Food addiction

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The past few years I've dealt with food addiction and I'm trying so hard to get a grip on it. I've lost 44 lbs from my highest weight and the past few months ive gained and lost the same 5 lbs over and over again. I tried starting calorie counting yesterday AGAIN and ate slightly over the limit cause we had a very heavy meal for dinner and even though I originally had the meal planned out in my diary and was under calories I went back for seconds cause it was so delicious.

I think a big problem is that I struggle with this 24/7 thinking about food and what my next meal will be and I'm living with my boyfriend who is extremely supportive but at the same time trying to gain weight and always eating/stocking up on food id love to eat but are usually very high in calories. Therefore I can't eat them and when I am home I want to go on a binge eating spree.

What are some ways to cope with this? I don't have time to see a therapist and I don't know what the root of this problem is. I try and keep busy so I don't think about it as much but when I'm at work and having a slow day it's what I'm thinking about. I think I just like eating. Literally having food in my face all day and going home to seeing all this good food is just extremely difficult. It's not like drugs where you can just not be around it, but it's ALWAYS around whether you see it on tv or you're tempted at the grocery store. I just don't know how to make my brain say no more!

Replies

  • melodyesch
    melodyesch Posts: 49 Member
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    I understand. I have never understood those people who never think about food. My friend often forgets to eat. That's something that I just have never comprehended. How does one FORGET to eat? My thoughts are constantly focused on food. Before cutting back, it was just what I was going to have at the next snack/meal and how long until that time. Now that I'm calorie counting, my thoughts revolve around what I can squeeze into my calorie allotment.

    Thankfully, my DH is trying to cut back also so we don't have tempting foods around the house. I really don't know what I would do if he came home with tons of tempting foods that I can't self-regulate. So I have no advice for that part. But wanted to at least say that I understand and you're not alone with your love of food.
  • DanerTee
    DanerTee Posts: 263 Member
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    I am absolutely the same. I have found, that like a smoker or other addict, a lot of the problem is habit. There are other factors too of course, but habit is a big one. For example, we all know smokers who light up the minute they get in the car, or crack a beer etc. Well, for me- as a food addict- the minute I put my kids to bed and get my book out for some wind-down time, I am instantly thinking about a snack. I often indulge, especially if my husband is out of the house.
    That is after having large meals throughout the day. There is no part of it that concerns hunger.
    I have been having success by changing my daily routines. Doing a yoga vid or other workout right when the kids go to bed, or taking a bath etc. Also, I am someone who never eats in the middle of the night. Once I'm in bed I'm done eating- so if I DO want to read, I will wait till close to bedtime, and read in bed instead of on the couch. Making an herbal tea every time I want to snack seems to work well too. Gives me something to do....
    There are all kinds of little tricks. If you can remove the mindless eating from your routine for a few weeks, you will be amazed at how easy it is to not do it. Most of the time. You will always have your moments. Acknowledge them and move on.
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    edited September 2016
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    If you can't afford a therapist, have you thought about trying self-therapy? There are CBT self help workbooks available on Amazon like "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Dummies" (really, that's the name of one of them) that you might find helpful in sorting out some of your issues.

