Lost a lot of pounds, but then lost motivation.

irjeffb
irjeffb Posts: 275 Member
edited December 3 in Health and Weight Loss
I started my MFP journey several years ago with a group I worked with, and lost over 100 pounds. However, after leaving my job (and being home more now with family, etc.), I've found that I just don't have the motivation that I used to, and I've gained 50+ pounds back.

I don't need advice on WHAT to do; I know exactly what it takes. But what do you do to stay motivated when you're no longer surrounded by people on the same journey on a daily basis?

Replies

  • safully1
    safully1 Posts: 13 Member
    I've had similar struggles. Never had the 100 lbs loss, but a 20lb fluctuation has happened more than once. What worked for me was setting new goals and switching workout programs. Finish a workout program, then switch to something totally different for 6-8 weeks just to mix it up. For me, habits are great until changes in job, family, or stress happens then the habits no longer fit the lifestyle.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    rankinsect wrote: »
    I think you need to make it so you don't need motivating at all. All motivation is temporary. Build habits and find a lifestyle you can enjoy forever. You don't need to have the best diet or exercise plans, you need sustainable plans.

    This! No one stays motivated forever. It's all about permanently changing your habits and lifestyle.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    Make it about discipline. Motivation only gets you ready, discipline will get you going. Do you go to work, if you do, than you can log and exercise too.
  • T0M_K
    T0M_K Posts: 7,526 Member
    edited September 2016
    some times we just need to reach deep down inside and just get a determination that is just unrelenting. its a mental game. physically, you lost 100lbs..you know you can do it. its not like trying something that "might" work which is so much harder. but having a determination that is based up what you know will be a success....heck man...what else in life gives you that guarantee??????.

    so you lost your job...you know how much of our lives is sometimes totally out of our control...this health thing..eating withing calorie limits, dropping the weight you need to drop.....thats ALL you...its one of the few things in life we can have total and complete control over. just do it.
  • MissusMoon
    MissusMoon Posts: 1,900 Member
    rankinsect wrote: »
    I think you need to make it so you don't need motivating at all. All motivation is temporary. Build habits and find a lifestyle you can enjoy forever. You don't need to have the best diet or exercise plans, you need sustainable plans.

    All of this.
  • T0M_K
    T0M_K Posts: 7,526 Member
    irjeffb wrote: »
    Tomk652015 wrote: »
    so you lost your job...you know how much of our lives is sometimes totally out of our control...this health thing..eating withing calorie limits, dropping the weight you need to drop.....thats ALL you...its one of the few things in life we can have total and complete control over. just do it.
    I didn't lose my job; I voluntarily left to be able to be with my family more. I made great money, but I was gone from home 11 hours a day, and it got to a point where I wanted to be with my family more than we needed the money. That part has been a huge blessing. I work part-time for my church, primarily from home, but I make it to every event for my kids and am able to take care of everything to support my wife going back to school for her MBA, etc.

    oh my apologies for misspeaking
  • dhimaan
    dhimaan Posts: 774 Member
    When I was going alone it was a tough grind day to day. Depression crept back in so it was even more difficult for awhile. I also didn't have many friends around.

    I have made 5 new friends who now go to the gym with me. Couple of older friends don't go anymore so I have recruited some younger guys to go with me. I am lucky in that I can make friends easily. All of these guys are below 14 percent body fat so that is added motivation. 6 days of the week these guys push me. So even when I am not motivated I still have to go. They are giving me 2 months to drop significant amounts of body fat.

    You are going to have to find the motivation somehow somewhere deep within you if you are alone.

    Good luck on your journey.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    rankinsect wrote: »
    I think you need to make it so you don't need motivating at all. All motivation is temporary. Build habits and find a lifestyle you can enjoy forever. You don't need to have the best diet or exercise plans, you need sustainable plans.

    I go back and forth between thinking that motivation is overrated and thinking that perhaps that view of motivation defines it too narrowly. Wanting to have a forever enjoyable lifestyle can be a motivation, after all.
  • seska422
    seska422 Posts: 3,217 Member
    edited September 2016
    Losing weight and maintaining weight are two different skills. IMO, maintenance is harder. Even without your change in circumstance, the weight might have crept back on.

    You don't get as much external positive feedback from the scale and from people who notice your progress when you maintain. You don't have an end goal since maintenance is for the rest of your life. Success is measured by lack of change rather than by change.

    Some people can find a way to maintain without staying vigilant about food intake. Some cannot.

    I have yet to succeed at maintaining but my plan this time is to keep doing what I'm doing to lose weight but with a few more calories available.
  • ogtmama
    ogtmama Posts: 1,403 Member
    Maybe head over to the success stories page, or the motivation section...I know I've found a lot of helpful stuff in there sometimes. Especially seeing how good it feels to lose weight.
  • oolou
    oolou Posts: 765 Member
    edited September 2016
    I don't know whether it would be a hard or easy thing to do, but perhaps you could start a local group for people who want to lose weight. Perhaps it's something you could do with the support of your local health centre? Perhaps a daily walking/running group, or something like that? Or something you could organise through your Church?
  • radhikanarayan8533
    radhikanarayan8533 Posts: 1 Member
    Well I am in the same boat too , having lost over 10 kg 2 years ago, couldn't stay motivated , now I am 15 kg heavier than I was 3 years ago.. thanks to job changes and difficult personal situation .. I have started my journey all over again.. want to stay motivated ..
  • DisneyDude85
    DisneyDude85 Posts: 428 Member
    My personal philosophy is: Motivation is WHY you are doing it, and Inspiration is what KEEPS you doing it. Sounds like your work group was your inspiration. I don't have much inspiration around me, so I look to fitness YouTubers to inspire me to keep pushing. I watch their videos every day. Its been working for me so far :)
  • cross2bear
    cross2bear Posts: 1,106 Member
    Your motivation is not going to maintain itself if it relies on other people and what they do and the journey they are on. this is about YOUR journey. Make the weight loss about You and your health. You obviously care deeply about your family - if you want to be there for them for the long haul, for every event and celebration, to provide comfort and support in all they do, then you better look after your health and get a grip on your weight or they will be saying at your gravesite "if only he had found the motivation to look after himself instead of always looking after others".

