Experiences that really, deeply changed you

I got saved July 24, 1984.

My AA and NA sobrietry dates are also July 24, 1984.

The experiences that deeply changed me the most started at 13. I was followed home from school. I was almost pulled into this guys car, when my mom's friend saved me. That is the day that I realized that I can run my *kitten* off when I was scared and that I am truly a fighter to my core.

Second thing that changed me was watching my father, who was my best friend, die of stage 4 Melanoma cancer. You never realize how indestructible you see your parents. He was my idol, first love, best friend, among other things. Holding his hand as he took his last breath, I experienced such a soul searing, shattering, life altering sadness. I decided in that moment to begin to take a good look at my life and make changes.

As my father was battling stage 4 Melanoma cancer, I was fighting stage 3 Melanoma cancer. Helping him through his, seeing my possible future, I decided a few things that are still changing me to this day.....

1...You only have one life, so you better start living it!
2...Only you can make yourself happy, so do all you can to change the things you always wished to, why not!!??!
3...Take chances, what is the worst someone can say.....no....and then move on!

Knock on wood, my cancer is silent for now, and if it returns.....It can KISS MY *kitten*!! I will fight and fight

When I was like 10, I was alone at home (normal thing to do back home as we mature fairly fast). I heard somebody breaking the window glass and trying to run after me. I took off and ran out the door screaming to the neighbors home. The person who broke in took off.

Police came and did a search. They saw something on the floor during their search and gave it to my parents. My parents seemed mortified after seeing whatever was given to them. They hugged me tightly. I didn't said anything.

After a week or 2 I got the courage to ask them what was it. After discussing privately my parents decided that its best I know so I can keep better alert. They showed me a picture of me taken from my bedroom closet while I was sleeping.

Wow, that would be traumatising.
Probably not the best thing for me to read right before I go to bed either!

I am sure throughout the years that I have endured many things that have taught me valuable lessons but the things that stand out to me most are:

1. Watching my Grandmother who I lived across the street from my whole childhood turn into a totally different person due to Alzheimers. I watched her go from someone who could move mountains to someone that couldn't even remember to go to the bathroom on her own. It was so devastating. She lived with this disease for over 10 years and each year would get more and more difficult to watch. When she finally passed away, I lost a big piece of my heart, but I have always kept things that she taught me in my head and heart and I think about her every day and the kind of person she was before the disease. She is my angel now and I know she is still watching over me. In fact, I see her all the time in my own daughter now.

2. My mom surviving breast cancer. This was a huge deal because my mom was 42 and I was 17 at the time of her diagnoses... this made it much more scary because my mom lost her mother to Lukemia when she was 17 and my grandmother was 42. It hit really close to home. I made it a point to be strong for her and help her though. This November will mark her 19 years being cancer free. She is my hero! She makes time to help so many others through the difficulties of battling breast cancer and is always willing to help someone in need. I strive to be like her.

3. Visiting the country my husband is from (Dominican Republic) taught me some very valuable lessons about life and taking so many of the precious luxeries that we have for granted. One experience that stands out the most was visting a friend's mother there on my first trip. She had a very nice home with beautiful furniture and was so happy. Over the course of the next 2 years, she lost her husband and her income and when I returned to visit her again I cried at the sight of her very empty home. All she had left was a couple of plastic lawn chairs. My husband gave her some money and she cried and told him that she had just prayed the night before to God to help her find a way to eat the next day. She has since had to sell her home and move to a very small place that is barely a home. This will stick with me forever. I am grateful that we are able to help support my mother-in-law and brothers-in-law who still live there but I wish that we could do more for others. We are in no way well off, but we do what we can.

I suffered an ectopic pregnancy in November last year, I was living in Taiwan at the time (I'm from the UK), I had life saving surgery.
The hospital, surgeons and nurses were amazing, it brought my fiancé and I closer and it has made me appreciate life more.

Seeing the movie Twister in the theaters. Been a srorm chaser/enthusiast ever since.

1. Being a father
2. The highest highs and lowest lows of life long commitment
3. Allowing myself to be positive, always
4. Believing in something more than myself
5. Everything about life after 40
6. Understanding and accepting I cannot know everything, but continuing to try

Holy smokes I've led an easy life

1. growing up doing something somewhat based on appearance taught me to never let someone see that they can have an effect on what you think about yourself.
2. being told my baby would have no brain (he does have a brain btw) at my first ultrasound was pretty life altering. Meant that I'd never again judge anyone for decisions made during pregnancy and those that say they would never do anything like terminate a pregnancy I now say wait until you are in the position where you are being given that option. Being told this information by your family doctor of 33 years I think changed his life a bit too.
3. Spending countless hours at the cancer centre with my dad for his treatments has given me a new appreciation for how lucky I am and how tough people can be. Having a bad day go and sit with someone getting a chemo treatment, between the kindness of the nurses and the hope that the patients have it can't not alter your own perspective on life.

