90 day in-process photos and report.

I am posting this because it hurts me mentally to see even my today pics. I am a self-deprecating mofo, but I am beyond BEYOND thankful I started in July as the 22lbs-lost (plus muscle gained, which is probably impossible to see within the pics) means I am a lot farther ahead than I would have been had I taken the lazy way - and ultimately depressed, sad, isolated way - and kept things as they were. This is almost 90 days of living in a calorie deficit - I tend to eat about 1400-1500 per day based on the database here on MFP. What that means in real life is ultimately of no matter because it's working. Averages are awful because the average almost never happens statistically. BUT...looks like about 1lbs per week. I am not even half way to my target - my target isn't a weight but my target is a feeling, a look, a pants-size. My target is to be 45 and pretty f'in hot, not just for an old guy.

Anyway - here attached is the worst of my body (technically a lie because at one point I was 10lbs even-heavier than in that July photo) compared to where I am today. No bragging nor any need of affirmation but maybe this post resonates with somebody and helps them feel encouraged to continue or to keep going.

Objectively my traps and collarbones are more defined; my nipples are more-aligned (because the fat under them is reduced), the hard-line under my gut - the 'Dunlap' syndrome - is reduced significantly - because one can actually see UNDER my gut. The vein in my left arm is no longer flat with the skin, there's slight elevation there. There's more appearance of density in the bicep area. Yes, today I am wearing underwear with little mustaches on them. MeUndies.com is super comfy stuff

Mentally I tend to be more-focused. Maybe that's a lie because I can often 'squirrel!!!' out of a conversation, so maybe what i mean is i am less ME-focused. I can walk through a store without thinking folks are staring at me; I can buy food without projecting disgust on anyone who sees me with food in my cart. I can walk around the house shirtless and scare only ONE of my dogs (she was a stray so there's no-tellin what scares she carries). I am no longer absolutely PETRIFIED at the thought of going to a beach or a pool - maybe because it's cold and rainy here in SW germany? Whatever. I am doing much better with measurably more confidence. It's not only the weight loss; it's the exercise. I probably visit the gym 3 days per week for about an hour. Free weights then cardio of some sort; and not just lazily riding the bike - when I'm done with cardio I tend to be spent. Barely able to walk.

Oh - and two days ago I ran 2 miles non-stop. It'd been since about June of 2000 since I last ran on purpose.

Anywho - here's the visual. Hope you haven't eaten.


For reference, I am about 6'1" or about 183cm