Help me not hate being in the gym!

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  • Joanna2012B
    Joanna2012B Posts: 1,448 Member
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    I frequent the weights section of my gym. These are my reasons for staring/looking at people:
    • *kitten*! Those guys look like they are heading for the squat rack - Damn! I was planning on using that.
    • WTF are they doing? Curling in the squat rack?
    • Pfft - using 2 benches for rack pulls - the manager isn't going to like that!
    • You gonna unrack those plates, buddy? nope, thought not.
    • Good form!
    • Terrible form! Should I say something? probably not - none of my business.
    • That guy has been coming here for 2 years now and he's still lifting the same weights with the same crappy style and he still looks the same!
    • Hahaha - bicep curls with more shoulders than a David Byrne suit!! King of the Swingers.
    • Could I pull off that long socks and Chuck Taylors look? What am I thinking, I'm a 48 year old bloke!! NO!!

    What I am not thinking:
    • He/She/They don't deserve to be in here.

    ^^This is great!!!

    I started being a fat girl...just like I started running as a fat girl. Now...because I didn't give in to the pressure...I am a fit girl!!! I say you go and rock those weights.
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
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    I was the fat girl for a long time, now I am just the overweight girl. I started with a personal trainer and it helped a lot, but I went in and did the free weights all on my own several times a week too. It wasn't always easy, but I kept going and now I am the girl in the weight room all the time. There was no reason to be scared, I am now friends with a lot of the people that used to scare me.
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
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    sijomial wrote: »
    I get looks from the bulky dudes and the fit ladies and I wish I could know what they are thinking. Are they thinking "What the hell is she doing here?!" or something nicer?

    Most likely they are they are thinking - respect for taking steps to improve yourself.

    Go to the gym to get fit/strong not because you are already fit/strong!

    Yep, the vast majority are respecting you. Screw the rest. Best of luck.
  • LazSommer
    LazSommer Posts: 1,851 Member
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    I frequent the weights section of my gym. These are my reasons for staring/looking at people:
    • *kitten*! Those guys look like they are heading for the squat rack - Damn! I was planning on using that.
    • WTF are they doing? Curling in the squat rack?
    • Pfft - using 2 benches for rack pulls - the manager isn't going to like that!
    • You gonna unrack those plates, buddy? nope, thought not.
    • Good form!
    • Terrible form! Should I say something? probably not - none of my business.
    • That guy has been coming here for 2 years now and he's still lifting the same weights with the same crappy style and he still looks the same!
    • Hahaha - bicep curls with more shoulders than a David Byrne suit!! King of the Swingers.
    • Could I pull off that long socks and Chuck Taylors look? What am I thinking, I'm a 48 year old bloke!! NO!!

    What I am not thinking:
    • He/She/They don't deserve to be in here.

    Wait, what's wrong with long socks and chucks?
  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
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    I frequent the weights section of my gym. These are my reasons for staring/looking at people:
    • *kitten*! Those guys look like they are heading for the squat rack - Damn! I was planning on using that.
    • WTF are they doing? Curling in the squat rack?
    • Pfft - using 2 benches for rack pulls - the manager isn't going to like that!
    • You gonna unrack those plates, buddy? nope, thought not.
    • Good form!
    • Terrible form! Should I say something? probably not - none of my business.
    • That guy has been coming here for 2 years now and he's still lifting the same weights with the same crappy style and he still looks the same!
    • Hahaha - bicep curls with more shoulders than a David Byrne suit!! King of the Swingers.
    • Could I pull off that long socks and Chuck Taylors look? What am I thinking, I'm a 48 year old bloke!! NO!!

    What I am not thinking:
    • He/She/They don't deserve to be in here.
    This is freaking awesome btw!!
  • Dano74
    Dano74 Posts: 503 Member
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    Another thing... get interactive. Let them get to know you, your goals, why you're there, that you're serious and that you are kicking trash and taking names. Most discomfort is eliminated by "breaking the ice".

    For the most part, "Fit Folk" appreciate being asked for advice. Ask what move they're doing, ask how your form is, maybe even ask for a spot. It humanizes you and can get you some potentially inspirational gym buddies as well. The more you get out of your head, the less you'll have time to internalize every look and unheard comment.

    You are AWESOME.
  • Rururiri
    Rururiri Posts: 31 Member
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    sijomial wrote: »
    I get looks from the bulky dudes and the fit ladies and I wish I could know what they are thinking. Are they thinking "What the hell is she doing here?!" or something nicer?

    Most likely they are they are thinking - respect for taking steps to improve yourself.

    Go to the gym to get fit/strong not because you are already fit/strong!
    +1 When I see people that are starting out, I have the same respect for them. I am glad that they are taking steps of improving themselves, and appreciate that they can be in the weight section (very intimidating place for a new person). I know because I've been there. You just have to keep telling yourself that everyone started as "that new person" in the gym.

  • girlinahat
    girlinahat Posts: 2,956 Member
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    put it this way - you have absolutely no idea how those other people started out. Maybe they were just like you, and fat people in the gym trying to lose weight, and doing it.

    One way not to feel so self-conscious is to get better with lifting weight. The more you lift, the more people are going to be staring at the weights you're lifting, not at you, and thinking 'woah! that's some weight being lifted over there!'

