Any words of encouragement?

I'm a disgusting (in my opinion) 280 lbs... I have NEVER been able to lose weight, no matter what I've done/do... I seem to only gain weight. I then give up and let myself go all over again.
I believe some of it has to do with my depression and anxiety but I don't know.
I'm just looking for supportive and motivational words and hopefully, friends to help guide me along this crazy, big journey.

Replies

  • charlieandcarol
    charlieandcarol Posts: 302 Member
    You are not disgusting....don't be so mean to yourself... I don't think you would say that about a friend in a similar situation.

    Having said that I completely relate to what you are saying and the problems with depression and anxiety.

    Maybe try to change one little thing each week rather than trying to change everything at once? I am sure you can do it, lots of little changes will add up in the long run. :smiley:
  • AriiLynn
    AriiLynn Posts: 3 Member
    Thank you... So much... I appreciate it. ❤
  • DeterminedBexxx
    DeterminedBexxx Posts: 22 Member
    I also suffer from anxiety, I really do find working out to be my "therapy", find something you actually LOVE, try a group class, get a personal trainer- some one that will push you but also be there for you.
    Food also plays a role, you eat well you feel well...
    Good luck with it all, feel free to add me
  • fattothinmum
    fattothinmum Posts: 218 Member
    Hey you. A lot of us have been there. You're not disgusting, but it's hard for us to understand that when we feel miserable about being overweight. I remember feeling the same and it wasn't until I began to lose, that I realised, fat or thin, I'm the same person, and we're all worth loving ourselves.
  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
    OP, it may seem overwhelming right now. But even if you lose 1 pound a week, think about it, in a year from now you will have lost 50 pounds. Try to look at the weight loss in 10 pound chunks. Focus on losing the next 10 pounds! You can lose 10 pounds! Then when you do be very happy for that and focus on losing the next 10 pounds. You might find it easier than you think! Give yourself a couple months to lose 10 pounds. Be happy with any loss and don't be concerned about little fluctuations. This is about the overall, downward trend over time. It isn't a lose weight quick scam. This is for real and you can do this!
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    Start slow.
    Set up MFP to maintain and just learn how to log. Don't worry about the numbers.
    Get yourself a food scale and start weighing your food.
    Once you are consistent at that decrease your calories.
    Set yourself to lose .5lbs a week. Look at what foods you can eat a little less of or a snack you can skip.
    If you think you can, eventually drop another .5lbs a week, then another.

    As you go along try to make nutritional choices, but don't worry if you can't for everything. The way to success is to eat food that you like.
    Once you are comfortable logging food
    you can try to walk a bit for exercise. It can be around your home, up and down the street, whatever you are comfortable with. Start with a few minutes and build on it slowly.
    Go at your own pace and try to build things into habits that you do each day- just like cleaning your teeth.

    And, you are not disgusting @AriiLynn, you are an atractive young woman. <3

    Cheers, h.
  • janetennet
    janetennet Posts: 143 Member
    Hey OP,
    Yip, it feels overwhelming when first starting out, but it is possible!!

    My advice would be take it one meal at a time.
    Can you eat a good healthy breakfast and track this accurately?
    Can you do the same with your snacks and your lunch?
    Finally can you have a filling, healthy, delicious dinner - the answer to all of these is yes!
    You take control and take the 'wheel' try this for one week and see if you get any results - I tried MFP as a 'doubter' and in my first week I was down 6pounds (!).

    Add me as a friend if you want, I try to comment and like posts for extra motivation.
  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,658 Member
    You say that no matter what you do, you haven't been able to lose weight. If you ate in a caloric deficit you would. Use MFP, weigh and track accurately and I guarantee you will lose weight.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    You are not disgusting. Stop thinking that right now! You just have a situation that seems so huge to you and overwhelming that you think can't be solved. Well your situation can be solved.

    With depression and anxiety I know that is seems like its 1000 miles away but its not. To do this, its about setting mini goals, completing that mini goal and starting another. Before you know it, you will at goal.

    Simply setup MFP with your stats to lose 1 pound per week, eat those calories everyday. If you want to be as accurate as you can during weight loss using MFP, get you a food scale and weigh your food intake that you log.

    This is one day, one week at a time. And remember mini goals. The MFP community is here to help you anytime you need it. :)
  • JenniferNoll
    JenniferNoll Posts: 367 Member
    You are lovely. You are worth this. You deserve good health and to feel good about what you see in the mirror. Weight loss is achievable, and when those first pounds start falling off when you start making better choices, it's like a high.

