New Idea for Constructive Criticism - Pay it Forward
BessSometimesJess
Posts: 4 Member
Hi all.
I am looking for ways to keep motivated and had a thought about a new motivation idea we could all do that would really help.
I have made a new group called 'Pay it Forward - Monday Constructive Feedback from Strangers'
Basically every member in the group chooses a random stranger, they then look at their previous 7 days and send a message telling them frankly and honestly what they could improve on. (But nicely and without any hate, obviously).
In return they will get a message from a random stranger each Monday.
Doing this with random strangers instead of friends means that we don't 'pussyfoot' about. We may end up giving out advice we often know we should take ourselves too.
It is IMPORTANT to stress that this isn't a group encouraging hate or mean criticism.
Examples of things to say:
"I've noticed you've eaten a lot of bread this week, perhaps try this recipe instead..."
"You've not logged your water intake, maybe that could be useful, especially as your diet includes salty foods like..."
"Good job on walking everyday! That's 'X' calories lost. That's the same amount as that chocolate bar on Wednesday
"
See what I mean? What do you think?
I am looking for ways to keep motivated and had a thought about a new motivation idea we could all do that would really help.
I have made a new group called 'Pay it Forward - Monday Constructive Feedback from Strangers'
Basically every member in the group chooses a random stranger, they then look at their previous 7 days and send a message telling them frankly and honestly what they could improve on. (But nicely and without any hate, obviously).
In return they will get a message from a random stranger each Monday.
Doing this with random strangers instead of friends means that we don't 'pussyfoot' about. We may end up giving out advice we often know we should take ourselves too.
It is IMPORTANT to stress that this isn't a group encouraging hate or mean criticism.
Examples of things to say:
"I've noticed you've eaten a lot of bread this week, perhaps try this recipe instead..."
"You've not logged your water intake, maybe that could be useful, especially as your diet includes salty foods like..."
"Good job on walking everyday! That's 'X' calories lost. That's the same amount as that chocolate bar on Wednesday
"See what I mean? What do you think?
1
Replies
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I can see where this would be super helpful for a lot of people, and I can see where this might go off the rails with how sensitive we can be about our weight loss / health / fitness journies.
It's a nice idea, I say go for it.
4 -
Any idea how to help balance out the volume? So no one gets a ton of help while others get none?3
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That sounds like a disaster in the making. Too many sensitive folks around these parts.9
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nope nope nooooopppe.
If it's something you think would work for you then I hope you find some like-minded people to join you, but I can barely handle correction from people who love me and want the best for me - a bunch of Internet strangers? uh-uh.6 -
nope nope nooooopppe.
If it's something you think would work for you then I hope you find some like-minded people to join you, but I can barely handle correction from people who love me and want the best for me - a bunch of Internet strangers? uh-uh.
Seriously especially when most have no clue wtf they are doing themselves.5 -
Chef_Barbell wrote: »That sounds like a disaster in the making. Too many sensitive folks around these parts.
My hope is that with it being 'opt in, opt out' it would mean that if it's not for you you simply leave the group (or never join in the first place).
Some folks (like me) need a bit of tough love now and then though so it could be really beneficial.4 -
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Yikes - this is why I keep my diary private. I have seen great advice from some of the users on MFP! But I also see some truly awful advice, broscience, thinly disguised sales pitches, and everything in between.
I know you mean well. Maybe this would be helpful to some. I would not appreciate unsolicited "constructive criticism" from an unknown source who doesn't know me or my specific situation.3 -
Guess I'll leave it then.
Shame that there's so much negativity on here, I didn't realise.0 -
Not negative - just trying to share a different perspective on this concept. :-)
Good luck with your weight loss journey!2 -
BessSometimesJess wrote: »Guess I'll leave it then.
Shame that there's so much negativity on here, I didn't realise.
Your concept of negativity may simply be someone else's idea of reality.
I honestly think is one of those ideas that looks good from far, but is actually far from good when put into actual practice.