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    oolou wrote: »
    I don't know whether it would be a hard or easy thing to do, but perhaps you could start a local group for people who want to lose weight. Perhaps it's something you could do with the support of your local health centre? Perhaps a daily walking/running group, or something like that? Or something you could organise through your Church?

    I was thinking the same thing. Is that something that would interest you, OP?

    I know that my SIL started a food sensivities (not sure what to call it) group in her church. They met regularly to discuss medical issues, share recipes, etc. It seemed pretty successful.
  • clicketykeys
    clicketykeys Posts: 6,589 Member
    Do a cost/benefit analysis. How's your health? What does your future look like? If you're in good health, focus on maintaining that so that you can have as much time as possible with the people you love.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    IDK...I focus more on health and wellness and those things are important to me. Also, for the most part I enjoy eating well...I love to cook and when you are a good cook it's pretty easy to eat healthy and delicious...I also really enjoy cycling...I don't always feel like going for a ride, but for the most part I really enjoy it so it's really not much of a chore 95% of the time so I don't usually need to get up some kind of motivation to do it...it's basically a hobby and I love it. That other 5% of the time, I just suck it up and put in the work...I'm usually signed up for various cycling events and whatnot so keeping up with my training is important, even on days when I'd rather not.
  • Kellyfitness128
    Kellyfitness128 Posts: 194 Member
    Goals are best accomplished with intrinsic motivation- when you're doing it for internal rewards, such as having more energy, getting better sleep, being more physically comfortable, etc. Research suggests that most people do not stick with goals if they're doing it for an external reward, such as winning a bet, rewarding oneself with a prize, and the like. You have to figure out why you want to lose the weight. How will you feel after you've lost it? How will your health improve and in what ways will you notice it?

    Also, what works for me is to enjoy what I'm doing. I see weight loss as a challenge, and I love a challenge and also strongly value my own health. Weight loss doesn't have to be miserable. I still eat the foods I want (in moderate portions) and I'm active, doing workouts that I enjoy. Sometimes I don't feel like running, so I get my exercise by dancing around the house. Or riding my bike. Or anything! I only keep exercising because I enjoy doing it, so it doesn't require motivation.... it's just part of my life :)

    Hope that helped!
  • CrabbyCancerMama
    CrabbyCancerMama Posts: 95 Member
    I exercise and take care of myself out of habit now. But I do it for my family and myself. I want to be fit to enjoy life and be active and present for my kids and husband. my greatest fear is dying from a heart attack. for me the hardest part was actually getting off my butt and going to the gym. once there is make the most of my time. so I know now I just need to do it and I'll feel better. I go in the morning and it sets me up for the day. Hope you get your MOJO back soon.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    Your motivation should be remembering how you felt 100lbs heavier and what it took to lose it. You don't ever want to go back there and start again, right?
  • AnarchistKitchen
    AnarchistKitchen Posts: 139 Member
    There's a lady who wrote the books Better Than Before & The Happiness Project. She talks about the 4 personality types when it comes to expectations. You sound like a "obliger" according to her grouping. Obligers NEED outside accountability in order to follow through. Instead of trying to create this internal expectation just honor the way you're wired. Find a group or outside accountability and you should be more in your zone.

    I'm an upholder. I'm self directed but can also take direction from a leader. (Rare group)

    Questioners can't take orders. They only will do what others want when it fits in with their internal expectations. They do what makes sense to them. Not putter expectations.

    Rebels resist outer & inner expectations which sounds complicated when it comes to tackling long term goals.

    Rebels & upholders are the extremes. I plan to read Better than Before from the library since it's a book about building habits. I took the short cut and just listened to her 4 podcasts on each personality type. Good stuff!
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,333 Member
    Maybe not being around other people like you used to be is the difference. I know I'm more motivated to look my best when I know I'm going to be out and seen. Maybe get another job.. or get involved in something to get out of the house.
  • peterbuller8
    peterbuller8 Posts: 155 Member
    My motivation is being able to eat and drink what i like when i like .
    I have lost 35+lb's in the last 8 months and know if i want to go out for a big meal with friends or family then i need to put the time in at the gym before to allow for that.
    Not the clean healthy lifestyle most people on MFP are after but it works for me i see my mates all doing the same as me but without the exercise complaining about middle age spread and being unfit while i am still losing weight.
  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,658 Member
    In all honesty a lot of motivation for me is pure vanity. I want to look a certain way and will do whatever to achieve it. Nothing wrong with being selfish to improve yourself.
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