    Editing to add that I remember someone on Reddit recommending "The Beck Diet Solution" as a CBT based read for behavioral/addiction-like issues with food. She said it was life changing for her. I remember her mentioning it was the pink book. I'm not sure if that matters, but thought I'd throw that in.
  • linsitidswell
    linsitidswell Posts: 9 Member
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    I totally get you. I think about food all the time and feel as though I am always fighting against gaining weight. People will stop at one helping of a pudding, but if it's there I'll have more. Always. It's nothing to do with hunger. I just love food. I think it is an addiction, but I now walk extra to be able to enjoy more of what I want and it works. X
  • kimikola22
    kimikola22 Posts: 2 Member
    edited September 2016
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    I am completely in the same boat as you. My husband is underweight, so I am trying to help him gain weight. I am overweight and am trying to lose weight. I have issues with food and have had them all my life. My family was abusive towards me in many ways and one of those ways included encouraging me to eat a bunch, than harassing me and calling me terrible names afterwards. It was super messed up.
    Whats helped me is facing those issues along with the additional problems those issues caused. For example, I have very recently discovered that I am a self sabotager. I believe I hurt my own efforts due to the deep rooted fear of change along with the fear of missing out. Food is heavily ingrained into our culture as a large part of our socialization with others, so when I am the one not eating or eating small portions I not only feel left out or that I am missing out but others are also making comments because of how important food and socializing is in general. Accepting that I am not really missing out (I am right effing there, duh lol) and simple sternly stating to others that I don't want that or this is all I am going to have has helped me out in social situations.
    In private, what has come to help me and my husband is getting him weight gaining stuff that isn't like stocking up on high calorie foods. For example, I get my husband ensure shakes and drinks which helps him gain weight but doesn't tempt me at all. I also have cancelled my subscription to cable TV which has helped tremendously with not seeing all the tons of food advertisements. I would suggested getting a subscription to Netflix or Hulu since there's no commercials and you still get to enjoy your shows. Also, don't watch food shows; I have come to the realization that even if i had just eaten and am not hungry, I end up wanting to make something or go get something when I'm watching some type of cooking show.
    Try to plan your meals and prepare them so that you aren't tempted to eat other not so good things. I spend loads of time planning, prepping and cooking so by the time I'm done I have no further interest in any kind of food lol. I plan my meals for a whole month in advance and have it printed and placed in the kitchen so that I can always see whats on the menu and be prepared instead of always winging it.
    I would like to suggest trying the app called Vida, where you have access to a health professional that can help you work towards you goal and be there to coach you through you situations. I have Vida and I picked a registered dietitian as my coach and we video chat every week, email each other, and text each other through the app. I would say it has been extremely beneficial to overcoming my problems because not only do I have someone that is an addition to my support system, but also someone who will hold me accountable for my choices and help me through those difficult times.
    Some insurance companies like (BC of California) offer a video chat type of set up where you can see/speak to a therapist anytime, so that may also be something to look into.
    Being honest with myself and holding myself accountable for my actions has been what has helped me the most; not the diet or exercise (although that does obviously help) but the psychological aspect of my relationship with food and addressing the issues is what's getting me to finally loose some real weight.
    I hope this has helped and wish you good luck on your journey!
  • CattOfTheGarage
    CattOfTheGarage Posts: 2,750 Member
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    A lot of times, fighting too hard makes these feelings worse, I think. For example, you seem very stressed about having gone "slightly over the limit". That's really not a big deal. If you expect perfect control of your eating, and beat yourself up when you are not perfect, you will make this much harder.

    You need to relax the grip. Learning to eat within a calorie limit is a learning process,it takes time. Every time you eat more than you intended is just an opportunity to learn, congratulate yourself for trying, and reassure yourself that it's all going to be OK.

    I often think that the body of someone who's stuck in a diet cycle is like a frightened animal which thinks it's going to starve. If you beat yourself up and berate yourself, that's like hitting the frightened animal with a stick to try and make it calm down. You're just going to lose its trust even more and it will try harder to get food because it does not trust you to care for it. What's needed is compassion and patience, not stress and self-loathing.

    For the record, I don't really believe in "food addiction". Food is not a drug. I know it creates a dopamine cycle, but so do sex, exercise, board games and hugs. I DO believe in binge-restrict cycles, and my own experience and that of many others is that the first step to escaping from them is learning to relax and trust yourself around food, and stopping recriminations and guilt after eating.
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
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    I once thought I was 'food addicted' too. My every waking thought was about food and what my next meal would be. For me, I managed to soften the edge off my issues by speaking to a counsellor and learning about 'mindful eating'. Yes, it sounds corny but it's something that really helped me. I would actually start listening to my body (my stomach, in particular). Is my BODY telling me I'm hungry or is my head? Listen to your body. When you eat, chew your food properly and TASTE it properly too. Eat slowly and mindfully. When you've finished your portion, wait 20 minutes before reaching for more. Your body will tell you if you NEED more once it's had time to digest what it's already eaten. Your head will tell you to reach for more straight away.

    Yes it sounds incredibly cheesy but I found it helped me overcome my addiction. It's a work-in-progress but I know exactly what you are going through- and it doesn't have to be this way. :)