The secret thin club...

rcktgirl05
rcktgirl05 Posts: 87 Member
in Motivation and Support
I had to chase a thought out of my head yesterday, and it relates to how it takes time for our minds to catch up with our new and changing bodies. I was walking home from the gym after a particularly tiring session, then this thought popped in my head... Sometimes I feel like there is a secret club of thin people and I'm just an imposter who doesn't belong... Waiting to be found out and kicked out back to my place. I know logically this is silly! I AM the person working out, doing the sweating, finally wearing the regular non-plus size workout clothes. But my old insecurities are sometimes hard to push away! It will take some time I think to really reconcile the fact that I am that person, and even if I was still a size 18, any judging at the gym is probably encouragement! I always used to think that people thought the worst and that's probably not even true. I wonder how long before I think of myself as a normal size first and not a big girl anymore?

Replies

  • campfirequeen1
    campfirequeen1 Posts: 317 Member
    I have no idea since I haven't been there but I think it's worth a bump to see if there is someone out there that has experienced that sort of thing. Wishing you a connection and if not that then a brief get acquainted period for your heart and your new body to meld together!
  • adia_sinead
    adia_sinead Posts: 3 Member
    I've felt this before... I definitely have thought that I don't belong to that special group of fit women, but I realized that the root of that was me feeling like I don't deserve to be healthy (whatever that means). It takes some work to realize that I am doing the right thing and that I see myself in a way that sometimes makes me afraid to work hard at being healthier.

    It took a long time for me to realize how much weight I had gained, so I know it will take some time for my mind to get in sync with how my body actually looks as well. The best thing is to just keep having positive thoughts.
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    I went from a size 20/22 to a 2/4, been this size for almost 3 years and still see myself as chunky. It amazes me when I go into a store and a sales person guesses me as a size 4 is still think of myself as an imposter. I know that it does take the mind time to catch up with the reality and while I at times focus on my muffin-back or my arm wings I do remind myself to have positive thoughts - usually about my workouts or whatever physical challenges I'm working on.
  • dkabambe
    dkabambe Posts: 544 Member
    Ironically I think part of the challenge may be how hard you work to be healthy, whilst feeling like some other people are just naturally like that which is why they deserve to be "in the club" and you're the imposter. Firstly, a lot of those other people do also have to work really hard to stay that way but you just don't see it - in the same way a lot of people don't see the effort you put in to being healthy. Secondly, putting in that work gives you more right, not less, to identify with being a healthy size - this is something you have gone out and earned so recognise that! Unfortunately, that's much easier said than done..
  • Derpy_Hooves
    Derpy_Hooves Posts: 234 Member
    I can relate to this so, so much. I lost the weight in 2011 and still (!) feel like a cheat at times...

    I suppose I'm trying to focus more on the health aspect rather than the being-thin part, but that niggly doubt definitely creeps in every now and then.

    I'm going on a girly trip next weekend and have been going overboard on the green smoothies and the calorie restriction over the last month, because I'm worried about being "the fattest". Went shopping yesterday for the trip and to my surprise (yes, I'm still surprised) I picked up dresses in size S and (UK) 10. So that would definitely be considered slim. Maybe not rake thin but slim anyway.

    Strange thing, the mind. :D

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