Faux Support

wow. She sounds like someone you should unfriend.

One word....jealous!

I have a friend like that as well. Not just in terms of weight loss, but she cant be happy for me about ANYTHING. She always focuses on the negative and makes my life miserable. I have been slowly cutting her out of my life because she actually makes me feel horrible about myself and when I come home after spending time with her, I honestly get in bed and feel so bad.

Anyway, dont worry about her!!! Keep going, keep your own goals in mind and forget about what other people think. Maybe I should take my own advice, but try not to let it get you down!!

You don't need frenemis in your life right now, I just broke up with one of my friends because she was just sooo negative and bringing me down, any time that I would tell her about my weight loss etc, she would say negative stuff...so I decided just not to speak to her anymore.

Anyways, break up with her if it's not a friendship that you are happy in.

Best.

Some people just don't get it. There are alot of people out there that feel every meal should be as if it were your last meal.

I would say you need to decide whether person is someone that you really want to have in your life.

- yes. Stop talking about dieting, weight loss, etc. Obviously it is driving a wedge between you two. Should you eat with this person, you make what you want and she makes what she wants. Should she make comments about your food, you say this is what I like, so this is what I'm going to eat.

- no. cut her out now and save yourself the strife.

Doesn't sound like a very good friend. Instead of talking about low carb/calorie foods. Ask her to try this new receipe you made, don't tell her it is "diet". When she says things like "don't you feel horrible, like you could just die...etc., tell her you choose to eat a healthy diet for yourself. That you do NOT want to die and that is why you choose to change. Good luck with her. I can't say I have ayone in my life like that...or no one that would be in my life very long if they were like that.

If your friends chooses to live an unhealthy lifestyle and talks bad about you for living a healthy one I think it is time to get new friends....just sayin' :ohwell:

i hope this "female person" isnt your girl. if so, dump her negative *kitten*!! youre doing great!

Just about all of us here have dealt with this. The way I see it, you can do what others said and not be a friend anymore. Or, you can do what I do and feel the satisfaction of doing what they haven't/can't/won't do.

I recently met up with an old friend and went through this. To add to it, this friend had gained even more weight since we last saw each other. Yeah, I listened to the excuses and the putdowns of this food and that food. Oh, but MY being able to sit in a booth and they couldn't...we had to move to a table because of that...PURE SATISFACTION!!!

It's a driving force to keep me succeeding when others put my efforts down. I just laugh to myself that they're the ones miserable and just lashing out. I say keep 'em as a friend and use that to push you. But, that's me.

I think I'd drop her like a hot potato.

I do have a very close friend who has said absolutely nothing to me about my weight loss... Kind of funny, because I was always heavier than she, and now I'm definitely lighter. I don't push it, because I'm not doing this for anyone else but me, but if she ever asks I'll be happy to tell her all about MFP.

Sounds like you have things in perspective - just ignore her and maybe she will get the hint.

Don't you just want to DIE rather than spend your life not being able to eat everything you want whenever you want

I used to say sh_t like this, but the truth is that I would rather be alive or have a better quality of life while alive. I try to remember that dead people don't eat donuts, not even on occasion... :laugh:

So I have this female person in my life, right? Whenever I mention that I'm losing weight or that my A1c is down, she gets this tight, almost rictus-like smile and said, "That's nice--I'm happy for you." Yet she spends more time than can possibly be healthy for her trying to convince me that I'm miserable. "Don't you feel angry? Don't you feel so cheated? Don't you just want to DIE rather than spend your life not being able to eat everything you want whenever you want?" I describe lower carb and calorie foods and she grimaces and curls her upper lip lke I'm talking about baked potato BUGS instead of potatoes. I talk about my lower carb/calorie bread (which she used to like before she was told it was "diet") and she says, "Ew, that cardboard crap?" I talk about having boneless ribs, and she says my meals aren't even worth eating if I can't have a dozen ribs and some horrifically fatty dessert to go with it. I talk about homemade tacos with wonderful, lower-carb chili beans, and she says she can't imagine even bothering if there aren't refried beans and "mountains" of Spanish rice. Like gluttony is something to strive for.

Anyone else have a not-so-supportive person in your life pretending to be rooting for you?


Sounds like someone is extremely jealous of your success. As the show CHOPPED goes.....Sorry, you've been CHOPPED!
Kris

Even being a close blood relative I would say avoid her as much as possible. That kind of poison isn't worth having around. Also, I would strongly suggest having a heart to heart with her, how her negative behaviors hurt your feelings, and then proceed to not talk about health food or your changes with her ever again.

Close relatives are tough. If it's a sibling, there's always that rivalry thing, and it does sound like jealousy as well, but what I also hear coming through in what this person is saying is a crapload of denial and excuses about why this wouldn't work for them. Why would they think you're angry? Why should you feel cheated? Since when are there no consequences for overeating? These statements are not even rational - they are entirely rooted in emotion. It's sad really.

The reaction to healthy food also sounds like an emotional response, as though there is some fear that making this commitment will result in a lifetime of deprivation rather than an improvement in the quality of your life. Your relative has some serious emotional baggage I'm afraid. Taking control of our health is not the equivalent of signing up for prisoner of war rations!

As for how to deal with it, since they are a relative, I would pleasantly but consistently make it a point to change the subject rather than be baited into a conversation that will demoralize you. And if they press the issue, point out that it is your body and your choice in how you're going to nourish it. I personally would make a fuss about how delicious my (healthy) food is, and about how great I feel - but that's probably just because it would bug them. Hehehe.

Good luck.