I was on the convoy back from Hohenfels with about a platoon-sized
element of A Btry. I don't recall most of those there except CPL
Stevens. Just past Nurnburg we came upon an over-turned 5-ton along
the side of the autobahn. As we approached I got on the radio
"Stop-Stop-Stop! They're americans!"

When I stopped my HMMWV on the shoulder I sprinted back to the scene.
German Paramedics were around the truck, as was a crowd of on-lookers.
Thankfully I had picked up a good deal of the German language from
My then-girlfriend. I was able to make conversation and coordination with the
responders and medics. I shared with the others there were two known
occupants inside, then moved in front of the truck, noticing a gap
just below the hood, between the truck and the ground. I remember
low-crawling under the truck to look for the occupants. I was greeted
by a SGT on his back, forehead skin peeled back some. He was
incoherent but conscious. I grabbed him by the shoulder and told him

"Were Americans. We're here. It'll be okay." I could smell fuel and
feel fluid everywhere. Occasionally we'd see sparks.

Luckily, we had a wrecker with us, so we were able to hook to the
undercarriage of the truck and lift it about 2 feet. We couldn't go
much higher because the wrecker was a 5-ton, too - in fact, we had
by-standers perched up on the front bumper of the wrecker to try and
provide a modicum of counter weight. I was called out from under the
truck while they attempted a lift. As the truck got a little more
clearance i went back under and was able to position myself under the
SGT and sort of wiggle him out to the waiting paramedics. I pulled him atop me,
and sorta scooted him (think rescue swimmer) out from under the truck
At one point the front of the wrecker started raising up off the ground! Dozens of
bystanders and other Soldiers rushed to climb on it, in an attempt to
act as a counter-weight.

As the man I helped bring out was being put into the ambulance I
looked down at my right hand to see it painted with blood and what
seemed like pieces of flesh. CPL Stephens, and this is why I remember
him being there, walked with me to the medic and helped me wash it
off. The driver of the vehicle, however, was still there. He was
trapped by the weight of the under-seat batteries.

There are 4 batteries in a 5-ton, if I recall. I'd guess each weighs 50lbs. The
driver was screaming and moaning for most of the event. Myself and a
German paramedic grabbed the seat and pulled up in an attempt to allow
room to remove the driver. As they got the driver out, and turned him
face up we saw his Army-issue "Birth Control" classes had shattered.

The glass, unfortunately, filled his eyes, sort of like a snow-cone.

The first man was airlifted to a hospital - a helicopter landed right
there on the freeway. I walked to the bird along side his stretcher -
MASH style. When we got there, he looked up at me and a single tear
rolled down his cheek. I put my hand on his shoulder and said
"Sergeant...you'll be fine." He flew away. The driver of the 5-ton was
driven away.

Moving back along we ensured there had been nobody had been in the
back of the truck - we found the dispatch and some personal gear which
we secured. One thing we noticed - the Truck did not have a proper
'dispatch' - wasn't properly authorized to leave post. I remember
looking at one of the kevlars the soldiers had with them containing a
literal puddle of blood. We dumped it there along side the road and
headed back for our installation.

When we got back to McCully a group was waiting for us. One SFC was
passionately telling us how we'll get screwed because none of our
leadership would put us in for the Soldier's Medal. Now, I'm not sure
what we did would have met THAT criteria...But eventually their
battalion commander sent down "Certificates of Achievement" to us
which read:

Meritorious achievement during the recovery and evacuation of two B
Co, 501st FSB Soldiers involved in an automobile accident. Your
actions allowed for the quick medical evacuation of both soldiers and
very likely, saved their lives. This reflects great credit upon..."
yadda yadda yadda.

The reason I know the citation is because it's the only Army award I
keep in my office/cubical. Sure, i've got a couple ARCOMS and whatever - but
with being able to provide a service to those two Soldiers - that was
special to me.

I've got several, but the biggest one was when my husband came back from Afghanistan and EAS'd 4 months later.

Fortunately, we had been together for around 8 years so we had a very solid foundation to start. I don't believe we would have made it if we hadn't been together long. He returned home to a 2 year old and 6 month old twins (that he'd never met) from a combat deployment where there were several casualties and fatalities.

The whole first year of him being out of the service was an experience that changed the way I think, the way I feel, our marriage, our kids, my perspective on life in general... You learn a lot about someone when they're going through some things (survivor's guilt, PTSD, and TBI to name a few. It's been almost 5 years and while the intensity of some struggles have changed, it's still something we're forever living with.