Put-downs
martin6609
Posts: 5 Member
Been struggling lately with negative remarks regarding my weight loss. I was never a big girl but I am training for my first half marathon. what started as a clean eat and exercise challenge for 60 days turned into a lifestyle changes with long term goals like races. I'm down almost 30 lbs and feel great my BMI is within normal range for my height and weight, but the negative responses and comments are really starting to get to me. How do I stay positive and focused??
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Replies
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Give people time to adjust to how you look now. You got to gradually see the changes and they didn't. When someone says something negative let them know that it bothers you and ask why they would want to discourage you from making healthy choices. Sometimes people don't realize they are hurting you when they are just concerned. If the comments don't stop after a while you may want to consider if what they are saying has any truth to it.3
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If these people matter to you then try to explain it once or twice to them, let them know it works and that you have plans and goals that you're trying to achieve. Let them know how far you've come and how far you're going to go.
If they don't matter, just ignore them.
Just remember, haters gonna hate. Can't change that.1 -
A lot of it is just jealousy. They can't do it themselves so they want you to fail. Just ignore them, do what is right for you.6
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Just remember what you're doing is for you, not for them. Like above posters say, if they are important to you, tell it to them straight but otherwise keep up the good work and you'll make your goals happen!3
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Changing yourself also includes some changes in your associations. I know when I started making positive changes in my one life I lost a lot of friends because we just had nothing in common anymore. I even had a friend tell me she didn't like the new me. She isn't a friend anymore. This was before I started working on my weight.
People are very resistant to change. Even when the changes are good.
You might need to just let those friends go and find new ones that have more common interests with your new self.3 -
What kind of negative comments are you getting? I don't think I've had anything but supportive ones while I've been losing. Negative comments about healthy choices sounds messed up. As mentioned above, you may not need those people in your life.2
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Yeah, what do you mean by "negative comments"? I think sometimes I can be overly sensitive to what people say. Mostly people want to help. If they are being mean ignore them.
Whoever invents a brain to mouth inhibiting device will make a fortune.2 -
what kind of negative comments...I never had any...a lot of people josh with me about "trying to live forever" or "there he goes on his bike again" or whatever...I don't really care...I'm lean, healthy, and fit and highly capable...most of them are fat *kitten* who couldn't get around the block...why would I care what they thought?
I'd also say that after four years of this stuff, I find myself with more fitness oriented friends than I used to have...my circle of friends has changed quite a bit.1 -
This is actually fairly common from what I've read elsewhere. I still have an obese BMI and I'm starting to get "Don't lose too much, you're getting too skinny." You know you're healthy and doing great things for yourself.3
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Negative as in... one was "wow ur so thin, like a skeleton hahaha Just in time for halloween". And your right I do have a tendency to be super sensitive... and from close friends constructive criticism is welcomed but when u hear it ever all times in a day it's disheartening. To ppl tht are just meeting me they don't think anything about it. But others... yes, some are friends, like I said I wasn't super big but I am 5'8 and w
as 159... lol now I'm done to 130 I feel amazing and yah I'm thinner but sometimes I want to punch ppl in there necks... I don't walk around saying wow, your fat, it goes both ways. When your heating healthy ND running everyday like a cheetah, extra just falls off.2 -
Well, that wasn't probably meant as an insult. Some people think they are funnier than they really are.
5'9" and 130 is very thin, though. Just ignore them, if they are strangers they need to stay that way - that's the way I work it.1 -
And I agree, my circle of friends has changed a lot. My priorities are waaaayyy different. This is such a wonderful place to vent and get insight. thank u all so much for your posts it is greatly appreciated.
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If it ever happens on a long run day just tell them, "you're totally right, you should buy me a big dinner". That way you're saving money and making nagging nancies feel better about themselves. They don't have to know you want to slap them a little.5
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I often get comments about being slim at my age, and I don't know how lucky I am. Always from people who didn't know me as the morbidly obese and highly unfit and miserable person I was before losing it. They know nothing, and I no longer enlighten them. I let them do them and I carry on being so 'lucky'.2
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5ft8 and 130lbs is very thin, so I'm not surprised people are making comments - they're probably trying to show concern but not sure how to say it.
OP are you male?1 -
I had this same experience. It really upset me. I was shocked at the negative comments people made to me, when I thought I looked awesome and was in the best shape of my life. Now I realize it is common for this to happen. I just read a book called Funeral for my Fat, and the same thing happened to her. Reading that it wasn't just me made me feel better.1
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I just realized I have lost all my patience! I read all the responses and thought, "wow, these people are nice...I would have told whoever was being negative to either f* off or bite my a** ". Depending on who they were. I don't know if that is good or bad....2
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I agree with the above posts. Whenever I would get negative comments it was always from people with jealousy issues.
You are doing great, don't let other people's negativity discourage you 0 -
clatham377 wrote: »I just realized I have lost all my patience! I read all the responses and thought, "wow, these people are nice...I would have told whoever was being negative to either f* off or bite my a** ". Depending on who they were. I don't know if that is good or bad....
But then it would be a big blowup and you'd have to get even more engaged with that person. If I just ignore them and walk away it's over.
I'm all about protecting my peaceful frame of mind.0 -
Remember, people who criticize you for being healthy are really talking about themselves. Pity them, not you.1
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It amazes me that grown people can be so rude and thoughtless. Many things are going on..
1. you look different...and the simple mind says simple stupid stuff out loud. it is almost like the human mind wants things to stay the same or there is some kind of upset. I had a friend who lost a lot of weight and got down to his healthy bmi for his height. I have to say i thought he looked bad..simply because I wasn't used to him looking so different. I wanted my old friend back. Now that he has kept that weight for five years.. he looks just fine to me now. It was my problem of adjusting to someone close to me changing. Thank goodness i kept my comments to myself!
2. jealously... plain and simple if you're a woman and it is your sister...best "friends"...or work colleagues.. they're green with envy that you're three sizes smaller.
3. If the scale says you're too thin for your height.. then you might listen to negative talk.. if it isn't.. come here for support..and ignore the comments.4 -
5'8 and 130 falls under normal bmi for a female .. and a few times I have lost my cool for real. At times it took everything I had to keep from saying mean things that I think aloud. I already lack filter. But yes, in one instance.... the F bomb came out! Thanks for all the positive insight 0
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How do i make it so this is easier to find.... I m fairly new to this. Is there. a way to recieve notification of comments or easier too find ... sorry I'm off behind lol0
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