Dating & weight gain

Damien_K
Damien_K Posts: 783 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have found myself in a very compromising position by dating a girl that loves to bake and spoil me with food. So much that I have gained over 4kgs in the last few weeks...YIKES!

I feel conflicted on whether or not I should tell her to ease down on all the treats or if I should just enjoy it while it lasts. This is the first girl ever to make me breakfast in bed, packs me lunch and make sure I am well fed before I roll off to bed...felt truly disgusted with myself this morning knowing I had 4 slices of cheesecake in bed last night! This got to end!

So, any words of wisdom that can be bestowed upon me on dealing with this delicate situation?
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Replies

  • Ignite_
    Ignite_ Posts: 19 Member
    Count yourself lucky for finding such a woman
  • Chrisjuvers
    Chrisjuvers Posts: 2,692 Member
    If someone made me all that food everyday, I'd totally marry them. I know, I'm easily impressed but I hate to cook.
  • olymp1a
    olymp1a Posts: 1,766 Member
    It's really awesome having someone that takes care of you like this. However if you feel bad about gaining weight, or disgusted for eating so much I'd say talk to her. Explain her that you love how she cooks and bakes for you and you really enjoy everything she's making (well if you didn't you wouldn't gain weight) but ask her if it possible to make smaller portions so you can control better how much you eat.
    Being someone who really enjoys pampering my S.O. with baked goods and homemade food I can assure you that this is probably the best way to go. :smile:
  • GrahamHorganOnline
    GrahamHorganOnline Posts: 25 Member
    Hey man. I totally understand where you`re coming from. When i first met my girlfriend 3 years ago. She always cooked for me and always insisted. You know, mouth watering foods in large portions. Definitely not something that would be on a diet. You`re very lucky, as so was I. But lets face it. Food lets us show our love to our loved ones. It might be a little hard for her to hear when you tell her that you need to stop this. OR just cut down. That`s your choice. But of course you`re not trying to hurt her feeling, we all know that. But I know THAT feeling so well of waking up and seeing the weight you gained. Thinking about everything you ate. And you ask yourself, what just happened?? You don`t want to keep feeling like this. So just tell her. And let her know how gaining weight is effecting you mentality and physically. You can then come to an agreement with her. Whether to cut back on the portions. Or stop it. Or even have 1-2 meals together a week of anything you want..

    Good luck man. I feel for you.
  • pbandwine
    pbandwine Posts: 1,236 Member
    Just be honest and tell her. If you have a good relationship with her, she'll understand. If she wants to cook for you, she can switch to healthier options.
  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 693 Member
    I've been in your ladies shoes, and I assure you she will understand if you just ask for smaller portions and explain it. Admittedly, it will most likely take a good deal of reminding (I still need reminders that the portions I'm giving out are too big years later), but I cant imagine she'll take it personally. Just make sure you let her know you appreciate her, but you would prefer smaller portions and some things to be kept as special treats because the foods she is feeding you are so delicious you are gaining too much weight.
  • Geeky_and_Cheeky
    Geeky_and_Cheeky Posts: 493 Member
    I'd say just tell her you're cutting back and smaller portions. Like 1 slice of cheesecake instead of 4! She'll understand!
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    She sounds like a great woman! But maybe you can share with her your fitness goals and then she'll make you healthier goodies.

    A good friend of mine gained 50 pounds when she started dated her BF last year :(
  • 44to44
    44to44 Posts: 896 Member
    I *love* to bake. And I love nothing more than seeing someone I've baked for *really* appreciate it. But I don't expect anyone to eat 4 slices of cheesecake, no matter how awesome it is (and it is, believe me). It's all in how you frame it - if you tell her her baking is so irresistible you cannot control your portion sizes, and could she please just do it a bit less frequently, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to oblige.
  • jordyngiulio
    jordyngiulio Posts: 157 Member
    Have you talked at all about your eating preferences/life style? I personally love to cook and bake, especially for my significant other and that being said, I also love to find new recipes and challenges. If you talk to her, she might actually be excited to branch out and try making new things that fit your goals better.

    I was lucky that both my bf and I love to eat healthy and generally follow a paleo eating plan so I loved finding new recipes, healthier substitutes and cooking became a joint project. She sounds like an incredible woman and I'm sure she'd be totally on board if you let her in on your concerns
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  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    44to44 wrote: »
    I *love* to bake. And I love nothing more than seeing someone I've baked for *really* appreciate it. But I don't expect anyone to eat 4 slices of cheesecake, no matter how awesome it is (and it is, believe me). It's all in how you frame it - if you tell her her baking is so irresistible you cannot control your portion sizes, and could she please just do it a bit less frequently, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to oblige.

