Just one beer?

++ Note: this is a blog I posted this morning and I thought I would share in hopes to inspire someone today! Feel free to add me for support and encouragement! I could use some too!

Yep. That's it! That's all I had this weekend and I must say that I feel extremely proud about that. Now, now. Don't get it twisted! It was difficult for me and it was even difficult for my friends to understand. I even tempted fate by going out Saturday night, but I knew that consciously making the decision to destroy the hard work I had done the same day (rollerblading + 2 hour walk), that my head ache wouldn't be from the booze but from the disappointment the following day. All this to say...

I feel my strength coming back. Physically and mentally. With a vengeance too! As I brushed my teeth last night, I couldn't stop starring at myself in the mirror. I was alarmed by the crazy tan lines/sun burn I had gotten on Saturday and was admiring the interesting pattern my sports bra and shirt left on my back. And then, out of the blue, I noticed some new muscles. Some flatter areas where they had been jiggly before. Could it be that I'm getting a nice lookin' back?! I thought those lat pull downs just made me look like I knew what I was doing at the gym, not actually working on my back?! And then I scrolled down to my rump. My mum had said on her visit that it had gotten smaller and rounder, and you know what they say "Mama knows best!" but I finally believed her when I was able to notice a considerable difference in my underwear. Yep, my underwear were pooching at the butt. How sexy. Perhaps I'll starting wearing thongs so that it doesn't look like I'm wearing a saggy diaper! Still with a mouth full of tooth paste, I flexed my arms and posed to the mirror "Did you get tickets to the gun show? Oh yeaaaaa, you did!" Dudes, I'm getting PIPES. Solid, defined, feminine lookin' PIPES! I felt so good that I leaned over the vanity sink and did 20 push ups. I mean, who does 20 push ups while brushing their teeth at 10:30 at night? What the hell is happening?!

I have taken a conscious break from the scale and I must say that checking myself out in the mirror is far better than any number I've ever seen on the scale. It is likely one of the greatest choices I've made as of late. I've always been disappointed and even made up my own curse of "No loss, mo' pain." as if the non-loss of weight was a freakin' disease or something. I was never proud of inches lost. WTF, really? Seriously. I want to pick up my scale and chuck it across the room and make sure that crashes into pieces. And for cool movie effects, I hope it bursts into flames while crashing. I've read quotes time and time again, "It's not the numbers on the scale that matter, it's how you feel." or the classic "It's not the weight that'll make you happy, it's the inches." *womp, womp, womp* I always rolled my eyes at these statements (even though I knew they were right). I wondered, "Well, how else are you supposed to know how much you've lost?" And the answer is: You don't. You don't know and you won't know because it doesn’t. Freakin'. Matter. Let it be known that I, Myriam, have been converted to an "Inches Lost" system or a "On a scale of 1-10, how do you feel?" system. Yep, I'll be that jerk you'll roll your eyes to when I say things like "Nevermind the scale, how are your trousers fitting these days?" Can I get a big FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*K YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU Mr. Scale? Please and thank you!

I know we all need concrete evidence that the 5 broccoli heads we ate during the movie while the rest of the family was eating popcorn were worth it. Something confirming that drinking those 12 glasses of water the other day were worth the 24 trips you took to the bathroom. Let's face it, WE NEED GROUNDS TO BELIEVE. Well, believe in the process, believe me, and better yet, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You can do this. There isn't a doubt in my mind and there shouldn't be one in yours! I've seen you do it before, I've read your successes and your struggles and the important part to remember is that you're still here, and you're still going. Take a deep breath in and leap. Or walk, jog, run, bike, whatever you like. Your happiness will never be measured by a number, but it will amount up to the moments like those mentioned above. Hopefully it will be more graceful than drooling toothpaste all over the place like I did.

I know I'm not perfect and still have my weak moments, but at least I can say that I'm on my way to where I want to go and I'm so proud about that. And please don't ever forget that I am just as proud if not more to have you all as my friends.

Much love,

Myr xo.