jealousy: just need to rant

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joyw37
joyw37 Posts: 38
in Motivation and Support
Last night, my fiance dropped off his son with his ex. I know she has lost a lot of weight the past year, and my stupid sense of curiosity got the better of me so I asked him how much. 98 lbs! 98 freaking lbs!! Okay, I recognize my reaction: Jealousy. Pure and simple. (okay, deeper even probably insecurity that now that she's lost the weight, he's secretly wanting her back, I Know that's bulls**t, but i'm honest enough to admit it). Then, my next reaction immediately was to EAT. Anything....EVERYTHING in sight. Luckily, I didn't completely lose it, still ate more good food than I should have, but didn't hit the ice cream or open a bottle of wine like my instinct told me to. But, the rest of the night, I felt down. Just seeing the mountain ahead of me sometimes seems so depressing. This is such a daily struggle for me. EATING MAKES ME HAPPY.

Replies

  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
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    You are much closer to your goal toady then you were yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. It is a long journey, but it's a trip worth taking.
  • Jenscan
    Jenscan Posts: 694 Member
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    You are much closer to your goal toady then you were yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that. It is a long journey, but it's a trip worth taking.

    THIS.

    And your honesty is going to help you in the long run too. We all have crazy feelings and thoughts - rant to us if you need to then keep it going. You got this!
  • dreamtoned10
    dreamtoned10 Posts: 163 Member
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    awww....I think anyone using this site can relate to "EATING MAKES ME HAPPY"...But you know what? Remember how happy you feel when you see a pound lost on the scale, or when somebody says you look like youve lost some weight etc. If shes also trying to lose weight,she was obviously also insecure about her weight and has the same body hangups about the rest of the female population!!

    Well done on having the sense to realise your feelings and know that its normal to be jealous sometimes!! Youre going to lose the weight too!! Why wouldnt you?!

    xx
  • kylee_marie
    kylee_marie Posts: 299 Member
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    he is not with his ex for a reason. he is with you. keep your focus on your goal and don't let her success derail yours! and kudos for admitting jealousy it took me a long time to admit i was jealous of my husbands friend
  • amber_hanners
    amber_hanners Posts: 388 Member
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    i understand this i felt these feelings my self more then once and every day is more of a struggle for me then anyone knows ( some days i give in like yesterday) and sometimes i do better ar fighting it but just never ever give up. food also makes me happy but thats why im trying to learn to cook good for u food that can also make me happy. keep ur head up : )
  • jeninne
    jeninne Posts: 412 Member
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    Rationally- do you really think he left her because of her weight? I doubt it. I agree with the statement that you need to do this weight thing for you. He is with you not for your weight or lack of it (gosh, at least I hope- that would be majorly shallow and you would not have gone for a shallow guy, right?) I think sometimes we women have more issues with other women than guys do- like how we dress, accessorize, look blah blah. Glad you stopped yourself before you self destructed- this site is great isn't it! We all care about ya 
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I heard this from some lady on NPR I think. She wrote a book. Like you, she said that eating made her happy. But then she said "If eating supposedly made me happy, then why wasn't I happy?" I thought that was kind of profound.
  • tinalatina
    tinalatina Posts: 499 Member
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    Hey Hun....You need to get those thoughts out of your head before you ruin your relationship with your man. Im speaking from experiance....In fact my daughter is with her daddy visiting for 3 weeks right now and it kills me knowing she is with her dad and HER(the new wifey!) I think we all have those types of feelings in this situation but you know what, I dont EVER let my daughter know how I feel. In fact me and my ex and his new fiance are friends and I hope to remain that way for the sake of my daughter. Once doubt and insecurity creeps in the mind it can do dangerous things. My ex did that to me, thats why he is an ex. He thought that i secretly wanted to get back with my daughters dad and created these unreal situations that caused our relationship to break. I mean, we didnt even live in the same State and he thought I was doing somthing. Im mean for real? haha Luckily god blessed me with a man in my life and all I could ever ask for.

    I think the best revenge for you is to loose the weight you need/want to and own it. Look great and feel great and be the best woman you could ever be for your man.
  • sparrows7
    sparrows7 Posts: 59
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    She is not more special than you are.

    Forget about her and focus on yourself and really love yourself and the journey you're going through. Just know that you will get there too and she is probably a crazy B and that is why your ex is not with her. :D
  • mummyflippers
    mummyflippers Posts: 70
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    I heard this from some lady on NPR I think. She wrote a book. Like you, she said that eating made her happy. But then she said "If eating supposedly made me happy, then why wasn't I happy?" I thought that was kind of profound.

    This.

    Bingeing doesn't make you happy. It's a way to try and drown out our emotions rather than express them and deal with them - in the same way a smoker, or a drinker, or a drug user would use their substance in times of stress or upset. It might feel like comfort for a moment, but it's not comfort.

    Hope you're ok.

    Louise x
  • joyw37
    joyw37 Posts: 38
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    Thanks everyone for the support. it has been a good day...thanks in part to you guys:)!!!

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