Not Sure Where to Go
horsesdontjudge
Posts: 32 Member
I think this is the right place to put this...
Anyway, I really don't know what I'm doing with my food and exercise. I'm generally maintaining although I'd like to lose another 5 lbs over time eventually. I'm eating ok in terms of calorie numbers (as a matter of fact some of my numbers would cause weight loss if the foods were right) but my diet is horrible. I'll get to the calorie goals through junk food and high calorie foods that aren't really anything but that: high calorie food. I'll go to the store and get fruits/veggies with great intentions of eating better, but then my family eats them. I'll end up have 10 out of the however many grapes are in the bag, 1 out of 8 apples bought, 4 baby carrots from the bag, etc.
I've tried to talk to my family about not giving other options (ex: no cookies in the house, the cookies aren't replaced just because they run out, no bringing me donuts and cake as surprises, etc) but it still happens. They will literally buy chips/cookies/candy/etc and then put it in my room so they don't eat it. And if I object they get annoyed/angry and go off about how I'm developing issues with food.
People say if you want it enough, you'll work for it. And I have been working for it. I've gotten better at saying no, I've been able to make a bag of candy last 5-6 days instead of 1-2. But it's still there and I'm still eating it.
I think my family has developed the attitude of not caring what I eat because I'm eating something. They perceive my diet as extremely limited (I'm a picky vegetarian) and me as 'sickly thin' (I'm not, but when their only comparisons are themselves-all obese-then there is a stark contrast). They also see my 1500ish (give or take a few hundred) calorie intake as 'starving myself' and are always trying to get me to eat more. I'd understand the sentiment if I was losing lots of weight rapidly or was about 15 lbs lighter, but as it stands right now I'm generally in good health. But if I keep going with how I'm eating now I won't stay that way. I need to eat more fruits and veggies and less of the junk I eat a lot of now. I'm already often tired (probably due to my diet) and I don't want it to get worse.
How can I help them understand that I need less of the junk food/sweets to be around so I'll actually eat the fruits/veggies I buy? I don't see any options other then to move out (I can't due to finances) or wait until my health is suffering enough that they see my weight doesn't mean I can eat crap all day.
Anyway, I really don't know what I'm doing with my food and exercise. I'm generally maintaining although I'd like to lose another 5 lbs over time eventually. I'm eating ok in terms of calorie numbers (as a matter of fact some of my numbers would cause weight loss if the foods were right) but my diet is horrible. I'll get to the calorie goals through junk food and high calorie foods that aren't really anything but that: high calorie food. I'll go to the store and get fruits/veggies with great intentions of eating better, but then my family eats them. I'll end up have 10 out of the however many grapes are in the bag, 1 out of 8 apples bought, 4 baby carrots from the bag, etc.
I've tried to talk to my family about not giving other options (ex: no cookies in the house, the cookies aren't replaced just because they run out, no bringing me donuts and cake as surprises, etc) but it still happens. They will literally buy chips/cookies/candy/etc and then put it in my room so they don't eat it. And if I object they get annoyed/angry and go off about how I'm developing issues with food.
People say if you want it enough, you'll work for it. And I have been working for it. I've gotten better at saying no, I've been able to make a bag of candy last 5-6 days instead of 1-2. But it's still there and I'm still eating it.
I think my family has developed the attitude of not caring what I eat because I'm eating something. They perceive my diet as extremely limited (I'm a picky vegetarian) and me as 'sickly thin' (I'm not, but when their only comparisons are themselves-all obese-then there is a stark contrast). They also see my 1500ish (give or take a few hundred) calorie intake as 'starving myself' and are always trying to get me to eat more. I'd understand the sentiment if I was losing lots of weight rapidly or was about 15 lbs lighter, but as it stands right now I'm generally in good health. But if I keep going with how I'm eating now I won't stay that way. I need to eat more fruits and veggies and less of the junk I eat a lot of now. I'm already often tired (probably due to my diet) and I don't want it to get worse.
How can I help them understand that I need less of the junk food/sweets to be around so I'll actually eat the fruits/veggies I buy? I don't see any options other then to move out (I can't due to finances) or wait until my health is suffering enough that they see my weight doesn't mean I can eat crap all day.
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Replies
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I know you probably don't really want to hear this and I know it is so much easier said than done but nobody is forcing you to eat it. Sure they are making it infinitely harder by essentially pushing it on you but if you say no often enough they will give up.
And what you eat doesn't matter for weight loss. As you say, for health it absolutely does but that 5lbs isn't going to come off if you eat the same number of calories in veggies instead of cookies.
So yes, you have to want it enough, you can't rely on other people to be the gatekeepers of your health.6 -
From your family's point of view: You're talking about how you don't want the food you're buying and you *do* want the food they're "pushing" on you, so I can understand why they are getting the impression that you feel deprived. It sounds like you might be sending some mixed messages, which is understandable -- many of us do have mixed feelings about food.
But resolving and working through these is going to be important for your long-term health (emotionally, not just physically) -- you can't ask your family to do what you're unwilling to do. Nobody is *ever* going to care about what we eat as much as we do. If you want your family to know that what you eat is important to you, you're going to have to lead the way and demonstrate it.5 -
I put notes on food: Mom's (do not eat ) if it is something I've measured out for lunch the next day, for example. Also I will make up a large salad ahead of time. Usually there is plenty for anyone who wants a serving.
I buy frozen bagged vegetables and take out serving sizes of those. You can microwave or cook on stover top for 10-15 min. It's fairly quick. Also I will cook homemade soups with veggies. These are great in the little soup bowls with the vent that go from freezer to microwave to fridge. --- these are just a few ideas. Kiddos are unlikely to pull those out of freezer to eat. If they do I'd be impressed.