    I think maybe that you simply rock.
  • MsAmandaNJ
    MsAmandaNJ Posts: 1,248 Member
    Please let her know. I bake like crazy if someone doesn't reign me in. My husband told me in a polite and loving way that I was just producing too much, so I really cut back baked goods to once a month as opposed to a couple of times a week. It was just the two of us eating it and I can identify with his lack of control. Honesty is totally appreciated.
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  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    edited September 2016
    I was the opposite of her.
    When I used to bake all the time I was very protective to make sure I pretty much got the whole pan of brownies.

    Alas, here I am ;)
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    @44to44 wrote: »
    I *love* to bake. And I love nothing more than seeing someone I've baked for *really* appreciate it. But I don't expect anyone to eat 4 slices of cheesecake, no matter how awesome it is (and it is, believe me). It's all in how you frame it - if you tell her her baking is so irresistible you cannot control your portion sizes, and could she please just do it a bit less frequently, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to oblige.

    Is this really about food?

    yes?
  • 44to44
    44to44 Posts: 896 Member
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    @44to44 wrote: »
    I *love* to bake. And I love nothing more than seeing someone I've baked for *really* appreciate it. But I don't expect anyone to eat 4 slices of cheesecake, no matter how awesome it is (and it is, believe me). It's all in how you frame it - if you tell her her baking is so irresistible you cannot control your portion sizes, and could she please just do it a bit less frequently, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to oblige.

    Is this really about food?

    Unfortunately, yes. No one is interested in anything other than my actual baking.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    44to44 wrote: »
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    @44to44 wrote: »
    I *love* to bake. And I love nothing more than seeing someone I've baked for *really* appreciate it. But I don't expect anyone to eat 4 slices of cheesecake, no matter how awesome it is (and it is, believe me). It's all in how you frame it - if you tell her her baking is so irresistible you cannot control your portion sizes, and could she please just do it a bit less frequently, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to oblige.

    Is this really about food?

    Unfortunately, yes. No one is interested in anything other than my actual baking.

    Ha, based solely on the pretty girl I see as your avatar, I must beg to differ.
  • 44to44
    44to44 Posts: 896 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    44to44 wrote: »
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    @44to44 wrote: »
    I *love* to bake. And I love nothing more than seeing someone I've baked for *really* appreciate it. But I don't expect anyone to eat 4 slices of cheesecake, no matter how awesome it is (and it is, believe me). It's all in how you frame it - if you tell her her baking is so irresistible you cannot control your portion sizes, and could she please just do it a bit less frequently, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to oblige.

    Is this really about food?

    Unfortunately, yes. No one is interested in anything other than my actual baking.

    Ha, based solely on the pretty girl I see as your avatar, I must beg to differ.

    Then it must be my terrible personality. :#
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  • 44to44
    44to44 Posts: 896 Member
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    44to44 wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    44to44 wrote: »
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    @44to44 wrote: »
    I *love* to bake. And I love nothing more than seeing someone I've baked for *really* appreciate it. But I don't expect anyone to eat 4 slices of cheesecake, no matter how awesome it is (and it is, believe me). It's all in how you frame it - if you tell her her baking is so irresistible you cannot control your portion sizes, and could she please just do it a bit less frequently, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to oblige.

    Is this really about food?

    Unfortunately, yes. No one is interested in anything other than my actual baking.

    Ha, based solely on the pretty girl I see as your avatar, I must beg to differ.

    Then it must be my terrible personality. :#

    could be that negative attitude ;)

    Well that's part of my terrible personality. Duh!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member

    dunno, I could tolerate a lot of negativity



    .......with a big plate of brownies as a diversion
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    She sounds awesome. Have a conversation and be positive about it. Explain that you love her cooking and appreciate the attention but also that if you just keep eating and gaining weight it's gonna suck for both of you. so if she switches to cooking healthier foods and smaller portions, you can head that off at the pass before you turn into a couple of beach balls lol. I cook healthy and delicious foods for Husband all the time.

    Now f I could just get him not to do big midnight pigouts on super fattening things that he buys and stashes around the kitchen, sigh.
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    Dump her and date me. I hate cooking. See....I'd be good for your diet!
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  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    Don't even bother. All women do is ruin your goals anyway so if it's not this...it will be another thing.

    the gift that keeps on giving...
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,332 Member
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    Don't even bother. All women do is ruin your goals anyway so if it's not this...it will be another thing.

    Haven't seen our friend around lately...
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  • 44to44
    44to44 Posts: 896 Member
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    Don't even bother. All women do is ruin your goals anyway so if it's not this...it will be another thing.

    Speaking of negative attitudes...
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    44to44 wrote: »
    GnothiSeauton23 wrote: »
    Don't even bother. All women do is ruin your goals anyway so if it's not this...it will be another thing.

    Speaking of negative attitudes...


    it's okay, it's an inside joke; he's just clowning






    ...a little

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