  • pdm3547
    pdm3547 Posts: 1,057 Member
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    I was in the gym last night on my new routine. My trainer has added squats, so last night was the first time I'd done them without him being next to me.
    There was this ridiculously good looking girl behind me working on her midriff as I set up the rack. I was super conscious of her looking at herself in the mirror and, by default, watching me. As I started my squats, I noticed my big old belly sticking out and thought that I looked a real mess.
    Towards the end of the sets, I noticed the girl had stopped what she was doing and was watching me. I was sooo conscious of how I looked. But then I noticed her eyes - she was following me up and down. She wasn't staring, judging or anything, she was watching my form. It didn't matter that I was overweight, it didn't matter I wasn't as pumped as the other guys, she was just watching me squat.
    I re-racked, made eye contact, smiled. She smiled back and gave a little "well done" nod.

    That's what happens in a gym. No judgement, no nastiness. Everyone is trying to reach the same goal.
  • JBApplebee
    JBApplebee Posts: 481 Member
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    pdm3547 wrote: »
    I was in the gym last night on my new routine. My trainer has added squats, so last night was the first time I'd done them without him being next to me.
    There was this ridiculously good looking girl behind me working on her midriff as I set up the rack. I was super conscious of her looking at herself in the mirror and, by default, watching me. As I started my squats, I noticed my big old belly sticking out and thought that I looked a real mess.
    Towards the end of the sets, I noticed the girl had stopped what she was doing and was watching me. I was sooo conscious of how I looked. But then I noticed her eyes - she was following me up and down. She wasn't staring, judging or anything, she was watching my form. It didn't matter that I was overweight, it didn't matter I wasn't as pumped as the other guys, she was just watching me squat.
    I re-racked, made eye contact, smiled. She smiled back and gave a little "well done" nod.

    That's what happens in a gym. No judgement, no nastiness. Everyone is trying to reach the same goal.

    At least you didn't react like I did. I was heading to the water fountain & this attractive blonde was just getting there & she gave a nod & said hello, and my immediate reaction was to say hi back, but then I turned around to see who she was talking to. Nobody was behind me, so at least we both got a good laugh out of it.
  • cnbbnc
    cnbbnc Posts: 1,267 Member
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    It sounds generic, but you have to just get in there and do your thing. Are a few people possibly looking at you? Yeah. But....do we ever go anywhere where there isn't someone around whose thinking something negative and just generally being an *kitten*? Nope. We can't waste time and energy worrying about stuff like that because in the grand scheme it means nothing.

    As an aside, I admit to looking at people in the gym when they have a trainer with them but it's simply because I like seeing what they're working on. Also...I watch the trainer and think that maybe he/she could work with me. People might be looking for that reason as well.
  • KDar1988
    KDar1988 Posts: 650 Member
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    I'm the fat girl in the weight section. It took months for me to get up the nerve to walk in there. But during that time I watched videos like crazy, asked for advice here and then one day took a deep breath and walked in. I knew what I wanted to do, pretty sure I had the right form (no trainer for me), put my headphones in and blocked everyone out. I don't think anyone pays any attention. There is this one guy the reminds me of a shark while I'm doing bench presses. I keep seeing him circling me. Not sure if he hangs there just in case I fail a lift or what but it's kind of weird. In any case...like Nike says...Just Do It!! :)
  • ElleBellesTheoBear
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    I hate the gym as well. I go there to work out not to pick up and I'm so incredibly socially awkward lol!! I ended up leaving the gym and joining a pilates gym that does all sorts of classes. I go 4 times a week and run on the side. So much better lol!!
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
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    DanerTee wrote: »
    I get looks from the bulky dudes and the fit ladies and I wish I could know what they are thinking. Are they thinking "What the hell is she doing here?!" or something nicer?

    If you're new to the weight room the regulars are wondering who this new person is, same as if someone new starts at the workplace.

    Who cares what they think, really, though? It's not about them, and if they don't like the "fat chick" in "their" area, that's just too damned bad.
  • Sara1791
    Sara1791 Posts: 760 Member
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    I felt like this and still feel like this on occasion. Headphones in and imaginary blinders on helps me, only checking the mirrors for form. If I could have conned a friend into going with me I think that would have helped. New workout clothes help. Making progress helps. Being consistent helps.
  • carolinelanewa
    carolinelanewa Posts: 44 Member
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    Being in the gym with a pt is a huge help. I have one and would never went anywhere near weights before getting with her. Now i go 2 times a week on my own. As for what other people are thinking i know 99% of the time i vague out with music and focus on what i am doing. Wouldnt have a clue what people are doing. There are two big girls who train with another pt one night a week. I totally admire them. They are in their giving it a go, and i admire how tough it must be fitness wise. Im reasonanbly fit now and it still kills me. If you need something to think you belong there is this 50 plus female who discovered after getting videoed running for physio that she runs like a totally unbalanced fat little penguin. Me. God it made me laugh when i saw it. And yes i may have the weirdest running style but i belong in the gym too. Like someone else said if someone was nasty i can guarantee those around you would give it to them. We are all in the gym for the same reason. So go and do your thing and dont care about others. Good on you and good luck with your journey.