Getting discouraged and bad feedback from others
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Some of the best ever advice I've received -- Love yourself enough that you can know this about the naysayers in your life -- They need me more than I need them. You're doing so well. Don't get derailed.1
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I went from the picture on the left to the picture on the right. Like i said my scale at home says 180-185ish
So maybe something is wrong. Idk
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I remember a point when the scale change seems to slow down, yet physical appearance and clothing size continue to change...
-s
(Down about 90+ lbs. now)1 -
surly you didn't do it for the public, but for yourself, right? If you're happy with yourself than it doesn't matter what others think0
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lemurcat12 wrote: »Great job with the loss. It's up to you if you want to lose more or not.Some of my friends have said I look great, but I still get a lot of negative feedback saying I still don't look good in clothes or that I should lose more weight and it's really depressing.
Why are people commenting on your body or opining on whether you should lose more weight? How does this come up? Have you asked for their opinion? It just sounds odd to me. If they really are telling you things like you look bad in clothes and need to lose weight without being prompted, that does seem really aggressive and not like much of a friend, IMO.
Yep, my thoughts exactly.0 -
WinoGelato wrote: »Hey everyone..
I've been on my weight loss journey for about 2 years I was just about 230lbs when I started. I was a size 20 and took a size shirt between a 2x-3x I was a big girl for being 5'2"
Since then I've lost a lot of weight... Well I think I have. I'm down to about 185-180ish it goes between there. I'm stuck and can't get past there. Anyways. I know fit into juniors clothes and for women's I take a size 8. Shirts I take a size medium or sometimes a large.
Some of my friends have said I look great, but I still get a lot of negative feedback saying I still don't look good in clothes or that I should lose more weight and it's really depressing.
At the moment I can't upload a photo because of the computer I'm on. But still. I guess that's still not good enough now a days for the public eyes to see. They want everyone to be super skinny.
Are you in the US? That sizing doesn't sound quite right? I'm 5'2 also and was also in between a size 8-10 when I started but I was 155? I know the sizes vary quite a bit depending on where you shop and also from different countries the sizing is completely different.
One other comment on clothing... I find that whether you decide to lose more weight or stay where you are, getting clothes that fit properly at all sizes does make a difference to both how you look and how you feel. Some people are motivated by the fact that their clothes don't fit well and they have to lay down to zip their jeans, I found that totally discouraging and made me want to give up. When I got clothes, even in a bigger size, that were flattering on me, it made me want to continue to progress toward different styles in smaller sizes that made me look good and feel good!
I so resonate with this. When I gained 30 pounds back, I was grateful that I could still fit into my size sixes so I would not have to go clothes shopping (I don't like to shop at all), but the thing is that I practically poured my self into them. I mean they were tight stretchy pants that hurt. I did this so I (1) would not have to go clothes shopping and (2) because it kept me in denial about my health and that I needed to lose the weight. The bottom line is that I didn't think I was as overweight as I really was, which kept me from losing the weight for a really long time. I have decided I will never do that again.
That said, nobody ever said anything to me about my clothing, they just loved and accepted me as I was at that time, then congratulated me as I lost the weight. Well, when I lost the weight and wore proper clothing sizes, those size sixes were so stretched out that they were too big, starting to rip, and ended up in the garbage!!
There cannot be enough said about wearing proper size clothing because it I feel good in my clothing, which is really my second skin, then my day goes so much better!!
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lemurcat12 wrote: »Great job with the loss. It's up to you if you want to lose more or not.Some of my friends have said I look great, but I still get a lot of negative feedback saying I still don't look good in clothes or that I should lose more weight and it's really depressing.
Why are people commenting on your body or opining on whether you should lose more weight? How does this come up? Have you asked for their opinion? It just sounds odd to me. If they really are telling you things like you look bad in clothes and need to lose weight without being prompted, that does seem really aggressive and not like much of a friend, IMO.
Yep, my thoughts exactly.
Yeah, I wondered that. I've never, ever had someone tell me, unsolicited, that I didn't look good in my clothes or I should lose more weight. Maybe I got lucky with friends who weren't jerks LOL. B
ut yeah - if people are telling you, without you asking for their opinion, that you don't look good or need to lose weight, tell them to STFU.
If, however, these are the responses you're getting when asking for their opinion, well - if you ask for an opinion, you can't really be upset when they give one!0 -
I'm sure it depends on body composition. At 175 and 5'4" I wear a size 14 dress pant and jeans. I am close to fitting into a 12, but not yet.
Regarding the scale, is it sitting on a hard surface? Many won't work on carpet. If it is on a hard surface, can you rock it if you try to? Like a chair with uneven legs? If so, the surface is not level and that will often make them read differently depending on where exactly you stand on them. I don't keep my scale out all the time and anyone watching me set it up would probably laugh at me putting it down, trying to jiggle it, and moving it to a new location until I find a flat spot in the floor.0 -
You have made awesome progress and you really shouldn't be listening to friends, either the complimentary ones or the ones who believe themselves to be "truth-tellers".
You should listen to yourself.
Your stats still put you at significant raised health risks, your BMI is over 32 (maximum BMI in statistically healthier range is 25 would be 137lbs) and you are objectively carrying excess body fat particularly around your middle which is where they statistically estimate increased health risks.
