frustrating and need to vent momentarily

briabner
briabner Posts: 427 Member
edited September 29 in Health and Weight Loss
So, I need to vent for a moment because I am getting really frustrated....

First off I just want to say that I love my mother dearly but she has been really frustrating me here lately. Whenever I spend time with her, which has been pretty often here lately she always wants to eat out, most of the time at fast food places. For instance I spent the whole day with her and we ate out all 3 meals (bob evans, wendy's, and pizza hut) She then ALWAYS comments if I just opt out of eating, ordering a salad, or just ordering something small. Truth is I dont want to eat out all the time and I am really trying seriously trying to loose weight. I just feel like she is holding me back. Just not quite sure how to handle the situation honestly, I want to spend time with her I just dont want that time spent to be sabotaging my hard work that I am doing.

Replies

  • lazatin
    lazatin Posts: 452 Member
    So sorry to hear that...you have made great progress which i hope she sees. Have you really tried to explain how hard your working? What if you did some cooking together instead or ate at some place like subway....someplace without such yummy sabatoging food. I hope you can work it out.
  • MelodAngel
    MelodAngel Posts: 27
    I have a friend like that. It's super irritating! Just tell her that you are trying really hard, and it makes it harder for you to eat out. She should understand that you are making an effort, and be able to understand. I feel for you! Sometimes its just needing to vent and feel validated that makes us feel better. Just sit her down and be honest in an easy going way :) If she wants you to be healthy, she will want you to take care of yourself. Great job!
  • meljr66
    meljr66 Posts: 29 Member
    I feel your pain! My family seems to bond only over food, which explains why we all have weight problems. You have to continue to make healthy choices for yourself and let the comments slide. Maybe your new lifestyle will begin to rub off on your mom...
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,075 Member
    You may just have to stand up to your mother and simply say exactly what you just said here... that you want to spend time with her but it is sabotaging your efforts.

    If she refuses to change the way she wants to eat (which is highly possible and should be expected) then just pack you a small cooler with some food items you want to eat (your salad, your fruit, a sandwich) and take it with you when you go out to eat.

    Some remarked on my blog that doing this is "obnoxious, alienating" etc... but what I say to them is... it is my body, everything I put in it is a choice, and I have results because I did what I did.

    Take care of YOU first and if that means bringing your own food, then so be it. If this causes more tension between you and your mother... then you may have to start limiting your visits.
  • heathergettingfit
    heathergettingfit Posts: 56
    It is tough when you feel as if you are the only one who is trying to eat healthier. Next time you might try bringing a meal to her that you prepared that is healthy, flavorful and satisfying. Also, sometimes just having an honest conversation with a loved one can help the situation. Be sure to let her know that you are trying to avoid places that sabotage your new lifestyle (i.e. fast food) and have a list of healthier alternatives. There are many places you can eat out by first checking out their online nutrition information. Also, don't be afraid to ask for things on the side or for substitutions. I think that many times our aging parents find it easier to eat out, especially if they live alone. There is no reason you can't still participate in this with her by having a plan before you go.

    My husband and I ate at Olive Garden last night. I checked the nutrition info online before we left the house. This allowed me to make wise choices (ex: eating only one bread stick).
  • Taliko
    Taliko Posts: 82 Member
    My husband and I ate at Olive Garden last night. I checked the nutrition info online before we left the house. This allowed me to make wise choices (ex: eating only one bread stick).

    I do this. If there absolutely is no other way to avoid eating out, make sure you are informed on what is REALLY in the foods in the places you eat. knowing what's in some of those things makes them so much less appealing.

    Also-- I feel your pain. I love my mom dearly but I swear sometimes it feels like she's purposely sabotaging me.

    Plus some of these places have ok salad choices.... but imo the dressing is usually just HORRID... go easy..
  • wokandroll88
    wokandroll88 Posts: 20 Member
    My mom does the EXACT same thing. I lost weight before I was 185 and I went down to 155. I started college and every day after class (I go 2-4 days a week depending on the semester) she would take me out for fast food. A year later, I joined this site at 203. Yet, she blames me for her gaining weight (she's always been big.)

    Any time I would say, "I'm going on a diet" the next day without fail she'd bring me a burger, fries, drink from a fast food place.

    I start school again in late August, and I went ahead and printed out a few fast food options that aren't insane in calories (Taco Bell Fresco menu having the most choices.)

    You are doing the right thing by ordering a salad or something small because just the small or medium fries at Wendy's or anywhere is 200-450 calories. Keep up the good work :)
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