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What can I cook when I have to feed two very different body types?! HELP!

destiel67
destiel67 Posts: 2 Member
edited December 2024 in Health and Weight Loss
My boyfriend and I are very different body types.
He is approx. 5'11" at 130 lbs and I am 5'5" at 167.

He has poor eating habits so I have started to make lunch for him every day as well.
If I don't he either doesn't eat or eats the fattiest thing on the menu (which doesn't help his kidney stones).

I am trying to lose while he is trying to gain, but I don't know what to make because every time I make his food I would rather eat that than my low calorie lunch.

What is something we can both eat that is tasty and easy to portion out for us (more for him and less for me)?

Thanks!

Replies

  • jlynnm70
    jlynnm70 Posts: 460 Member
    OK - you sound a lot like me and my husband. He's 5'11" and about 140 - I'm 5'1" and about 150.

    lunches are fine...you can just change portions sizes - or give him some chips while you take veggies or something.

    Dinner - I just do what previous post said - take a smaller portion with a salad or extra veggies (or both) and try to avoid the carb/calorie loaded dishes. He gets butter and sour cream on a baked potato - I use fat free Italian dressing. He eats bread - I skip it. Sometimes I make sides that are better for me - he just takes larger portions. My problem is the kids are built like him! So basically I feed them a healthy dinner, and then adapt mine via portion, etc. As long as I don't fry/bread everything at dinner...I do fine when I want to. The other day DH made homemade fish - theirs was breaded, he didn't bread mine, just sautéed it in a little olive oil. Sometimes when all else fails...I just send them out for ice cream and I stay home!
  • nikolausi88
    nikolausi88 Posts: 22 Member
    Echoing what all the previous posters said, just because someone is trying to gain weight doesn't mean it should be done on fried foods and candy alone.

    My husband and I have very different preferences for food, so most of our meals are made in components we can assemble ourselves. So think of a protein, starch and vegetable you both like and make that.
    For example, we make a pasta sauce, a portion of pasta, a portion of zucchini noodles and maybe garlic toast (or several portions for leftovers). Or a veggie omelette for both and then he can add extra cheese or other toppings/ sides.

    A registered dietitian or Doctor can probably help you both develop a good plan, especially since your bf has additional health concerns.
  • RAinWA
    RAinWA Posts: 1,980 Member
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    What do you like

    Cook that

    You take a small we portion with lots of salad and vegetables

    He takes larger portion with bread, butter, cheese and cream

    This is what I do. My husband is 6'2" and having issues maintaining his weight. I'm 5'1" and maintaining, but don't need near as much food.

    I have a smaller portion of the proteins and more veggies and salad, he gets more of the proteins and rice/potatoes/whatever. I add butter and cheese to his vegetables and take mine plain.

    If we're having ice cream - he gets 2 cups, I get 1/2 cup in a very small dish (which is the hardest part - I LOVE ice cream). Although sometimes I add bananas or some other fruit to my ice cream to bulk it up and make it look like more.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    My husband and I have the same problem. He's on here trying to gain and I'm here to lose. I've outweighed him most of our relationship because he is never hungry and I'm ALWAYS hungry. We eat the same food, he eats more, and we got him this:

    dk51ph3846rj.jpg


    It's an extra 1200 calories per day for him. And his maintenance is almost 3000, so this makes a big difference. It's like $70 for the bag and it lasts about a month. Small price to pay for knowing the next time he gets the flu he'll actually survive it.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    Eat the same foods but different portions and different 'extras'.

    For him: larger portions of starchy sides, larger portions in general, and use full fat extras like dairy, avocado, nuts.

    For you: smaller portions of starchy sides, and use lighter extras light light dairy and use higher cal items like avocado, nuts sparingly.
  • Alyssa_Is_LosingIt
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt Posts: 4,696 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    Can you two not eat the same food, just in different portions?

    This.
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    What do you like

    Cook that

    You take a small we portion with lots of salad and vegetables

    He takes larger portion with bread, butter, cheese and cream

    And this.

    There is no reason why you can't both eat more or less the same thing. Make the main dish - whatever it is you guys want for dinner. You take a smaller portion, he takes a larger portion. Fill out the rest of your plate with veggies, and he can add more calorie-dense sides/condiments to his.

    For example, you can each have baked chicken, mac and cheese, and steamed broccoli. He may have a bigger portion of the chicken with the skin on, you may need to eat yours without skin. He can have more mac and cheese, you need less mac and cheese. You can both have the broccoli, you just use the broccoli to fill out the rest of your plate so you can eat enough to fill you up, and he may want to add some butter to his.

