Seeing Things For What They Are (Feelings aren't very reliable sometimes!)
campfirequeen1
Posts: 317 Member
I posted in my blog this morning about my disappointment over only losing 1.8 pounds in the past ten days, and discovering that the amount of weight loss wasn't the disappointment at all, but in fact it was the probable failure to meet an unrealistic goal I had set for myself. My friend read it, liked it and suggested I post it for others to see. If you would like to see it, send me a message and I'll give you access.
I had hoped to be down to a svelte 250 by Thanksgiving and that's 15 pounds short at this point. After doing the number crunching, I could see that it would take almost a 3 pound per week weight loss to accomplish that, and I know that isn't very likely. My calorie goal is based on a two pound per week goal. I think that's as aggressive as I need to be at my age and current weight, and I'm doing ok with it so, don't fix what isn't broken!
One thing that I have learned here, with the help of those who come here and post about their journey, is that feelings are not always reliable, and they can derail your journey, if you let them jerk you around instead of really looking at what you are feeling bad about and why you are feeling that way.
For me, it was lack of sleep for one thing and that unrealistic goal I had set for myself. (which reminds me, sometimes I'm real sneaky about goals, I'll say I hope I do such and such when really I am taking it on as a goal. That way if it doesn't work out, then I save face because it wasn't really a GOAL but it was just something I was hoping for...Girl, I see right through you! haha)
If you are sleep deprived or overworked/overtired, you need to especially be suspect of disappointment and depressive thoughts. I went back to bed and got some more rest and when I woke up I was able to see that 1.8 pounds in ten days is a really good result. I was happy about it. SO GLAD I didn't just go with that disappointment this morning and let it eat me until I allowed it to drive me to unhealthy and maybe unbridled eating!
I had hoped to be down to a svelte 250 by Thanksgiving and that's 15 pounds short at this point. After doing the number crunching, I could see that it would take almost a 3 pound per week weight loss to accomplish that, and I know that isn't very likely. My calorie goal is based on a two pound per week goal. I think that's as aggressive as I need to be at my age and current weight, and I'm doing ok with it so, don't fix what isn't broken!
One thing that I have learned here, with the help of those who come here and post about their journey, is that feelings are not always reliable, and they can derail your journey, if you let them jerk you around instead of really looking at what you are feeling bad about and why you are feeling that way.
For me, it was lack of sleep for one thing and that unrealistic goal I had set for myself. (which reminds me, sometimes I'm real sneaky about goals, I'll say I hope I do such and such when really I am taking it on as a goal. That way if it doesn't work out, then I save face because it wasn't really a GOAL but it was just something I was hoping for...Girl, I see right through you! haha)
If you are sleep deprived or overworked/overtired, you need to especially be suspect of disappointment and depressive thoughts. I went back to bed and got some more rest and when I woke up I was able to see that 1.8 pounds in ten days is a really good result. I was happy about it. SO GLAD I didn't just go with that disappointment this morning and let it eat me until I allowed it to drive me to unhealthy and maybe unbridled eating!
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Replies
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good for you. the journey is long. we want quick fixes. thank you modern media. reality however is quite different.
Keep plugging along.3 -
Thanks Tom for your reply! That's what I said in my blog, the journey is long and without end if you are making a lifestyle change, and not just another quick weight loss plan and then back to not moving enough or eating healthy, so you need to start really looking at the way you respond to your feelings!0
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1.8 is pretty good for 10 days. You could make 15 by New Year's. Maybe even Christmas.
Keep doing what you are doing. It's working.1 -
@Noel_57 you are so right about that!
@BarbaraJatmfp Thanks! Yes it is and like I said the disappointment wasn't about the number, heck that was good, but if I had gotten stuck in the disappointment it wouldn't have mattered whether it was or not, so I'm so glad that I got some more rest and looked at why I was disappointed.0 -
15 lbs Just keep going! Enjoy each day as a learning tool. when we finish this part of our journey, we will be learning the next step... How to maintain, so we won't be making this struggle again.1
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Thanks for the reminder that we need to be gentle with ourselves.
Rest is so important. I'm trying to make it a goal to get extra sleep when I feel I need it because otherwise my motivation just goes out the window.1 -
@octopusplum yeah, I think that one of my biggest downfalls is being unforgiving of myself and I just got a message on my activity tracker site this morning that congratulated me for increasing the amount of sleep I was getting. I've been working on that and it's nice to see that it does make a difference!1
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I know exactly what you mean. I started losing weight in June. I tried really hard not to say "this is my goal", but in my head, it was my goal. I wanted to be 140 by Christmas. Then as I got sad and realized that's not going to happen, I decided I wanted to be 160 by Christmas. That's a big stretch, given how holidays can be, so now I'm bummed I might not be that. I gave up following my diet for weeks, and even though I've lost a tiny bit during my slacking off, I still feel bad about that darn 160. I wish I was happy that I lost anything at all during my slack off.
In June, I made a list of rewards for following my plan week by week. None of the rewards were based on weight loss. I lost track of that idea though, and got too fixed on pounds lost as my goal. I think I'm going to dig out that rewards list and try to focus more on consistency with my food and exercise than with pounds lost.
Thanks for this post. I really got me thinking. I'm really glad you were able to get happy about that 1.8 pound loss, too!0 -
I've never felt succesful when I tried to lose weight by a certain date.
When I just focused on doing my best that day/week I feel good about my progress. I don't have a deadline for reaching my goal now.3 -
@doggerland I'm very thankful that my post helped you to think about your own thinking. And what you said about weeks of not following through on your healthy changes is exactly what I was talking about that could have happened to me, if I had let my feelings in the moment overwhelm me. Hey, I've never been a confident person to begin with and I'm pretty easily discouraged, so I totally get on that train too easily anyway. BUT, I have to say that being on this site has helped me tremendously! When I feel down, my new favorite thing to do is go and read success stories. You see that everyone struggles, everyone fails, but if you keep on keeping on, and that includes really looking at why you are having those depressed thoughts, you will triumph in the end, and be one of those success stories. I plan on doing just that and something tells me you will too!0
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@Lounmoun I'm going to try and be more like you!1
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