Being Overweight and Getting better treatment Once You choose a Healthy Option at Places to Eat?

fitforeternity493
fitforeternity493 Posts: 37 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
My experience with being in a transition period of losing weight (you've lost some weight) while being technically overweight is this: I have literally gone into places to eat with my BF and ask for the "healthy option" or "vegetarian option" and am treated better because of it. Like really? I'm always polite mind you. How do you explain this occurrence? I find it odd to say the least. It's like the thin waiter or waitress sees that I'm chubby and if I order healthy they breathe a sign of relief.. Kinda makes me feel like they're thinking the following " She's overweight and ordering the healthy option thank goodness, otherwise if she ordered anything else I'd have no respect"... I don't think I'm far off.. I mean usually I'm met with a friendlier attitude when I order my meal and it happens to be a healthy option..

So you tell me if this is odd or if do work in the food industry how do you explain this occurrence?

Replies

  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    edited September 2016
    I believe that they're exposed to the consequences, of overeating more so than even; an overweight person is in 1 way or another. How many times a day do you believe, they have to watch someone get stuck & struggle to get in and/or out, of a booth? How many times a day, do you believe that 1 overweight person, has to deal with; that particular situation themselves? I doubt it's as many times, as the waiter/waitress witnesses! So I understand their relief, when they view someone; trying to avoid that potential occurrence.
  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    I believe that they're exposed to the consequences, of overeating more so than even; an overweight person is in 1 way or another. How many times a day do you believe, they have to watch someone get stuck & struggle to get in and/or out, of a booth? How many times a day, do you believe that 1 overweight person, has to deal with; that particular situation themselves? I doubt it's as many times, as the waiter/waitress witnesses! So I understand their relief, when they view someone; trying to avoid that situation.

    I'm not really sure why they would care, though. The fat person struggling to get out of the booth may feel breathless, ashamed, and embarrassed; what does the waiter/waitress care? For all you know, they might be laughing behind their hands at the person who is struggling. Unfortunately, that's always my first impression when I have any sort of embarrassing public moment; that people are laughing at me. It might just be my anxiety talking, though.

    To the OP... Well, human nature is weird. It might be respect on the part of the waiter/waitress, thinking to themselves, "Hey, go you! Trying to get healthier!" because it's more rare for it to happen and it catches their attention and they sort of "cheer you on" through their kinder treatment somehow. When you order one of the regular things, they might just be using their "normal" manner, i.e. not really caring at all.
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    edited September 2016
    Susieq_1994 wrote: »
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    I believe that they're exposed to the consequences, of overeating more so than even; an overweight person is in 1 way or another. How many times a day do you believe, they have to watch someone get stuck & struggle to get in and/or out, of a booth? How many times a day, do you believe that 1 overweight person, has to deal with; that particular situation themselves? I doubt it's as many times, as the waiter/waitress witnesses! So I understand their relief, when they view someone; trying to avoid that situation.

    I'm not really sure why they would care, though. The fat person struggling to get out of the booth may feel breathless, ashamed, and embarrassed; what does the waiter/waitress care? For all you know, they might be laughing behind their hands at the person who is struggling. Unfortunately, that's always my first impression when I have any sort of embarrassing public moment; that people are laughing at me. It might just be my anxiety talking, though.

    Since I am not like this, my comment is how; it'd be for me! I don't laugh at people whom stumble, etc., I try to help them instead!

    Susieq_1994 wrote: »
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    I believe that they're exposed to the consequences, of overeating more so than even; an overweight person is in 1 way or another. How many times a day do you believe, they have to watch someone get stuck & struggle to get in and/or out, of a booth? How many times a day, do you believe that 1 overweight person, has to deal with; that particular situation themselves? I doubt it's as many times, as the waiter/waitress witnesses! So I understand their relief, when they view someone; trying to avoid that situation.

