Put-downs

martin6609
martin6609 Posts: 5 Member
edited December 3 in Motivation and Support
Been struggling lately with negative remarks regarding my weight loss. I was never a big girl but I am training for my first half marathon. what started as a clean eat and exercise challenge for 60 days turned into a lifestyle changes with long term goals like races. I'm down almost 30 lbs and feel great my BMI is within normal range for my height and weight, but the negative responses and comments are really starting to get to me. How do I stay positive and focused??

Replies

  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    Give people time to adjust to how you look now. You got to gradually see the changes and they didn't. When someone says something negative let them know that it bothers you and ask why they would want to discourage you from making healthy choices. Sometimes people don't realize they are hurting you when they are just concerned. If the comments don't stop after a while you may want to consider if what they are saying has any truth to it.
  • Habiteer
    Habiteer Posts: 190 Member
    If these people matter to you then try to explain it once or twice to them, let them know it works and that you have plans and goals that you're trying to achieve. Let them know how far you've come and how far you're going to go.

    If they don't matter, just ignore them.

    Just remember, haters gonna hate. Can't change that.
  • ale527
    ale527 Posts: 95 Member
    Just remember what you're doing is for you, not for them. Like above posters say, if they are important to you, tell it to them straight but otherwise keep up the good work and you'll make your goals happen!
  • shadowfax_c11
    shadowfax_c11 Posts: 1,942 Member
    edited September 2016
    Changing yourself also includes some changes in your associations. I know when I started making positive changes in my one life I lost a lot of friends because we just had nothing in common anymore. I even had a friend tell me she didn't like the new me. She isn't a friend anymore. This was before I started working on my weight.

    People are very resistant to change. Even when the changes are good.

    You might need to just let those friends go and find new ones that have more common interests with your new self.
  • rickc74
    rickc74 Posts: 416 Member
    What kind of negative comments are you getting? I don't think I've had anything but supportive ones while I've been losing. Negative comments about healthy choices sounds messed up. As mentioned above, you may not need those people in your life.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    Yeah, what do you mean by "negative comments"? I think sometimes I can be overly sensitive to what people say. Mostly people want to help. If they are being mean ignore them.

    Whoever invents a brain to mouth inhibiting device will make a fortune.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    edited September 2016
    what kind of negative comments...I never had any...a lot of people josh with me about "trying to live forever" or "there he goes on his bike again" or whatever...I don't really care...I'm lean, healthy, and fit and highly capable...most of them are fat *kitten* who couldn't get around the block...why would I care what they thought?

    I'd also say that after four years of this stuff, I find myself with more fitness oriented friends than I used to have...my circle of friends has changed quite a bit.
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
    This is actually fairly common from what I've read elsewhere. I still have an obese BMI and I'm starting to get "Don't lose too much, you're getting too skinny." You know you're healthy and doing great things for yourself.
  • martin6609
    martin6609 Posts: 5 Member
    Negative as in... one was "wow ur so thin, like a skeleton hahaha Just in time for halloween". And your right I do have a tendency to be super sensitive... and from close friends constructive criticism is welcomed but when u hear it ever all times in a day it's disheartening. To ppl tht are just meeting me they don't think anything about it. But others... yes, some are friends, like I said I wasn't super big but I am 5'8 and w
    as 159... lol now I'm done to 130 I feel amazing and yah I'm thinner but sometimes I want to punch ppl in there necks... I don't walk around saying wow, your fat, it goes both ways. When your heating healthy ND running everyday like a cheetah, extra just falls off.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    Well, that wasn't probably meant as an insult. Some people think they are funnier than they really are.

    5'9" and 130 is very thin, though. Just ignore them, if they are strangers they need to stay that way - that's the way I work it.
  • martin6609
    martin6609 Posts: 5 Member
    And I agree, my circle of friends has changed a lot. My priorities are waaaayyy different. This is such a wonderful place to vent and get insight. thank u all so much for your posts it is greatly appreciated. :)
  • fattothinmum
    fattothinmum Posts: 218 Member
    I often get comments about being slim at my age, and I don't know how lucky I am. Always from people who didn't know me as the morbidly obese and highly unfit and miserable person I was before losing it. They know nothing, and I no longer enlighten them. I let them do them and I carry on being so 'lucky'.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited September 2016
    5ft8 and 130lbs is very thin, so I'm not surprised people are making comments - they're probably trying to show concern but not sure how to say it.

    OP are you male?
  • the0cuteness
    the0cuteness Posts: 7 Member
    I had this same experience. It really upset me. I was shocked at the negative comments people made to me, when I thought I looked awesome and was in the best shape of my life. Now I realize it is common for this to happen. I just read a book called Funeral for my Fat, and the same thing happened to her. Reading that it wasn't just me made me feel better.
  • clatham377
    clatham377 Posts: 2 Member
    I just realized I have lost all my patience! I read all the responses and thought, "wow, these people are nice...I would have told whoever was being negative to either f* off or bite my a** ". Depending on who they were. I don't know if that is good or bad....
  • pineapple_peach10
    pineapple_peach10 Posts: 239 Member
    I agree with the above posts. Whenever I would get negative comments it was always from people with jealousy issues.

    You are doing great, don't let other people's negativity discourage you :)
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,454 Member
    clatham377 wrote: »
    I just realized I have lost all my patience! I read all the responses and thought, "wow, these people are nice...I would have told whoever was being negative to either f* off or bite my a** ". Depending on who they were. I don't know if that is good or bad....

    But then it would be a big blowup and you'd have to get even more engaged with that person. If I just ignore them and walk away it's over.

    I'm all about protecting my peaceful frame of mind.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    Remember, people who criticize you for being healthy are really talking about themselves. Pity them, not you.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,333 Member
    It amazes me that grown people can be so rude and thoughtless. Many things are going on..

    1. you look different...and the simple mind says simple stupid stuff out loud. it is almost like the human mind wants things to stay the same or there is some kind of upset. I had a friend who lost a lot of weight and got down to his healthy bmi for his height. I have to say i thought he looked bad..simply because I wasn't used to him looking so different. I wanted my old friend back. Now that he has kept that weight for five years.. he looks just fine to me now. It was my problem of adjusting to someone close to me changing. Thank goodness i kept my comments to myself!

    2. jealously... plain and simple if you're a woman and it is your sister...best "friends"...or work colleagues.. they're green with envy that you're three sizes smaller.

    3. If the scale says you're too thin for your height.. then you might listen to negative talk.. if it isn't.. come here for support..and ignore the comments.
  • martin6609
    martin6609 Posts: 5 Member
    edited September 2016
    5'8 and 130 falls under normal bmi for a female .. and a few times I have lost my cool for real. At times it took everything I had to keep from saying mean things that I think aloud. I already lack filter. But yes, in one instance.... the F bomb came out! Thanks for all the positive insight :)
  • martin6609
    martin6609 Posts: 5 Member
    How do i make it so this is easier to find.... I m fairly new to this. Is there. a way to recieve notification of comments or easier too find ... sorry I'm off behind lol
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