Binging for 2 weeks because of loneliness
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I'm with you on the binge eating. Chips & popcorn are my weaknesses & I've binged plenty of times myself over the course of me changing my eating lifestyle but I just own it & move on. If you can't do that, move on, & based on your comment that its been 2 weeks, seek counseling, individual or group, there maybe another underlying issue that needs resolved.
Now as for the meeting & attracting the opposite sex, since you said you're not shy put yourself out there. Like post your photo on MFP for starters Just know rejection is a part of the meeting process & life in general. It's going to happen. As others on here have suggested volunteer, use social media, dating sites, try meditation, join a gym, walk your neighborhood or a park, staying active will keep your mind off binging & being lonely. You need to love & invest in yourself first & foremost because if you don't then who else will? And don't forget to project a positive attitude. People take notice in how you present yourself. Women don't want to be around or socialize with a "sad sack" if you know what i mean. You start implementing some of the ideas suggested to you & things will improve. Trust & belive that! Good luck!6 -
I can empathise. I live alone - but that in itself doesn't bother me. However it can be lonely but I work on not allowing myself to become absorbed by the loneliness as that's a path down a dark hole.
There's no magic wand that will fix it.
People are attracted to those who are positive and have an aura of being in control of their lives.
Focus on being positive about where you are going and what you want to achieve.
Believe in your own greatness and ability.
Focus on you.1 -
lonelyness is not forcing you to eat more.
lack of willpower is.
seperate the two0 -
Stumbled upon this thread, whoa....
Is OP still out there somewhere?
I found the post sharing experience of weight loss from 493 pounds really informative. OP are you facing similar challenges? I think he also mentioned therapy.
OP have you tried to find a therapist that you can talk to about all the issues you may be having?
It's great that you're reaching out to mfp community for support. Depending on how vulnerable you may be, it may be hard to sort through the different kinds of we'll intended responses that may be too wide, too general to adapt to your unique circumstances. The suggestions to serk therapy are to help you find a unique individualized support system. Of course mfp community has shown it will be there for you.
The responses and various suggestions in the thread are pointing out some actions or steps you can take to move towards the life you want.
OP have you thought about what you'd like to do next?
Are you logging your food entries daily? All it takes is one day at a time. If you follow that every day, and eat the calories mfp says, then mfp guarantees you will lose weight. Are you ready to make that commitment for yourself to improve your life?
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if the OP is still around....
happiness is an inside job. no one can really make you feel complete. it might help sometimes but in the end, it's up to you. by putting your happiness as someone else's responsiblity, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
get out, join meet up groups, take group dance lessons, and find confidence. While you are building yourself up, you make yourself more attractive to others.
life is as meaningful as you make it. volunteering is good. that gives meaning. me, i find meaning in being the best person i can be. helping other people out. giving my pets a good and enriched life.
a quick story. high school was rough for me. i went home and cried most days. but i always tried to say hi and smile at people no matter the storm inside me. on the last day of school, a girl walked up to me and gave me a present with a card. it was a candle and the card said that she had been thinking about killing herself because she thought no one saw her. that she was invisible and her life was inconsequential. and then i smiled and asked her how she was doing one day and that made all the difference. now she is married and has beautiful kids and has a life she loves.
while you may think your life is meaningless, you never know what you might mean to other.
keep trudging that road to happy destiny.6 -
Hi there OP. I am new here and I saw this thread. I have been where you are now. Back then, I was overweight. I weighed 320 lbs but my confidence was still there. Growing up my defense mechanism was (still is) to make people laugh. I eventually got used to it where every time someone makes a joke about my weight, I just make a joke back and laugh it off. But it would still hurt. I probably made a lot of friends because I was thinking positively. I did nothing to lose the weight because I was happy at the time.
Then, I got in a fight with my family, lost my job, and everything was spiraling down. When I questioned my self-worth, I lost my confidence. I went into a cycle of eating to make myself happy but would feel bad about myself because of my weight. I gained weight to about 410 lbs. I was so depressed to the point of thinking about doing self-harm. This went on for a year.
I got out of my depression because I had enough of feeling bad about myself. I didn't want it to rule my life anymore. It was hard to break free from that cycle. I decided to take up Boxing. It was fun. My coach was very supportive. I lost 70 lbs in two months. It took some time to get my confidence back but I was happy again. Oh, and I was single when all this happened. I understand how hard it is to not have someone to confide, to hug, or to cry on. But I relied on myself to pull through.
Now I'm here because I want to shed some of this weight and get to under 200 lbs. I know I can do it. I just have to remind myself to stay strong and never go back to that depression again. I hope this can help you in some way, OP. I know that you have it in you to get out of that negative mentality. I am here to make friends, get support and give support to people. So if you want someone to talk to, you can message me.
Ganbbatte! OP!4 -
Awesome post thanks for sharing your personal struggle, I hope OP reaches out to you. So glad you found boxing and stuff to make you see life can be happy1
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i'm probably going to feel like a meanie 15 minutes from now, but poor impulse control.
lonelyobeseguy, i'm not in a sympathy mood. the question is: take a wild guess at how long you'll probably live and then subtract your age now. are you willing to spend that many years feeling the way you do now? or even able to? because if not, you'd better do something.
people do live their entire lives or large parts of it without being seriously loved, or getting happily laid. just supposing you're one of them, imo you need to make a plan.3 -
Curious post.