Waaaaaay too much potential for butthurtness.
And broscience.
And sales pitches.
And my-way-or-the-highway diet 'suggestions.'
Perhaps instead of a group, recruit some friends and just post on your wall. That way, your friends can look at your diary and comment with support, opinions, ideas, etc. And if anyone gets really annoying, you can just delete them.
9 -
I think it's a great idea in theory, but making it useful in practice is another matter. My first thought is that weight loss is not a one size fits all kind of thing. What works for one person doesn't work for another (CI/CO being the exception). I've had people tell me they would starve if they ate as few carbs as I do (I am not low carb), but I find any more makes me ravenous. Some people say I eat too much protein, others say too little. A lot of women would be shocked at how many calories I eat and a lot of people would tell me I can't expect to have wine every night and still get results. And yet... I'm 1.6 pounds from my UGW. What I am doing works for me.
On the flip side, can you picture me advising someone else according to what has worked for me? "I can't help but notice you don't consume much alcohol or cheese. I've found both very helpful." Or perhaps "Do you really stop eating at 7:00 PM? Try snacking right up until bedtime. And add some wine to that snack!"
9 -
Mouse_Potato wrote: »"I can't help but notice you don't consume much alcohol or cheese. I've found both very helpful." Or perhaps "Do you really stop eating at 7:00 PM? Try snacking right up until bedtime. And add some wine to that snack!"
Well, if THAT'S the kind of constructive criticism we're talking about I'm in! j/k 8 -
snickerscharlie wrote: »BessSometimesJess wrote: »Guess I'll leave it then.
Shame that there's so much negativity on here, I didn't realise.
Your concept of negativity may simply be someone else's idea of reality.
I honestly think is one of those ideas that looks good from far, but is actually far from good when put into actual practice.
Waaaaaay too much potential for butthurtness.
And broscience.
And sales pitches.
And my-way-or-the-highway diet 'suggestions.'
Perhaps instead of a group, recruit some friends and just post on your wall. That way, your friends can look at your diary and comment with support, opinions, ideas, etc. And if anyone gets really annoying, you can just delete them.
This.
I don't need people looking at what I eat and telling me what I'm doing wrong. I've got this. I have my diary open only to friends for that reason. And I have a great group of friends who are cool enough to keep their eyes on their own plate and not shame me for the 3 glasses of wine I had last week, or the cheesecake I had after lunch today.
Plus there is no right or wrong way to achieve a calorie deficit, so telling someone that what they're eating is not good enough is totally useless.5 -
My issue with this is the assumption that the criticism would be constructive. You only have to look around page 1 of the recent threads to see that people have verrrry different ideas of what is necessary and i only imagine that some poor poster, looking for constructive feedback would be bombarded with messages telling them to eat less carbs, more carbs, no sugar, no meat, not after 7, not for more than a 6 hour window not on Tuesdays where the moon is full and so on and so forth.
I just imagine that even the people who opt in with the best intentions would get little from it in practicality.4 -
Reading this while eating lemon meringue pie. Come at me bro!
OP, I understand where you are coming from, but there is so much dieting misinformation out there, that it would only take a few "you shouldn't be eating so much bread" or "you need to cut out all fruits and sugars" for the whole thing to turn into virtual throat punch Thursday.
If you have a bunch of like-minded peopke, it could work well. But my idea of healthy could vary considerably from yours, and others. That would be the challenge. As for making sure each person gets a message, a rotating roster would work. Keep moving down the list.3 -
BessSometimesJess wrote: »Guess I'll leave it then.
Shame that there's so much negativity on here, I didn't realise.
This statement is kind of proving everyones point. I don't see any negativity, just people stating their opinion but you are now offended by "negativity"11 -
Only if you share that delicious pie...nutmegoreo wrote: »Reading this while eating lemon meringue pie. Come at me bro!