    Send me a friend request if you like. My journey may be taking a different direction than yours (weight loss surgery in the near future), but I can still be your cheerleader.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    You just have to start and stick with it..

    It was severe anxiety that motivated me to start again here 51 days ago. After eating right ( stabilize blood sugar) working out, doing cardio and lifting (lifting seems to alleviate anxiety more than anything). I am down a size and just the past few days can tell the fat is going away. Last week I was discouraged thinking I wasn't losing. but I stuck to my plan and would not give in to self sabotage.

    side note:

    I have not weighed myself..simply because if it is an excuse to quit when progress isn't shown.

    I'm going to weigh maybe after 75 days.

    I took steps every two to three weeks to improve on my program. Now I'm cooking, eating whole foods. working on nutrition of each thing I put in my mouth. I'm focusing on lifting weights to gain muscle and tone as well as maximizing cards to burn fat.

    When I started I'd never believe I'd make all the changes I have..and I'm sure in the next 50 days I'll make even more.

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  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    edited September 2016
    AriiLynn wrote: »
    I'm a disgusting (in my opinion) 280 lbs... I have NEVER been able to lose weight, no matter what I've done/do... I seem to only gain weight. I then give up and let myself go all over again.
    I believe some of it has to do with my depression and anxiety but I don't know.
    I'm just looking for supportive and motivational words and hopefully, friends to help guide me along this crazy, big journey.

    Your weight is just a number on the scale not your value as a human being.
    Getting to a healthy weight is part of treating yourself well.

    Accept that it will take time to make changes. You don't fail if you have a bad day or week you just look at what happened, see what you can do differently and move on.

    Weight loss is about calories. Start logging your food and working on sticking to a small reasonable deficit. Try for 1 lb a week and see how it goes. If it is too hard try for .5 lb a week for awhile. Don't totally change your diet just start reducing portion sizes.

    When I started it was hard to do a lot of exercises. I ended up doing seated workout videos off of you tube for senior citizens. It wasn't sexy or cool but it was moving. Eventually I was up on my feet and could do more. Do what you can do to begin with. Don't feel like you have to do some trendy intense boot camp workout or run 5 miles today.

    Are you being treated for depression/anxiety? If not get help. This should be step 1 in being healthier.
    If you are an emotional eater really work on developing different tools for dealing with stress and emotions. Meditation, art, music, gardening, cleaning, exercise, knitting, journaling, therapy, medication, etc.
  • somegirlsdo
    somegirlsdo Posts: 37 Member
    I have been (slightly more than) your current weight, depressed, anxious, lonely, feeling unsupported and hopeless before. It's not a nice place to be, but it need not be your permanent reality.

    You are not bad or disgusting or inadequate for having weight to lose. You are just a girl who wants to lose some weight. Body fat is not a moral failing.

    You know they say it takes smokers 5-7 attempts to quit smoking? For a lot of people (certainly for me), losing weight can be like that: You try and fail, try something else and fail, and eventually try something else and make a little bit of progress. Don't give up! Keep trying, and keep looking for *small* achievements and progress that you are able to make. Be sure to give yourself *full credit* for your successes, however small, because large successes are ALL built on a foundation of smaller successes.

    Failure can be discouraging, I do recognize that. But, I hope that you will believe me when I tell you that failure can also be a learning opportunity: When you have a setback, you are ruling out one more "wrong answer", which helps you on your journey to the right answer for you. YOU are not a failure, YOU are a person, and ALL people experience both failures and successes in their lives. It's necessary to go through that process, and both parts of the process will give you more tools to keep in your toolbox.

    As for the friend part, I'm going to add you so I can post encouragement and cheerleading, because having another person recognize your successes can make it easier to recognize them for yourself. Meantime, I really, really hope you are having a better day today.
  • messanayahh
    messanayahh Posts: 2 Member
    edited September 2016
    Dont feel bad i got injured and. Gained a ton of weight....when i started trying to lose weight a month ago i was 309 pounds now im 279 and im not giving up and niether should you remember this is a process and things wont change over night you can do it i know you can! It you want we can be online fitness buddies since we are on the same journey:) keep your head up you ll reach your goal:)i know you will never give up
  • LushFix
    LushFix Posts: 303 Member
    My words of encouragement are:

    Look forward to this journey rather than behind at the past.

    You have made such a a huge step already by coming here and asking for help, celebrate that and yourself!

    You are the only you and that is BEAUTIFUL!

    The weight on the scale is only one piece of you.... there is so much more.

