Help

I need motivation.. I've had an addiction to food for years, dealing with depression, anxiety etc. I've never had a easy life and I've grown addicted to food. I'd think all day about food, and when my next meal would be, how good it'll be, how happy it'll make me feel. I can't live like that anymore. I started eating only when I'm hungry since the beginning of the month and I'm doubting myself big time. I don't believe I can actually do this. I don't think I'll ever be good looking or skinny. I'm 5'0 and 161 pounds... my goal is to loose 53 pounds. I'm a very independent person... but sometimes people need help