    To the OP... Well, human nature is weird. It might be respect on the part of the waiter/waitress, thinking to themselves, "Hey, go you! Trying to get healthier!" because it's more rare for it to happen and it catches their attention and they sort of "cheer you on" through their kinder treatment somehow. When you order one of the regular things, they might just be using their "normal" manner, i.e. not really caring at all.

    I agree with this because this is how, I'd be also!
  • MsAmandaNJ
    MsAmandaNJ Posts: 1,248 Member
    Susieq_1994 wrote: »
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    I believe that they're exposed to the consequences, of overeating more so than even; an overweight person is in 1 way or another. How many times a day do you believe, they have to watch someone get stuck & struggle to get in and/or out, of a booth? How many times a day, do you believe that 1 overweight person, has to deal with; that particular situation themselves? I doubt it's as many times, as the waiter/waitress witnesses! So I understand their relief, when they view someone; trying to avoid that situation.

    I'm not really sure why they would care, though. The fat person struggling to get out of the booth may feel breathless, ashamed, and embarrassed; what does the waiter/waitress care? For all you know, they might be laughing behind their hands at the person who is struggling. Unfortunately, that's always my first impression when I have any sort of embarrassing public moment; that people are laughing at me. It might just be my anxiety talking, though.

    To the OP... Well, human nature is weird. It might be respect on the part of the waiter/waitress, thinking to themselves, "Hey, go you! Trying to get healthier!" because it's more rare for it to happen and it catches their attention and they sort of "cheer you on" through their kinder treatment somehow. When you order one of the regular things, they might just be using their "normal" manner, i.e. not really caring at all.

    Perhaps they don't want to see another human being going through that struggle, shame, and embarrassment. That's what they care about. If it is their character to laugh at that and to not have any sympathy, why would you care what they thought? I see a fat cat waddle and I feel terrible, seeing kids do the same makes me feel worse because I know some of the struggle they'll face.
  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    edited September 2016
    fitforeternity493 wrote: »
    My experience with being in a transition period of losing weight (you've lost some weight) while being technically overweight is this: I have literally gone into places to eat with my BF and ask for the "healthy option" or "vegetarian option" and am treated better because of it. Like really? I'm always polite mind you. How do you explain this occurrence? I find it odd to say the least. It's like the thin waiter or waitress sees that I'm chubby and if I order healthy they breathe a sign of relief.. Kinda makes me feel like they're thinking the following " She's overweight and ordering the healthy option thank goodness, otherwise if she ordered anything else I'd have no respect"... I don't think I'm far off.. I mean usually I'm met with a friendlier attitude when I order my meal and it happens to be a healthy option..

    So you tell me if this is odd or if do work in the food industry how do you explain this occurrence?

    I'm a vegetarian in a meat & potatoes/burger small town. There just aren't a lot of places with options for me, other than oatmeal or a salad or a greasy cheese sandwich. We have one good Asian restaurant but a drunk plowed onto the building, so it's closed for repairs. :(

    I couldn't guess in general what servers are thinking -- they're all different weights themselves. It could be respect from one person. I always wonder if I'm being a pain for making requests.

    Maybe it's just being friendly or chatty? I've told a few waiters "I have a medical problem so no cheese or butter please" and they've been very nice about it.
  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
    MsAmandaNJ wrote: »
    Susieq_1994 wrote: »
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    I believe that they're exposed to the consequences, of overeating more so than even; an overweight person is in 1 way or another. How many times a day do you believe, they have to watch someone get stuck & struggle to get in and/or out, of a booth? How many times a day, do you believe that 1 overweight person, has to deal with; that particular situation themselves? I doubt it's as many times, as the waiter/waitress witnesses! So I understand their relief, when they view someone; trying to avoid that situation.

    I'm not really sure why they would care, though. The fat person struggling to get out of the booth may feel breathless, ashamed, and embarrassed; what does the waiter/waitress care? For all you know, they might be laughing behind their hands at the person who is struggling. Unfortunately, that's always my first impression when I have any sort of embarrassing public moment; that people are laughing at me. It might just be my anxiety talking, though.

