Public body shaming

a_nicola · October 2016

Last night I was at a formal charity ball I was surrounded by inspiring brave people who had faced the toughest challenges in life head on.

So when me and a goup of friends decided to get a professional photographer from the events photographer I was shocked and upset by the comments from the female photographer. As she shuffled us around for the 'perfect shot' the comments directed at me came in the and fast "don't stand like that it's doing nothing for your figure next to these other ladies", "perhaps you should stand towards the back and to the side that will definitely help your figure", "are you happy with your face in that shot?"

WTF!!!!????

This was all in front of my friends and the on lookers waiting in line.....I was mortified, I actually didn't know whether to laugh or cry!! One of the guys I was wiith could see my utter embarrassment put his arm around me and said "you look beautiful" but all I could hear was that woman's hurtful words and the rippling laughter.

Needless to say it played on my mind all evening and this morning. I am quite aware that I am the largest in my group of friends I don't need it pointing out.....and I'm certainly not going to buy a crappy photo to prove it!!

amusedmonkey · October 2016

I can understand how this would be hurtful, and yes some people don't think twice before they blurt their *kitten*. Personally, I would not take it as anything hurtful. She is just trying to do her job. Many people are insecure about their figure and might feel like they look bad in photos, I guess she was trying to minimize that impact and produce something everyone would find acceptable by playing with proportion and position. I doubt she was deliberately trying to insult you. The way she came off, unfortunately, did not do her any favors as a professional. I wouldn't think much of it, personally, but you have every right to feel upset.

snickerscharlie · October 2016

That kind of 'direction' may have been somewhat understandable in a private situation - like if you were posing for portraits privately in her studio, for example - but I do feel it was incredibly inappropriate and unprofessional for her to have done so in a public setting.

Alluminati · October 2016

I would have felt awkward as well if that happened to me, too. She sounds like she was trying to do her job well but went about it in a tactless way.

zyxst · October 2016

I would've ripped into her for those comments, ending with "Let's find a photographer who's not such a douche canoe."

Doug12016 · October 2016

I agree with previous comments that the 'professional' photographer's directions were very un-professional. This person was totally self centred, mechanically working to produce a saleable photo without consideration for the human beings they were shooting. Your experience brought to mind the first line in a poem by Mother Teresa - the poem is copied below. I hope it helps.
________________

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

~Mother Teresa

a_nicola · October 2016

Thank you all for your comments, it's good to know how it made me feel wasn't irrational! I will take her comments, say "no thank you" and move on...

jolive7 · October 2016

She should have more tact.. she could have given the direction without mentioning your figure at all! Maybe she is used to hearing a lot of females saying that's not my angle, I look fat standing that way etc etc..

Public body shaming

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