Not looking for advice, just people to talk to

Akijade
Akijade Posts: 210 Member
in Motivation and Support
My friends, bless their hearts, keep offering me unsolicited diet advice when I post on Facebook about calorie counting. "Eat more yogurt! Bananas! More snacks!" It drives me nuts because no, I SHOULDN'T be eating MORE SNACKS when I am already out of calories for the day! No, I don't want an activity monitor! I just want to share with people this thing I have started doing. Unsolicited advice is one of the best ways to make me want to give up. I know it comes from a place of caring and love but just... gah!

Yes, I know I'm fat. But I promise you, friends, I know what I am doing at this stage. I lost 60 lbs calorie counting before. I can do it again. The trick is just doing it.

So... I'm looking for friends on MFP who just want to chat a bit and encourage each other.

Also, thanks for reading my little rant. :)
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Replies

  • AdamAthletic
    AdamAthletic Posts: 2,985 Member
    Add me if you like, I'm the worst friend ever - I never offer advice!

    Kidding, of course I'm always willing to help but as you rightly say - it isn't great always having opinions shoved in your face when you aren't seeking them!!

    Good luck and all the best!!!
  • DME174
    DME174 Posts: 4 Member
    I'm happy for mutual support & encouragement. I totally get where you're coming from, it can add unnecessary pressure & can affect the mindset. Feel free to add. Mark
  • JennieMaeK
    JennieMaeK Posts: 474 Member
    Feel free to add me if you like. I don't generally offer advice unless asked. Be willing to chat and offer encouragement though :smile:
  • Akijade
    Akijade Posts: 210 Member
    Thanks everyone! I love MFP. :)
  • louann_jude
    louann_jude Posts: 307 Member
    You add me if you want and rant to me any time you want. I didn't even post to face book about my weight loss until I was down 75 pounds. I mainly did that because I had lost the same 20-30 pounds for the last three years. I always started with a blaze then fizzled out and to gain it back by the end of the year. It's been 8 1/2 months and I am down almost 100 pounds with another 20 to go.

    I cringe now when I get on there and see friends and family talking about a fad or crash diet they have started. But they wont listen. So now I just keep quiet until asked. That's another thing I get asked a lot about my secret when I tell them it actually isn't a secret but work they don't want to hear nothing else.
  • Akijade
    Akijade Posts: 210 Member
    Everyone wants weight loss to be some magic secret that is easy and effortless. I wish it worked that way.
  • DesireeNL
    DesireeNL Posts: 220 Member
    You [and others in this thread] can add me if you like :smile: I'm still gaining weight after huge changes in my life and dealing with health issues, so it's been a real struggle. Not feeling like myself anymore, not fitting into my clothes anymore. I've lost weight by counting calories before so I know how it works, advice is not what I'm looking for either. Unfortunately I don't have anyone I can talk to about this.
  • pescetarian_love
    pescetarian_love Posts: 64 Member
    I feel you girl. Im more of a motivational friend then advice :)
  • jevvel1
    jevvel1 Posts: 7 Member
    You can add me if you want. I never post my weight loss journey on FB or my exercise or anything of that nature. I really don't want people to know. I don't want to feel extra guilt if I should slip up or am doing things that they think I should be doing differently. I'd rather them be surprised when they see me and start seeing a difference and then ask me how I did it. But that's just me.
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    advice says one thing... "Be more like me" and for that reason I only offer myself advice... If you are looking for a sympathetic ear once in a while... by all means add me.
  • Here4Ponies
    Here4Ponies Posts: 116 Member
    Feel free to add me as well. No unsolicited advice or diary critiques. Just interaction and encouragement. Our journeys are our own. Anyone else can add me as well.
  • sceleratis
    sceleratis Posts: 89 Member
    You can add me if you like! I'm on everyday and unsolicited advice is one of my biggest pet peeves so you'll never get it from me.
  • Suzy_in_DE
    Suzy_in_DE Posts: 191 Member
    Feel free to add me. Happy to chat and interact.
  • Akijade
    Akijade Posts: 210 Member
    Yay! I love seeing my feed with so many people now!
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  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
    I've been guilty of offering unasked for advice, but I usually remember to apologize when I'm called on it. Truth is, if it sounds like someone is complaining, I try to help them find a solution to their problem - it's how I show concern. Then when they reject every solution, I figure they just want to be unhappy. You've given me a different way of looking at it, so thanks!
  • bdavis1990
    bdavis1990 Posts: 31 Member
    You can feel free to add me as well :)
  • ErikaHope203
    ErikaHope203 Posts: 113 Member
    No judgement whatsoever....feel free to add me
  • emmadelavega
    emmadelavega Posts: 13 Member
    I totally get what you mean!! Feel free to add me :)
  • queseraseraxo
    queseraseraxo Posts: 12 Member
    I understand how you feel! I'm new on here, and although I'd never post on Facebook about my challenges solely cause I am super self-conscious, I am finding friends and family members commenting on everything from my shift to healthier snacks to my new portions, with no experience of a weight loss journey. It's frustrating but I'm taking it in stride! It's just hard to begin getting healthier without support!

    As it happens, I definitely have nothing to offer in terms of advice, so I'm perfect for just the support aspect of MFP! I'd love new friends on here who can bemotivating without being condescending! So, anyone interested in being friends, feel free to add me! :blush:
  • BreonnaQueen
    BreonnaQueen Posts: 58 Member
    edited September 2016
    One of my LEAST favorite kind of people is people who want to tell you how to lose weight and they've never lost an intentional pound in their life... especially when you didn't ask for their advice lol!

    Feel free to add me! I'm all about motivating and encouraging.
  • Emmalovestorun
    Emmalovestorun Posts: 168 Member
    Add me if you like
  • Mirelle242
    Mirelle242 Posts: 63 Member
    Hey feel free to add me as well. I don't post my journey on Facebook but I do it on Instagram because I do get more inspiration and motivation from there than on fb
  • cmtristani
    cmtristani Posts: 117 Member
    You can add me too if you want... I had to stop posting on facebook. Turns out about half my friends are expert dieticians, fitness coaches, or professional athletes and they all know for sure that I am doing it wrong and their way is better. its just easier to keep this part of my life here on mfp.
  • Estefani_H
    Estefani_H Posts: 17 Member
    I know how it is my family and friends are doing the same.
  • st_da_ma
    st_da_ma Posts: 8 Member
    Add away! I am looking to meet a talk with people while sticking with MY plan. I never new my friends and coworkers were certified fitness coaches once they found out I was trying to lose weight -_-.
  • sandi_s
    sandi_s Posts: 46 Member
    Know that feeling :smile:
  • angrylibrarian87
    angrylibrarian87 Posts: 17 Member
    Ha, love this thread. Not loving how many times I've tried to post & failed though... I'm new to mfp & indeed to all this smartphone malarkey (bloody thing's driving me batshit, i tell you) so haven't quite figured out how to add you lot yet, but please feel free to add me!
  • lilac_bunny
    lilac_bunny Posts: 137 Member
    Don't you find it happens about loads of different things though. I tell someone something because i think they need to know or might be interested and they always take it that I want advice lol. So I might say oh I can't pick you up my cars broke and they will start trying to guess what's wrong with it and saying g where it needs fixing etc. I haven't told people I am trying to loose weight. Maybe not even myself? Just that I am trying to get healthier and be fitter. Less people give advice on the gym lol.
    I also hate when you ask a question and instead of an answer to the question someone decides to offer alternatives. Example does anyone know what time the bus is? And someone says, why don't you drive? Lol

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