks and it feels horrible, but pour all the love you can into yourself right now, nourishing yourself.

    Treat yourself well, do your best to get good rest. Just move your body. It doesn't have to be high intense exercise (unless of course you are so inclined to take up boxing and punch things envisioning a certain person's head), but just anything to literally keep your body moving forward. Through tears or not.

    Try to make sure you are getting some decent nutrition. You'll feel better eating well in the long run than if you totally self-medicate with food. Even if you are emotionally eating, still try to get in some real foods and not just sugar or comfort foods that spike your sugar levels, make you feel sluggish, or just worse in general after the crash. And try to limit alcohol since that is a depressant.

    Most of all, be kind to yourself. It's okay to grieve the loss and to have good days and bad days and really bad days without fighting it. Try to take back this time for you and find those simple, small ways that bring you joy that gives you a bit more of a mental boost than food. And don't beat yourself up those days you get off track. Sometimes survival mode is the best we can do.
  • darciew2
    darciew2 Posts: 50 Member
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    Go ahead and friend me! On the other side of the divorce and 45 pound gain. You'll make it through on top, you only have to make it one minute at a time... Soon it will be one hour at a time.... Then one day
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    I promise you'll be okay. Keep your head up.
  • p0sitiv3_vib3s
    p0sitiv3_vib3s Posts: 78 Member
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    I separated from my husband nearly 9yrs ago now after 11yrs together - a string of affairs i didnt know about. I went the opposite stopped eating and trained everyday to the point I was clapsing and harming. Took a while but weight came back and I picked myself up and i met my 2nd husband a yr and half later and couldnt b happier! Now getting rid of the happiness lbs ive gained! Be strong because deep down u know u can be, gain control back by doing something for u. All the best on your journey x
  • clh72569
    clh72569 Posts: 280 Member
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    I went through a divorce after 24 years. It is tough, there will be good days and bad. I am now mentally, financially, and physically much better off. Look to the future, set short term and long term goals. I am a planner; so there can be a plan A, B, or C. However, sometimes it just goes a crazy way you would never figure. Realize you are strong and be persistant in your goals.
  • MaggieLoo79
    MaggieLoo79 Posts: 288 Member
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    I'm sorry for what you are going through! Divorce is awful!!! I used my divorce (2009) as an excuse to get in good shape. It helped that I was eager to date again!

    As for emotional eating, I struggle with that every day. I was reading an article the other day that talked about the broccoli test. Every time you eat, ask yourself if you would be eating if it was broccoli on your plate. I'm on day 3 and it seems to be helping. I'm hopeful for the future. :)

  • ariesfireangel
    ariesfireangel Posts: 30 Member
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    Thank you all for all your kind words and encouragement and even sharing your own stories with me! It really helps. I'm actually going to court this Friday to hopefully get everything finalised. I am very anxious but eager for at least this part of the process to be over with so I can feel like there is one less thing hanging over my head and bringing me down

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