    This may be the hardest, most challenging thing some of us will ever do, we will stumble, we will fall, we will lose and we will gain. But you don't have to do this alone.

    We all have our own personal struggles, but if we truly want this and we work for it our time will come. It may take us months and even years but just keep pushing forward.

    Something pretty tragic happened in my life my world pretty much burned. Was it the worst thing that has ever happened to me? No. But it put my journey on hold and now I am back. The hardest part was just pushing on.

    But my journey didn't end I just picked up the pieces and carried on... most of them just fell into place as I went, the rest I will keep with me as reminders of what I am capable of.


    You got this. One day at a time, one piece at a time.
  • theclaw900
    theclaw900 Posts: 321 Member
    edited September 2016
    I've had a number of friends that have been able to "cut themselves in half" by taking one small step at a time. There's a lot of support here. I've only been here for a short time and I'm swamped with new online friends willing to help.

    Don't even get me going on the depression and anxiety. We all have it in different ways. I've tried them all, high priced shrinks, counselors, some white pills. I keep going back to exercise to help all of that.

    I'd be happy to be your friend here and help when I can.

    Best,
    Jeff
  • allyssabebe
    allyssabebe Posts: 22 Member
    You are absolutely lovely and don't forget how important and special you are!

    Weight loss and diet take time, it's definitely not something overnight. As they say, 4 weeks for you to notice and 8 weeks for others to notice. Keep making small changes in your diet whether it be portion, choosing a healthier option etc! It's a long journey, but one that is well supported and worth it! :)
  • 85Cardinals
    85Cardinals Posts: 733 Member
    edited September 2016
    I weighed 286 in February 2016 and I weigh 230 now. Nothing I did was magic or voodoo. I just hit my mfp numbers every day and walked a little. You could do this do too, with time and patience. And cut yourself some slack now and then. You wouldn't be that mean to a friend trying to better themselves, you'd be supportive and encouraging. Be that way to yourself.
  • HealthyGinny
    HealthyGinny Posts: 821 Member
    The thing with high anxiety is that it can be one of your worst enemy for weightloss and at the same time, weightloss, proper diet & sleep, and exercise can be one of the greatest help in battling anxiety... I have anxiety disorder and it's a constant cycle of periods when I feel good, exercise a lot, regulate my sleep, eat healthy, lose weight and feel 100x better, and then for no reason whatsoever I have "bad" times when my motivation is at the lowest and I'm a hot mess of anxiety and stress and BED (right now for instance). What I learnt during this journey though is that if I keep up with mfp+exercise, even if I'm exceeding my calories during times and even if I binge some days, at the end of the year, I have still lost weight and I still feel better than when I was obese. The good "times" balance the bad. You just have to convince yourself that you're not going to do this thing perfectly every single day but that at the end, if you still put in some good efforts, it WILL pay off. I wish you all the luck and feel free to add me for support :)
  • LAC73167
    LAC73167 Posts: 114 Member
    I was totally in your situation a year ago. Until I changed my mindset and I decided I wanted to be healthy. I didn't concentrate so much on the numbers the weight did start coming off.

    You're a beautiful girl don't be so hard on yourself❤️ once you give yourself a break and strive towards health and watch what you eat - weigh and LOG EVERYTHING you put in you eat. do a little exercise (maybe Walk A little every day adding more distance over time) and I promise you you'll see the weight come off but love yourself first honey. You are amazing ❤️
  • LAC73167
    LAC73167 Posts: 114 Member
    Also, if you feel you really do have depression and or anxiety see a doctor or maybe consider going to therapy to work on your anxiety. You have to work on that as well because that's going to be a hindrance for you trying to get your mindset right. Maybe you could try meditation! there are many YouTube videos (if you don't know how) that can walk you through a guided meditation session. Just an after thought
  • jadefitnow
    jadefitnow Posts: 47 Member
    You're in the right place- we've all felt down, frustrated and self-defeated, and that's what got us here. Give yourself credit for taking a giant first step and reaching out- that's a great start! Now, just keep doing that- one healthy step at a time... they'll add up:-)
  • clicketykeys
    clicketykeys Posts: 6,577 Member
    1. You're not disgusting.
    2. You can do this. Baby steps. You got it :)
    3. Feel free to add!
  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 551 Member
    I'm sorry you've always had to deal with this problem, this should not have been the case in an ideal world.

    What you need to go towards, is being the best version of yourself, that you can be. That's it.

    Small steps. You CAN do it. It IS possible.