    No need to complicate things.
  • CoffeeNCardio
    CoffeeNCardio Posts: 1,847 Member
    Also also, I have added biscuits or rolls to virtually every meal, some kind of high calorie starch or carb that I simply abstain from. It's an extra 100 calories for him and it's super easy.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    destiel67 wrote: »
    My boyfriend and I are very different body types.
    He is approx. 5'11" at 130 lbs and I am 5'5" at 167.

    He has poor eating habits so I have started to make lunch for him every day as well.
    If I don't he either doesn't eat or eats the fattiest thing on the menu (which doesn't help his kidney stones).

    I am trying to lose while he is trying to gain, but I don't know what to make because every time I make his food I would rather eat that than my low calorie lunch.

    What is something we can both eat that is tasty and easy to portion out for us (more for him and less for me)?

    Thanks!

    You can eat the same thing but it comes down to the appropriate portion size for each of you. He needs to take charge of his own plate and you do yours though. Put more vegetables on your plate.
    He might benefit from eating more calorie dense foods. http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10142490/a-list-of-calorie-dense-foods/p1 Beans and lentils, rice, pasta, potatoes, bananas, whole grain bread might be some choices for him that are lower fat but still have the calories.
    Possibly he needs dietary advice from his doctor or a registered dietician. http://my.clevelandclinic.org/services/urology-kidney/diseases-conditions/kidney-stones-overview
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Calories are king when it comes to weight loss. You can cook the same thing for you both and just eat less. You don't have to give up any types of food to lose weight.
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    Can you two not eat the same food, just in different portions?

    So much this.
    Weight loss doesn't require special food, just smaller portions of certain foods.
  • LaReinaDeCorazones
    LaReinaDeCorazones Posts: 274 Member
    Pretty much everything everyone said. My oldest son is 6'1 and maybe 140, but the rest of us are all shorter and a lot chubbier. He just gets bigger servings of everything, and he eats a lot of pastas, he's not really into sweets because it messes with his complexion, so I try to make something Cal heavy for every dinner.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    You eat portions appropriate for you...he eats portions appropriate for him. My wife and I eat the same food...nobody has time to go around making multiple meals...we just eat in appropriate portions and since I'm a dude I get more snacks.
  • mari5466
    mari5466 Posts: 137 Member
    Living in the same situation. I make my own lunches and box them up. Then I make extra dinner every night and give him left overs. He's happy with everything I make so he's easy to please.
  • ashjongfit
    ashjongfit Posts: 147 Member
    My SO is a big and tall guy, his TDEE is much higher than mine and his goals are not weight loss. I eat less of whatever we are having, or I eat say a taco salad and he has his on a few tortillas. Sometimes I meal prep our dinners on a Sunday and we all have something different. Plus he has more snacks like nuts and stuff
  • mitch16
    mitch16 Posts: 2,113 Member
    Yup, just different portion sizes... I have a teenage son who is bulking at ~3200 calories per day. I eat ~1400 usually. He gets much larger portions of everything. When we have something like steak for dinner, he gets a whole steak, potatoes, and salad, and I get half a steak and salad. On taco night he gets 3 or 4 tacos with sour cream and guacamole. I get a small portion of taco meat with lots of lettuce and tomatoes. He gets smoothies made with yogurt and fruit every day after school as part of his snack. He gets regular soda (on the rare occasion we have soda), I have diet. He eats protein bombs on his way to the gym. The other day I did the math as I was packing his lunch (yes, I still pack his lunch--it makes for a more drama-free morning) and he gets more calories in his lunchbox than I usually eat all day!
  • Aaron_K123
    Aaron_K123 Posts: 7,122 Member
    Portion size coupled with him snacking more I'd say, just keep it simple. Can cook the same meal and he just eats 2x what you do.
  • jolive7
    jolive7 Posts: 283 Member
    destiel67 wrote: »
    My boyfriend and I are very different body types.
    He is approx. 5'11" at 130 lbs and I am 5'5" at 167.

    He has poor eating habits so I have started to make lunch for him every day as well.
    If I don't he either doesn't eat or eats the fattiest thing on the menu (which doesn't help his kidney stones).

    I am trying to lose while he is trying to gain, but I don't know what to make because every time I make his food I would rather eat that than my low calorie lunch.

    What is something we can both eat that is tasty and easy to portion out for us (more for him and less for me)?

    Thanks!

