Ideas for getting out a rut?

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frankieb1990
frankieb1990 Posts: 10 Member
edited August 2016 in Introduce Yourself

I'm 26 and for nearly a year I have suffered with interstitial cystitis from bilharzia and giardia in the stomach. Previously to this I wanted to lose weight and I struggled with my body image, but I was very active and weighed around 135 pounds (I am 5'1) and was on a happy and healthy journey using fitness to reach my weight and body image goals!

Then I fell ill :( And over the past 10 months have managed to gain a lot of weight taking me up to around 154 pounds :'( I have never weighed this much before or been so disgusted with my body image. I would binge eat during some of the illness because I was so depressed from how poorly I was, I couldn't exercise properly... the whole scenario has been completely debilitating and dispiriting.

I am not 100% back to full health yet, but I am well enough to work out with the exception of the odd bad day, although sometimes a bad day can send me into a spiral of body hating depression, I am starting weekly sessions with a personal trainer soon too. I can't help but look in the mirror and be completely heartbroken at how repsulsive I look now though and how much I detest the sight of my own body....

I am just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience? And I want to know how you managed to pull yourself out of the misery pit... I desperately want to lose the weight and feel good in my skin, the destination seems so far away now though and I developed bad eating habits while I was ill that I didn't have before :'(

Thanks :blush: xxxxxxxxxxxx

Replies

  • Laura_Ivy
    Laura_Ivy Posts: 555 Member
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    I feel your pain girl,last yr in June I was diagnosed with a horrible uti that didn't go away. Ended up going to a Uro-gyno that said it was most likely Interstitial cystitis. The diagnosis is so depressing especially since it causes pain and it is so hard to explain the pain besides a constsnt uti pain ! :( I too have gained some of my weight back and am feeling down. I have a hard time with higher impact but still work out with modifications. Hope you don't mind the add!
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    You are not repulsive, you are wonderful, unique and precious. Weight does not determine your worth and never, ever will. People do not love you for what the scale shows. I went through a period of extreme self loathing when I realised I had gained 12 pounds and people no longer commented on how 'thin' I was. I would avoid mirrors yet if by chance I came across one, my eyes would zoom in to the parts of me I hated and I'd want to cry for days.

    There came a point when I realised that this isn't living. This isn't why I was put on this earth. I owe more to myself, to my family who love me, to my boyfriend, to everything. Okay so you are no longer 135 pounds. And what? Maybe you will be again, maybe not. Ultimately, it isn't important. As long as you are living a healthy, happy life - you can be whoever you want to be. Be strong.
  • blackiechan131
    blackiechan131 Posts: 5 Member
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    WOW! I applaud you frankie for having the courage to blog about yr struggles. I hope you have had less bad days since writing the blog. Just keep at it and don't give up!!! Personally I don't think that weight matters but more if your clothes are looser and whether you are eating right. Really think about what will motivate you to work out, maybe a favourite outfit you use to wear or a reward once you have gotten down to yr goal BMI/weight but whatever yr motivator is, pin it up on yr wall, put it as yr Ph or computer screensaver and just pull these up or look at this to push/motivate yourself... YOU CAN DO THIS, GIVE UP ON THE BAD HABITS AND BAD EATING BUT DONT GIVE UP ON YOU FRANKIEB!!!!!
  • xsunshine02x
    xsunshine02x Posts: 34 Member
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    I feel you. A few moths ago I was doing really well with my weight loss and was on track to look good at my wedding this coming december, then I hurt my back rather badly 2 months ago. The first week I could barely stand. All I did was lay in bed and eat and feel sorry for myself. On top of that I have depression, and when I'm sad I eat, so that's been a struggle all on its own. Presently, I still struggle with pain and there are alot of things I still can't do, but I can walk, and as long as I can do that, I'm happy. It will be a long, hard road to get back to where I was, but it's small steps that get you there. I'd love to be there to support you too if you like.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    There are probably people on here who have 154 lbs as their GOAL weight. Are they repulsive? Or is it just you? Can you see how you are being overly critical?

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