Body fat is always hard to measure, but I just saw this on another thread (it's actually one of the better comparison images), basically for women the top row is within healthy ranges of body fat, the bottom row is outside (but clearly goes from a highly trained pre comp bodybuilder)
But if you are happy and healthy and your doctor is ok with your weight the rest is just personal body aesthetic preferences
50lbs is amazing progress, well done you
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You really so not need ayone approval nor will they tell you that you look good misery loves company be happy for yourself no one else great job keep up the great work not going to be easy but I'd it was everyone will be doing it0
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Hey everyone..
I've been on my weight loss journey for about 2 years I was just about 230lbs when I started. I was a size 20 and took a size shirt between a 2x-3x I was a big girl for being 5'2"
Since then I've lost a lot of weight... Well I think I have. I'm down to about 185-180ish it goes between there. I'm stuck and can't get past there. Anyways. I know fit into juniors clothes and for women's I take a size 8. Shirts I take a size medium or sometimes a large.
Some of my friends have said I look great, but I still get a lot of negative feedback saying I still don't look good in clothes or that I should lose more weight and it's really depressing.
At the moment I can't upload a photo because of the computer I'm on. But still. I guess that's still not good enough now a days for the public eyes to see. They want everyone to be super skinny.
Sorry I'm going to be a bit blunt here, but while you've done a great job losing so far, they're right you could do with losing more, just to get to a relatively heathy overweight rather than obese. I'm the same height as you and around the same weight and I need to lose at least another 40lb to get to a healthy weight (and that's the top end of healthy). If the numbers are too big then break them in to smaller chunks, but please don't consider anything below 180lb at 5'2" even skinny let alone super skinny. I'm under no illusions that I'm still fat at a UK 16 (which I believe is a US 10).1 -
What you have already done is a HUGE accomplishment. For those people to say you still don't look good is just demeaning and shouldn't be considered friends. Friends should motivate you and could choose their choice of words more carefully. But what they say and think does not matter one bit. What matters is what you think and how you feel. You should be proud. Whether you are at your goal or not, the fact that you are taking care of yourself is something to be proud of. You look amazing, you probably feel amazing, and you're healthy. That's all that matters.
Hugs to you!!0 -
I went from the picture on the left to the picture on the right. Like i said my scale at home says 180-185ish
So maybe something is wrong. Idk
Girl, you're looking great!!!
People who didn't go through weight loss think it is easy. Cut down kcal and go to gym 3-5 times a week and that's it. It sounds easy, but we all know it isn't. Like somebody said, keep your head up and be proud of how far you came... Keep going!!! Don't doubt yourself, you can do it!
There is always gonna be some negativity, that is just how it is. But don't let it affect you.0 -
Same thing happened to me. I lost 12 pounds, was proud of myself, was working out too. Then at a family party a family member was passing around cake and before I even said yes or no they said "it's not fattening". Then another family member started talking to me about how to lose weight. They didn't even notice. Then while describing to another family member why my shoulder was hurt, because of push ups on the wall. They said "well don't do so much because when you have a lot of excess weight you can get hurt". So, I see why fat people stay fat. It is depressing. However, I chose to stick my fingers in m ears and take comfort in my own awareness of how good I was doing. It's paying off. Don't listen. You are perfect the way you are. You lose weight for you not others anyway.2
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Hey everyone..
I've been on my weight loss journey for about 2 years I was just about 230lbs when I started. I was a size 20 and took a size shirt between a 2x-3x I was a big girl for being 5'2"
Since then I've lost a lot of weight... Well I think I have. I'm down to about 185-180ish it goes between there. I'm stuck and can't get past there. Anyways. I know fit into juniors clothes and for women's I take a size 8. Shirts I take a size medium or sometimes a large.
Some of my friends have said I look great, but I still get a lot of negative feedback saying I still don't look good in clothes or that I should lose more weight and it's really depressing.
At the moment I can't upload a photo because of the computer I'm on. But still. I guess that's still not good enough now a days for the public eyes to see. They want everyone to be super skinny.
Sorry I'm going to be a bit blunt here, but while you've done a great job losing so far, they're right you could do with losing more, just to get to a relatively heathy overweight rather than obese. I'm the same height as you and around the same weight and I need to lose at least another 40lb to get to a healthy weight (and that's the top end of healthy). If the numbers are too big then break them in to smaller chunks, but please don't consider anything below 180lb at 5'2" even skinny let alone super skinny. I'm under no illusions that I'm still fat at a UK 16 (which I believe is a US 10).
uk 16 is a 12 in the us according to one chart,according to another its what you quoted. every chart says something different probably due to vanity sizing here in the states0 -
You keep going and prove to them (and yourself) that you can do it. 50 lbs is awesome, by the way!1
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You have done so well so far--congratulations! Now YOU have to decide. Do you stop here? Yes, losing weight gets harder as you get smaller. That means a bigger commitment on your part. You will have to closely watch your intake--weigh and measure everything, and stay consistently within your calorie limit. You don't say if you're exercising, but this could help your look alot. Think about it and then do what's best for you. You are already a success, so go for the icing on the cake...cute huh?0
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Many people seem to think they have a right to comment on others bodies, looks, etc. You have to be happy with yourself and ignore everyone else. Are you happy with how you look? Is your doctor satisfied with the weight you are now? If yes to both, then you have to ignore others and outright state "I'm happy with how I look" when anyone says anything negative.
I've lost a lot of weight and fell in love with weight lifting, I've had several people tell me that I'm getting too muscular or that they don't like how I look now, and I always reply that I love how I look and I don't have enough muscle yet to my liking. It's my body, my decision on how I want my body to look. Feel free to add me if you want. I started out at 224 lbs and am 5'1ish as well.1
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