1 -
I think you could build a great list of friends who would like to do something similar. I know when I first started I had lots of friends like that. We all realized eventually that our methods of staying on track were very different, so we stuck to generic comments like, "Great job getting lots of vegetables in!" or "Two hours of hiking! Nice work!" or even "Nice protein intake today and you fit a candy bar in!". Positive comments and knowing someone was looking went further than the constructive criticism/tips for my group of friends.5
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BessSometimesJess wrote: »Guess I'll leave it then.
Shame that there's so much negativity on here, I didn't realise.
Disagreement does not equal negativity. This idea does not work for many of the reasons already listed. Butt hurt, bad advice, etc etc.2 -
stephanieluvspb wrote: »BessSometimesJess wrote: »Guess I'll leave it then.
Shame that there's so much negativity on here, I didn't realise.
This statement is kind of proving everyones point. I don't see any negativity, just people stating their opinion but you are now offended by "negativity"
Well said here.2 -
Haha! Maybe a "Guess my weight based on my open diary" thread would be less offensive!
Well, go on. Guess! Haha!2 -
Haha! Maybe a "Guess my weight based on my open diary" thread would be less offensive!
Well, go on. Guess! Haha!
125 pounds @Elise42701 -
Haha! Maybe a "Guess my weight based on my open diary" thread would be less offensive!
Well, go on. Guess! Haha!
125 pounds @Elise4270
Aw thats no fair. Is that on my profile some where? I know I eat like I'm 225.
No, but I did cheat. I looked at your profile pictures. Calorie intake doesn't really say anything about weight. A 225 pound woman could have a goal of 1200 calories or 2600 calories depending on her goal, activity level, and exercise burns.1 -
Alluminati wrote: »""Good job on walking everyday! That's 'X' calories lost. That's the same amount as that chocolate bar on Wednesday"
Bahahahaha. If anyone ever said that to me they would get dick punched.
As in, in the dick or with one because...people round these parts may be a bit...
Freaky. 2 -
Haha! Maybe a "Guess my weight based on my open diary" thread would be less offensive!
Well, go on. Guess! Haha!
125 pounds @Elise4270
Aw thats no fair. Is that on my profile some where? I know I eat like I'm 225.
No, but I did cheat. I looked at your profile pictures. Calorie intake doesn't really say anything about weight. A 225 pound woman could have a goal of 1200 calories or 2600 calories depending on her goal, activity level, and exercise burns.
The avatar is of an Olympic athlete from Ethiopia. Political statement. But I think there are other pics in that folder too.
Great sleuthing!0 -
Haha! Maybe a "Guess my weight based on my open diary" thread would be less offensive!
Well, go on. Guess! Haha!
125 pounds @Elise4270
Aw thats no fair. Is that on my profile some where? I know I eat like I'm 225.
No, but I did cheat. I looked at your profile pictures. Calorie intake doesn't really say anything about weight. A 225 pound woman could have a goal of 1200 calories or 2600 calories depending on her goal, activity level, and exercise burns.
The avatar is of an Olympic athlete from Ethiopia. Political statement. But I think there are other pics in that folder too.
Great sleuthing!
You have two other pictures 1 -
@BessSometimesJess Why not create a group like this except that people only offer each other positive feedback? People might benefit from hearing about the good things about what they're doing. I'm not talking about blowing smoke, but I think this stuff can get overwhelming and leave people feeling like they're not doing anything right. It might be helpful to have people point out the positives.2
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distinctlybeautiful wrote: »@BessSometimesJess Why not create a group like this except that people only offer each other positive feedback? People might benefit from hearing about the good things about what they're doing. I'm not talking about blowing smoke, but I think this stuff can get overwhelming and leave people feeling like they're not doing anything right. It might be helpful to have people point out the positives.
This could work. Less chance for offense and less likely to derail someone. I mentioned upthread the snacking up until bedtime thing. I tried giving it up. I can't sleep on an empty stomach. Other people can't sleep on a full one. If someone "corrected" me they might do more harm than good.1
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