Why does the husband have to be so sweet....????

kappy_hollowell
kappy_hollowell Posts: 399
edited September 29 in Health and Weight Loss
I love myhusband to death! I could be with him 24/7 and never get tired of him. I do have one problem....... He tells me I'm not fat. That I'm skinny (Bhahahahahahahaha:laugh: :laugh: ) That makes me laugh. He's so sweet, and he tries to be so helpful and encouraging, but when he says things like that, it makes my head swim. I don't know what to do>??? I KNOW i need to lose weight.... he knows this too, but when I say something about it, it's just "no you're sexy just the way you are" or "you look good in that mini-skirt" knowing that my big ol legs are sticking out the bottom.

Does anyone have any advice?:noway:

Replies

  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    Yes, ENJOY IT!!!! :happy:

    My ex told me that I had "EAS"....Expanding *kitten* Syndrome. :ohwell: I think I can just leave it at that.

    Your hubz sounds wonderful! Give him lots of kisses.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    He's a boy, he will never understand. He thinks it's his job to make you feel beautiful. When he says things like that just give him a smile and a pat on the head because he's doing his job really well :)
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    Gotta love em! Just remind yourself you are doing this for YOU, not anyone else. Smile sweet and tell him he is sweet!
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    Ignore it. My boyfriend is the same way. Even at my highest weight, he told me I was beautiful and sexy and that I didn't need to lose weight. He still encourages me to eat right, though and will be excited with me when I lose weight or have a good workout. You just kind of have to take it and understand that he's a guy and guys aren't as in tune with details like women are... so you see a roll, he sees you.
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
    I dont know any guy that is going to tell a woman she is fat.. well not any that have lived to tell about it :flowerforyou:
  • FoodiePatootie
    FoodiePatootie Posts: 5
    Lose the weight and then listen to the new comments about how great you look start flying in.
  • redtalent
    redtalent Posts: 86 Member
    I have the same er...problem? lol My hubby is great and tells me I'm beautiful every single day. It's nice to hear but we have to keep reminding ourselves that we want this so we actually FEEL beautiful and we can tell ourselves that every single day.
  • jenthestrawberry
    jenthestrawberry Posts: 93 Member
    Let him love you and appreciate you the way you are! If he loves you, he'll continue to love you as you build new muscles and lose the fat. I was 350 lbs when I met my Fiance. He loved me then, and never called me fat, and would say similar thing. But boy does he like to see my calf muscles developing, and collar bone appearing.

    It's hard to be supportive of a weight-loss plan, without being insulting. So, I'd suggest appreciating him for how much he loves you. If you keep your comments about your own health proactive instead of self-destructive it'll help! Instead of saying "god, I look so fat in this", say things like "This would look even better when I lose 10 lbs". Changing your words a little bit, can really help promote a sense of self worth. Knowing you're not any less of a person for being fat, and that having healthy goals is good for BOTH OF YOU, can really go a long way in promoting healthy compliments!

    It sounds like you have a real keeper, either way!! Congrats ;)
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    I'm pretty sure that my husband believes every word he says to me along those lines. Yes, he's enjoying the changes in my body as I've been losing but he truly thought I was beautiful before I ever lost a pound. Just like I think he's very sexy and handsome regardless of his weight. Enjoy what your hubby tells you and take it at face value. And then as you get where you want to be enjoy it even more. But don't disbelieve him, he most likely truly thinks you're a beautiful work of art.
  • aejbx4x7s
    aejbx4x7s Posts: 111
    I have the same problem with my boyfriend. Even though it was sweet, it bothered me. Then I realized that when he says I'm skinny I feel like I have to convince him that I need to lose weight. And then I am in the position where I am explaining how fat I am - never great - and it's to the person I want most to think I am attractive. Not a great situation. I just explained this to my bf and explained that, health wise, I felt better and that I really need his support. He was very understanding and it sounds like your husband will be the same.

    Best of luck!
  • wdwghettogirl
    wdwghettogirl Posts: 559 Member
    He sounds like one of the (seemingly) rare good ones. Thank him for his compliments, but keep working on you FOR you. He does love you the way you are, but you need to love you too. I shot down compliments from my hubby so many times, he's hesitant to give them now because it would frustrate him everytime he'd say I looked good and I'd immediately turn around and reject it. That's something else I'm working on... accepting compliments. :)
  • Rae6503
    Rae6503 Posts: 6,294 Member
    He's not lying! He does think you are beautiful. Guys don't notice things like chubby thighs. He sees the whole package and he likes it. Graciously accept his compliments and continue to make improvements FOR YOU. And maybe try to see it from his point of view. Try to see yourself as beautiful but just working to become more healthy.
  • dont_give_up
    dont_give_up Posts: 312 Member
    My husband has told me that before also. In the past, I would stop dieting, because I felt if he accepted me the way I was, then why change? I already had the man I wanted, and he loved me no matter what I weighed.
    A few months ago, I told him that if he did love me no matter what, then he would help me with my new lifestyle change. So far he has been really encouraging, and helpful. I think he has even gotten used to the way I have changed my cooking techniques. :happy:
  • katschi
    katschi Posts: 689 Member
    Be thankful your husband finds you attractive and compliments you.