    If he is trying to gain weight he needs to be mature enough to ensure he eats lunch if you do not provide it
  • jolive7
    jolive7 Posts: 283 Member
    Alyssa_Is_LosingIt wrote: »
    jolive7 wrote: »
    destiel67 wrote: »
    My boyfriend and I are very different body types.
    He is approx. 5'11" at 130 lbs and I am 5'5" at 167.

    He has poor eating habits so I have started to make lunch for him every day as well.
    If I don't he either doesn't eat or eats the fattiest thing on the menu (which doesn't help his kidney stones).

    I am trying to lose while he is trying to gain, but I don't know what to make because every time I make his food I would rather eat that than my low calorie lunch.

    What is something we can both eat that is tasty and easy to portion out for us (more for him and less for me)?

    Thanks!

    If he is trying to gain weight he needs to be mature enough to ensure he eats lunch if you do not provide it

    Wait, so it's not our job as women to get in the kitchen and make our man a sammich?

    Haha believe it or not... or maybe I am just a terrible housewife
  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
    Make a protein, carb and veggie. Eat the portions & quantities that match your goals. I'd say add fat to his like butter for more calories but if fat hurts his kidneys never mind. Maybe have him drink a protein shake in between or with meals? There's also those really yummy protein cookies that are almost 400 calories each - Lenny & Larrys I think is the brand (for him not you).
  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
    Sucks though sounds like you're an endomorph and he's an ectomorph. That can be frustrating. I've been there too...
  • daniip_la
    daniip_la Posts: 678 Member
    courtneyfabulous wrote: »
    Sucks though sounds like you're an endomorph and he's an ectomorph. That can be frustrating. I've been there too...

    Endomorph/Ectomorph/etc has absolutely no bearing on weight loss.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    I really don't see the problem. Make the same things at dinner - he can have a starch/carb on the side or have an extra snack later.
  • victoria_1024
    victoria_1024 Posts: 915 Member
    Um I'm 5'3 and 125 lbs, husband is 7 feet and 230 lbs! Pretty major body size differences although we are both healthy weights. But his diet is way different than mine because he can maintain at way higher calories being 2 feet taller. Like others said, we make meals that our family enjoys and then we just eat different portion sizes. He does tend to have junk food around and he can eat an entire French silk pie by himself in like two days lol. So that requires some self control from me! But i have no problem with that.
  • destiel67
    destiel67 Posts: 2 Member
    Thanks everyone so much for your help!!!!

    I forgot to mention that carbs are my ultimate weakness. I LOVE bread so it is hard having that around me so often and he doesn't like carbs (he's really just a protein guy) so its hard to find something to give him that holds a lot of calories.

    I also like to season my food, but with his kidney stones he's not supposed to have salt
    I cook with butter and oils for him and try to avoid that for me
    He loves spicy and I'm a wimp.

    Our tastes are very different but, no matter what I make he's very grateful.
    jolive7 wrote: »
    If he is trying to gain weight he needs to be mature enough to ensure he eats lunch if you do not provide it

    ^ He isn't exactly focused on gaining weight, but knows he should for health reasons. It has nothing to do with him being dependent on me, but more of him being absorbed in his work and forgetting to eat unless I remind him. Plus it's hard for him to break the habit of going out of his way to eat because he has unknowingly been intermittently fasting since he was in high school.

    haha and trust me I'm not stuck in the kitchen. he gets dinner duty!
    CoffeeNCardio wrote: »
    My husband and I have the same problem. He's on here trying to gain and I'm here to lose. I've outweighed him most of our relationship because he is never hungry and I'm ALWAYS hungry. We eat the same food, he eats more, and we got him this:

    dk51ph3846rj.jpg


    It's an extra 1200 calories per day for him. And his maintenance is almost 3000, so this makes a big difference. It's like $70 for the bag and it lasts about a month. Small price to pay for knowing the next time he gets the flu he'll actually survive it.

    ^ And Thank you CoffeeNCardio!!! This looks like an amazing solution!!!! He will have to try this!!! <3
  • bethannien
    bethannien Posts: 556 Member
    My husband is 6'4" and weighs 200-205. He can basically eat anything he wants and maintain his weight. His weight hasn't really changed much beyond this 5 pound range in 6 years.

    I'm 5'6". When I eat like him, my weight hovers around 215 pounds. Obviously that is not a healthy weight for me.

    So most of the time, his lunch is leftovers from dinner the previous day (usually more calories than I like to have for lunch). I'll make myself a big batch of grilled veggies or I'll just have fresh veggies on hand and I'll make myself veggie wraps or sandwiches during the week.

    Dinner, he either takes 1.5-2 servings or I'll make a starchy side just for him and the kids.

    You don't have to radically modify anything if you don't want to.
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