Trying to pick back up

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onederbaby
onederbaby Posts: 23 Member
in Motivation and Support
I feel like such a failure. I have tipped the scales to 300 and feel so ashamed. I have been under a terrible amount of stress lately and food has become my outlet. Back in May my husband of almost 20 years re-proposed to me on our Disney vacation. I was so thrown back and excited because we had a wedding planned by my mom that was not a traditional wedding. So I would get to plan my own wedding.

What my husband failed to tell me is he had a health issue he was waiting to go to the doctor for until after the vacation. When we got back and he finally told me, we made an appointment the next day. The doctor was such an expert in the field he knew exactly what it was, cancer. Two days later he was in surgery, the tumor was removed and then he had chemotherapy. He is doing fabulous, no signs of any further issues.

Now my 8 year old is on a watch and wait for her lymph nodes. They said they could biopsy one or wait and repeat her ultrasound and we elected to wait. I asked if they could just do blood work and they said what they were looking for wouldn't show up in blood work. So I asked what that would be and I wished I hadn't. Lymphoma.

That being said, I asked for some time off to de-stress and my boss told me I missed too many days taking care of my husband, so I quit.

I just don't know how to crawl out of this pit, but I do know that I can't keep sitting in it. I went for a walk today and burned almost 2,000 calories and I liked the walk. I think that having this time to myself will help me reflect and have time for myself.

Thank you for listening.

Replies

  • robboughton
    robboughton Posts: 62 Member
    edited October 2016
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    Not sure where you are at with MFP but you have a really tough life at the moment and I wish you all the best with it. Do you log food? If not get on it see where your at over the next 28 days and then look at where you can cut back.

    Take each day as it's own, aim for small goals. Don't fad diet eat the food you like within your calorie goals. If you mess up chalk it off and go again tomorrow.

    Add loads of friends so you can update your feed and learn from others too.

    Feel free to add me.
  • thrivingandwine
    thrivingandwine Posts: 3 Member
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    I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you for not giving up on yourself, even in the face of all the things you're going through right now. You are strong! Feel free to add me, too.
  • onederbaby
    onederbaby Posts: 23 Member
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    Thank you for the kind words. I have just started back with MFP yesterday. I am confused on which way to go, either with the low carb or calorie count. I think right now I need simple and that is the calorie count. Again, thank you for the inspiration and if you don't mind, I will add you both. I need all the help/support I can get.
  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    edited October 2016
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    onederbaby wrote: »
    Thank you for the kind words. I have just started back with MFP yesterday. I am confused on which way to go, either with the low carb or calorie count. I think right now I need simple and that is the calorie count. Again, thank you for the inspiration and if you don't mind, I will add you both. I need all the help/support I can get.

    Unless you have a health reason, calories is what matters for losing weight, not carbs.

    However, I am so sorry to hear that all of this is happening for you. I'm glad to hear that your husband is doing well, and I do hope the rest works itself out. I can't imagine waiting for the results on a test like that, so it's no wonder your are stressed - and rightfully so.

    Right now, I would just start by logging your food and get into a habit of doing it. I don't even mean changing your eating habits yet. Just get a good base of where you stand. Then just make little changes. Maybe take away an unneeded snack to decrease your calories, or add an extra ten minutes to a walk. You are already overwhelmed by life, so to add more onto your plate might just add to the stress.

    Best of luck.

  • catweiler57
    catweiler57 Posts: 14 Member
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    I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Totally can relate ....my son (now 36 yrs old) was diagnosed at age 4 with Wilms' tumor, had 15 months of chemo, reoccurance at age 7 and just surgery at that time since he maxed his chemo. My daughter was diagnosed at age 30 with thyroid cancer...is now 38. I have gone up and down, up and down, and up.... highest was 301.

    You need to take care of yourself too. Great job on going for that walk - my back and knees wouldn't be able to handle it. I have spinal stenosis due to a back injury obtain in a rear end collison in the early 1990's.

    I am in the process of going through the prep for bariatric surgery to help get and keep my weight off. It is not for everyone and I must keep a food log (thank goodness for MFP).

    Keep strong. Find a way to keep clearing your head and surround yourself with a good support group.

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