Motivation dropped to a new level

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amandaeve
amandaeve Posts: 723 Member
in Motivation and Support
I can divide my life into 2 halves: 1) "Health is important to me so I eat with intention and exercise regularly" and 2) "I really want to be healthy but I'm so stressed/busy/tired/poor/bored that I'm not keeping up right now, but I really want to."
Well, this summer I reached a new, 3rd level, "I know this used to matter to me, and it may again in the future, but right now, I just don't care. Not at all."
I am not sure what to do here. Should I "go with the flow" and just be in the moment with my “new me” or should I force myself with great effort to go through the motions of eating and exercising right for fear that it will matter to me again in the future?

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  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    edited September 2016
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    Nobody can answer that except you.

    My doctor gave me a good scare when I went 2 months ago and told me I am developing some serious health problems from being overweight, so right now I am motivated.

    I think maintaining is the hardest part. You have to find your own reasons and find something that fits into your life. I'm really busy -- I was nuts and went back to college -- so I don't have time for massive exercise, BUT I've found I can walk on a treadmill and read a textbook as long as I wear earplugs.

    It helps me to exercise if I connect it to something other than myself, leaving the house to meet a friend to exercise or go to a class or something. Left up to me, there are days I will just sit on the couch. Maybe you can connect to other people or events that way.
  • momofamadhouse
    momofamadhouse Posts: 197 Member
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    amandaeve wrote: »
    "I know this used to matter to me, and it may again in the future, but right now, I just don't care. Not at all."
    I can't tell you which direction to take. But this is exactly how I felt after my dad died, and I just said screw it. I gained over 40 pounds in 6 months. I became a total recluse and extremely depressed. It's an absolutely miserable way to live. My suggestion is to find a sort of balance you can be content with.

  • amandaeve
    amandaeve Posts: 723 Member
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    momofamadhouse wrote: »
    amandaeve wrote: »
    "I know this used to matter to me, and it may again in the future, but right now, I just don't care. Not at all."
    I can't tell you which direction to take. But this is exactly how I felt after my dad died, and I just said screw it. I gained over 40 pounds in 6 months. I became a total recluse and extremely depressed. It's an absolutely miserable way to live. My suggestion is to find a sort of balance you can be content with.

    I'm sorry to hear that- it must have been so hard! I hope things are going better for you now :)
  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
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    We've all been there. Do you regret this attitude?--yep, in the future. Forcing yourself to do something will never last. Sounds like you could use a change. Try new ways of exercising, perhaps with a group, to help your motivation. Or, you could try yoga, or something that will give you a challange. Get out of the rut, and as for eating--change that up as well. Wishing you luck, if you suffer from depression, you'll have to address that first.
  • divcara
    divcara Posts: 79 Member
    edited September 2016
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    Maybe you don't make it all or nothing right now. Instead of looking at eating well and exercising as a chore that you are so not feeling right now, try to incorporate little ways where you feel you are just nourishing yourself and doing things that make you feel a bit better. So maybe it's not 5am boot camp. That's okay. But making a point to just physically move your body just because it feels good to move once you do. Not overhauling everything you are eating, but making a point to add in something nutritious instead of just comfort food, etc.

    You don't have to classify yourself as this being the "new you" either. I think the "health is important to me" person is still inside of you. It's all there, life gets in the way sometimes. Some of these changes feel so overwhelming to make again. Some things do take effort and planning. But other times, the thought of it, the impossible standards we sometimes set for ourselves, seems so far out of reach. Maybe try to look for the simple, ways you can incorporate some things back into your life. Or just pick one. Something a bit challenging, but doable. I'm going to walk 10,000 steps, or I'm going to have a good breakfast every morning, or maybe it's three times a week, or whatever works for you. And then just commit to that and do that one thing.

    Don't sell yourself short and don't write yourself off as now you are just this person who doesn't care anymore so therefore it's not worth doing anything healthy. You'll get in a rut and feel worse. Look for the simple, small ways you can start digging yourself out and back to the you that is still in there!!
  • 2kellymike
    2kellymike Posts: 72 Member
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    I have a daughter named Amanda Eve too! :) That being said, I second the above advice to make small changes that DO mean something to you. You can do it!
  • brynnsmom
    brynnsmom Posts: 945 Member
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    Holy crap - did I write this? I am struggling with a very similar mindset, AmandaEve. I wish I had some words of wisdom but all I can say is I understand. I don't like accepting the "new me" because I feel like a quitter but on the flipside - and this is reality - I will probably never be as fit as I used to be strictly because of limits on my time. I'm trying to find a happy medium and do what I can, when I can, without feeling like I'm forcing a square peg into a round hole. Try not to think in such black and white terms and definitely don't give up completely. I'm sure you have accomplished a lot if diet and fitness were so important. Maybe you just need a little variety, or mental break, but goals do change, and that's OK too.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    edited September 2016
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    I say this from a place of love and concern: I hope it will matter again to you at some point in the future and that it doesn't take reaching a new high weight or having a medical scare to make it happen, too. I see far too many people in these boards who are back for a second, third or fourth time for those reasons and it makes my heart hurt for them.

    I actually had this conversation with my lifting partner yesterday. I have found that looking at eating better and exercising regularly as a change in lifestyle rather than having to work really hard for a short period of time to reach a goal with an end date to be the key for me. I'm not in misery, I'm eating the things I want to eat most of the time and I'm doing activities I really enjoy on a regular basis. I'm no longer striving to be a weight that isn't sustainable long-term and pressuring myself to get there. I'm using balance in my eating and my free time and it's made me so much happier. I'm actually maintaining a weight that is 10-15 pounds more than my original goal weight when I found MFP 5.5 years ago. I'm happy with it because I'm about the same size as I was when I hit that goal due to adding muscle. If someone had told me back then that I'd be happy at this weight I would have laughed at them.

    I'm personally of the mind that if you don't really want something wholeheartedly, especially something as emotionally difficult as weight loss, you're only going to make yourself miserable trying to convince yourself you want it while going through the motions.

    Maybe for right now just focus on trying to do little things to improve your health while not gaining weight? You could find a sport or an activity you really like to do, or have thought about trying, a few days per week rather than spend time in a gym just to burn calories. A team sport like soccer might be fun and most cities have recreational leagues (my adult son plays in three of them every week, one indoor, one men's and one co-ed). If you like tennis, find a league or just hit the courts. Maybe you've always thought about wanting to run and could start with Couch to 5K and see if it's for you.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    You don't have to feel excited about it every day. I say go through the motions and keep up some good habits. It sounds like a cliche but your future self will thank you. It's easy to slip into sloppy habits. You can be like me and gain 5-10 lbs each year thinking it doesn't matter that much. Then when you get to 60, you'll be100+ lbs overweight. It's no fun getting to that point and it's no fun getting yourself out of such a mess.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    Sadly, this is for you to figure out. The fact that you are on MFP and reaching out - says to me that you do WANT to make changes but that you are afraid of starting over. This is common too. Just bare in mind that you aren't alone in thinking that way and that there is so much support on offer here :)

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