    Disregarding a compliment and not believing your husband is like handing back a gift.

    How many people here don't get reassurance and support from their spouses and SOs? They'd love to be in your shoes being accepted for you just as you are.

    He obviously finds you attractive. If you have a problem with your figure then by all means do something about it but don't in effect slap him in the face when he voices his opinion about how great you look.
    That's the man that loves you for pete's sake.
    You are very lucky!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    Advice? Hold on to him! :love:

    My husband has been the same way since I first said I needed to lose weight. He asked why and told me I looked good. He's constantly saying "Wow, you look hot! But don't lose any more or you'll be too skinny." (NOT likely at 157 lbs). :laugh:
  • Mollfie
    Mollfie Posts: 8
    Appreciate it!
    He loves you regardless so just go with it. You might not agree with him but it's better than him telling you you're fat, that wouldn't help anyone at all. He loves you for who you are and that's fantastic!
  • kappy_hollowell
    kappy_hollowell Posts: 399
    Thanks everyone! That was very uplifting advice.!!!! He is a very genuine and kind man, which is a rarity! I'm going to work on myself for me! he does congratulate me when I lose a pound or two and when I have a great workout he applauds me! He is very encouraging with my weight loss efforts, even though he thinks I'm fine. So, I'll take y'alls advice and accept his compliments with a smile, hug and kiss!

    Thanks y'all!

    By the way..... He's 5'6" and only ways 135!!!!! He also gives me a run down everyday of what he has eaten and tells me to add up his calories.. LOL he's so funny, he lost about 60 lbs last year and does NOT want to gain it back! he's done well so far!
  • daisymae9801
    daisymae9801 Posts: 208 Member
    Aww, I know how you feel! My boyfriend is always saying, "You don't need to diet! You look sexy no matter what!" which is sweet but he can also corrode my self control when he tells me "Go ahead, have the brownie! You've been so good all week!" LOL
  • daisymae9801
    daisymae9801 Posts: 208 Member
    Aww, I know how you feel! My boyfriend is always saying, "You don't need to diet! You look sexy no matter what!" which is sweet but he can also corrode my self control when he tells me "Go ahead, have the brownie! You've been so good all week!" LOL
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
    I just tell him that he's biased. Then I smile and wiggle my big butt as I walk away (extra calories burned, dontcha know?). :bigsmile:
  • kappy_hollowell
    kappy_hollowell Posts: 399
    I just tell him that he's biased. Then I smile and wiggle my big butt as I walk away (extra calories burned, dontcha know?). :bigsmile:

    Love it! :laugh: :laugh: :happy: :bigsmile:
  • minadeathclutch
    minadeathclutch Posts: 375 Member
    that's not a problem. its a beautiful thing to have someone who loves you for who you are. who thinks youre beautiful no matter what. mines the same way. I think I need to lose 20 lbs, he thinks ill die because ill be a skeleton if i lose it lol. he thinks im insane. it's nice!
  • xXxKayleighxXx
    xXxKayleighxXx Posts: 103
    I think it's lovely and i'd just let him compliment you. As long as he isn't trying to fatten you up by sabotaging your meals or anything.

    My previous bf would say, well you could lose a couple stone...you could trim your stomach....your arms are quite big, etc. I felt awful. I felt self-conscious and unattractive. Depressed would probably be the best word.

    My current bf says baby you are so gorgeous and so sexy and i don't need you to change, but if you do, if you are unhappy, that's fine, i'll help you....just don't lose too much cos i love your curves.

    This makes me so happy. I know i can do it and he'll be proud of me. But i know that he loves me...all of me. I don't fret about getting undressed in front of him or having him touch my tummy or whatever because he makes me feel beautiful.

    Take it from me, this is the better man xxx
  • cartern1
    cartern1 Posts: 270 Member
    Do you want to lose weight for him or for yourself?

    I'm sure he'll be just as supportive as you lose weight and when you feel sexy and confident I'm sure he'll reap the benefits ;)
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    He's a boy, he will never understand. He thinks it's his job to make you feel beautiful. When he says things like that just give him a smile and a pat on the head because he's doing his job really well :)

    Yes! We boys love to be appreciated for doing our jobs well lol...and the PRIMARY on that job list for any decent male is making his woman feel good about herself.

    Soo cool that someone gets it =D.

    Plus, when the right woman gives you that smile...and pats you on the head...it's a reward all its own...
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