As far as fruit goes you can buy them frozen and make smoothies out of them with vegetarian protein powder. Then you get a protein serving with carb so you won't be as hungry.2 -
VintageFeline wrote: »So yes, you have to want it enough, you can't rely on other people to be the gatekeepers of your health.
I second that! I would not be ok with anyone family or not forcing food on me.
Just because it is there does not mean you have to eat it. Is it hard? Yes. I have three children and keep snacks in my pantry all the time. I choose not to eat them. When I do eat them and go off the rails, I can't blame anyone else. I'm not going to stop buying the things my family likes to eat. I need to exercise greater willpower.
I'd keep putting the the cookies, candy, treats, etc. back into the kitchen every time they put them in my room.3 -
You can't make them change their way of thinking. If they get offended when you don't take the treats they offer (and assuming you'd prefer not to make it a battle) then accept it, say thanks, and discretely dispose of it if you don't want it.
If you are at a healthy weight, and your goal of a few more pounds is also healthy (I don't know, this is something you would need to assess) then don't worry about what family/friends say. If they are overweight, they may feel guilty seeing you as its a reminder of what they should do for themselves. Don't discuss your weight loss goals with people who have no interest in hearing about it. Live by example, and share your 'how' and 'why' if asked.
As to what you eat: if you're eating the right # of calories per day and are meeting your nutritional needs (protein, vitamins, etc.) then the 'what' does not really matter. Of course it would be hard to feel satisfied/full and meet your nutritional needs on 1500 cals of chips. Though being vegetarian may mean you need to make a little extra effort to hit your protein needs and such.2 -
Is moving out an option?0
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I am the only one in my household on a restricted intake of food (calories). There is ice cream in the house for my husband and various other treats. I have terrible willpower and for the longest time couldn't resist. But I got fed up and I guess, mentally, I got in the right place.
So, now I just don't eat it. Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to eat it. Tell your family NO. If they get offended or an attitude, it's on them. Just don't engage in it.0 -
So, when you buy the healthy food, do you keep it in your bedroom? If you can't move out cause of finances, can you at least buy yourself a little refrigerator to keep perishables in it in your room.....something you would have to do if you lived in a dorm at school.
Honestly, willpower is going to have come into play at some point. This is your life....nobody can make you feel inferior (or eat food that is not of your liking), even your parents. I just looked at your profile and confirmed that you are young but you are 21 and an adult. Speak up respectfully, but firmly. If you are not in school, then assuming you are working. If you are doing neither, then sitting at home looking with access to food all day is really not the best situation.
Just throw the crap out...in fact put it in the garbage can where they can see it. Do that enough times and they will get pissed and not buy it anymore.2 -
Your family members buy junk food that they do not want to eat and then store it in your bedroom so that they do not eat it. Then they eat the food that you buy instead. Something is not making sense here.
What are your height and weight?5 -
How old are you?1
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I put notes on food: Mom's (do not eat ) if it is something I've measured out for lunch the next day, for example. Also I will make up a large salad ahead of time. Usually there is plenty for anyone who wants a serving.
I buy frozen bagged vegetables and take out serving sizes of those. You can microwave or cook on stover top for 10-15 min. It's fairly quick. Also I will cook homemade soups with veggies. These are great in the little soup bowls with the vent that go from freezer to microwave to fridge. --- these are just a few ideas. Kiddos are unlikely to pull those out of freezer to eat. If they do I'd be impressed.
As far as fruit goes you can buy them frozen and make smoothies out of them with vegetarian protein powder. Then you get a protein serving with carb so you won't be as hungry.
I'm gonna try these things. That sounds like it'd be really helpful for me (especially the freezer to microwave to fridge stuff)1 -
BusyRaeNOTBusty wrote: »Is moving out an option?
Not at the moment. It's something I'm trying to work towards (hopefully within the next 12-18 months)0 -
mysteps2beauty wrote: »So, when you buy the healthy food, do you keep it in your bedroom? If you can't move out cause of finances, can you at least buy yourself a little refrigerator to keep perishables in it in your room.....something you would have to do if you lived in a dorm at school.
Honestly, willpower is going to have come into play at some point. This is your life....nobody can make you feel inferior (or eat food that is not of your liking), even your parents. I just looked at your profile and confirmed that you are young but you are 21 and an adult. Speak up respectfully, but firmly. If you are not in school, then assuming you are working. If you are doing neither, then sitting at home looking with access to food all day is really not the best situation.
Just throw the crap out...in fact put it in the garbage can where they can see it. Do that enough times and they will get pissed and not buy it anymore.
I'm at school during the day three days a week and go out on the weekends and that's very helpful. I'll talk to my parents about a fridge for perishables 'cause that's a good idea. I used to have one about 5 years ago at boarding school and it was very useful then. Maybe we can either dig it up or get another inexpensive one0 -
Your family members buy junk food that they do not want to eat and then store it in your bedroom so that they do not eat it. Then they eat the food that you buy instead. Something is not making sense here.
What are your height and weight?
I'm 5'4 and haven't weighed super recently so I'm not entirely sure how much I weigh0 -
gebeziseva wrote: »How old are you?
210 -
Back in the day, I'd sneak out of the house to get a high-calorie sweet treat. Maybe you could try the opposite: when you're at school or otherwise out of the house, take any opportunity to have a piece of fruit or some veggies. Healthy foods are all over the place--find a way to eat 'em in peace!
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