    To the OP... Well, human nature is weird. It might be respect on the part of the waiter/waitress, thinking to themselves, "Hey, go you! Trying to get healthier!" because it's more rare for it to happen and it catches their attention and they sort of "cheer you on" through their kinder treatment somehow. When you order one of the regular things, they might just be using their "normal" manner, i.e. not really caring at all.

    Perhaps they don't want to see another human being going through that struggle, shame, and embarrassment. That's what they care about. If it is their character to laugh at that and to not have any sympathy, why would you care what they thought? I see a fat cat waddle and I feel terrible, seeing kids do the same makes me feel worse because I know some of the struggle they'll face.

    That's how I would feel about it too. I guess I just have a very negative outlook on the way the rest of the world reacts to things. :)
  • fitforeternity493
    fitforeternity493 Posts: 37 Member
    I generally don't care what people think but I do care when I go places with my Best friend whom is also overweight and she gets met with a cold distant attitude and I'm always asked if everything is okay.. Generally I have to remind my server that my best friend would like something more to drink and that solves the issue. She never orders the healthy option but why should that matter.. We are there to eat the food and leave.. It's not like we are struggling to get out from the booths and can't run.. We are both tall 5'9 females that just look chunky or chubby as some would say we aren't obese. We are both always well groomed and styled as well.

    But why should I get better treatment just based off what I put into my mouth? Shouldn't a server be polite 90% of the time and ensure that both people dinning together get their drink refilled and check on both not just one person? As long as both people dinning together are polite and anyone dinning anywhere is polite.

    I do live in a highly health oriented city where it gets cold and snows.. The majority of waiters or waitresses here are either thin or HWP..



  • fitforeternity493
    fitforeternity493 Posts: 37 Member
    edited September 2016
    ..
    newmeadow wrote: »
    fitforeternity493 wrote: »
    if do work in the food industry how do you explain this occurrence?

    Since the 1990s, there's been a trend, especially in the corporate megachains of American restaurants to hire servers under the age of 30. This is also true for restaurants who specialize in serving liquor and have their busiest hours after 10 p.m. Also, in larger U.S. cities, again, there's a lot of age discrimination when it comes to hiring servers. They like 'em young and beautiful, and that can foster an attitude problem like the potential one you describe.

    Look around and make sure the restaurants you frequent have an equal distribution of youngster and oldsters working as servers. That will tell you a lot about the restaurant. Mature adults who work as servers are supporting themselves and their families working in restaurants. They're not there to earn some spending money while in college or save up to get drunk at Spring break in Florida. They're there to make as much money as possible, over the long haul, which means being polite, cordial and accommodating with ALL customers.

    I do live in a college area and the places I go to eat are usually by the college campuses.. And generally the people working are people under 30.
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
    edited September 2016
    How does one read the mind of a waiter or waitress? How can you possibly know what they're thinking?
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Someone is projecting their own feelings on others, methinks. Not to say there isn't judgement that happens, unfortunately, but I would not think it happens more often than not.
  • fitforeternity493
    fitforeternity493 Posts: 37 Member
    edited September 2016
    J_Surita3 wrote: »
    How does one read the mind of a waiter or waitress? How can you possibly know what they're thinking?

    I'm not a mind reader. However, it's all in tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions.. 9 times out of 10 I'm met with a cold stare along with my best friend until we order our food. I order healthy that's when the cold stare/ tone of voice becomes one of warmth and smiles, meanwhile they ignore my best friend and roll their eyes when she orders her food. It's a sad thing to witness.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    IDK...personally, I think this is all in your head. I worked in the food industry for years and was only interested in one thing...my tip...I wasn't going to go out of my way to be snotty to someone who ordered a *kitten* sandwich vs a salad...all the same to me...I just wanted my money so I could pay the rent and buy food.
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