Did the OP leave mfp?0 -
You have received some great advice. You will find that as you work on yourself and your weight issues (whatever those might be) that the other stuff will start to fall into place.
I am no expert and I can only offer my own situation as an example. In January 2016 (10 months ago), I started this journey at 378 Lbs. I am now down 131 Lbs. Prior to starting to this journey, I was massively overweight and felt awful about myself. When my family and/or friends would ask me to do something fun or to try to help me in any way, I would say no to everything. I didn't think I was depressed at the time but looking at it from a new perspective, I know that was my main problem. I had a friend say the other day that not only do I look different physically but that I also now seem to be happy all the time. I have to agree that I am now happy and it's because I feel good about myself. I know I am still obese and have a lot more time to devote to reshaping my life. (Pun intended!) I now work out every day in a way that makes sense to me. I go and do fun things with family and friends and it has made a huge difference in my life and what makes me happy.
I went to Six Flags a few weeks ago, something I wouldn't have done a year ago and it was great fun. It wasn't all perfect, especially when the attendant had to take off a ride because I was too fat. What I told myself was that hopefully by next summer, I will be able to ride and how good that would feel to have accomplished that much.
The difference is inside me because I know I will complete this journey and that keeps my head on straight and happy. What I get to the end of the journey doesn't matter because I have already changed my life completely. I know it's hard to accept but nobody can make you happy except yourself.
Surround yourself with supportive people, like the ones here at MFP, who will encourage you in your moments of self doubt, depression and loneliness as it will help you to cope.3 -
shredcamps wrote: »lonelyness is not forcing you to eat more.
lack of willpower is.
seperate the two
But The food keeps you company when you're having a *kitten* day1 -
Love food as company love it love it
but seriously,, OP hopefully you are getting some help2 -
"and I know I should be happy alone, but is that really true? "
You can definitely feel lonely and sad, while striving to be at peace with yourself overall.
This song helped me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDPW_g2AhAU0 -
shredcamps wrote: »lonelyness is not forcing you to eat more.
lack of willpower is.
seperate the two
But The food keeps you company when you're having a *kitten* day
oh grow up. your not 3 yrs old. show some willpower0 -
OP: I hope you use some of the great advice that's been offered here. I agree that you should flesh out your profile and post a photo and get more involved here. I started at 323 a while ago and I'm currently in the 260s, with another 75 to go. It took a long time to get this heavy, it ain't comin' off overnight. So jump in bro...!!
And get off the pity pot. Make some positive effort for your own good. You CAN do this...2 -
totes agree with @vikinglander that you should post a pic and get involved, support others and recieve support. Have you joined any of those threads asking for friend adds for people who have to lose 100+?0
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shredcamps wrote: »shredcamps wrote: »lonelyness is not forcing you to eat more.
lack of willpower is.
seperate the two
But The food keeps you company when you're having a *kitten* day
oh grow up. your not 3 yrs old. show some willpower
Oh, grow a sense of humor! And what's with your spelling!
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OP glad you are out there and will reach out for support. Please also get some therapy or appropriate professional help. You have to want it for yourself. I'm not a professional but know that I do care that you get the help you need. Also know that very many on mfp also care that you get better. You are not alone.0
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LipSmackingFun wrote: »...Tabbycat00, since you brought it up, I'mma comment. I dislike when people try to push their religion onto others unprovoked. Especially vulnerable. If someone is to enter into something like such, it should be because they genuinely believe it, not because they feel it will get them in touch with more people. Maybe recommend things said religion would recommend him to do, instead, such as volunteer work, etc. Without pushing the religion itself.
She didn't push. She only suggested. Big difference.LipSmackingFun wrote: »...Tabbycat00, since you brought it up, I'mma comment. I dislike when people try to push their religion onto others unprovoked. Especially vulnerable. If someone is to enter into something like such, it should be because they genuinely believe it, not because they feel it will get them in touch with more people. Maybe recommend things said religion would recommend him to do, instead, such as volunteer work, etc. Without pushing the religion itself.
She didn't push. She only suggested. Big difference.
So true!0 -
LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »Thank you for all the responses......sorry I don't have the energy to reply to each of you...I do volunteer....For awhile I was happy alone but one day it just started sinking in and I really wanted to experience romantic love...I feel miserable all the time because I just want a girlfriend....and I know I should be happy alone, but is that really true? I feel like most people get into relationships and wouldn't want to be single their whole lives like I am...
I think you need to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. My friend, you should look into therapy and maybe talk to your PCP about some anti-depressants.0 -
LonelyObeseGuy wrote: »I've never had any kind of non platonic experience, haven't gone on a date or kissed much less had a girlfriend....I'm not shy but I guess females think I look creepy or something...The loneliness has been getting to me....I have worked, over the years at bettering myself, getting more marketable skills, being better at my job, working on my interests, hobbies, but I still feel like I'm missing an experience I'd like to have...And now it's sabotaging my effort to lose weight and get healthy because eating makes me feel good and I never feel good except when I'm asleep and that doesn't count since I'm not awake to feel it...my friends don't even mention girls to me any more, and my family keeps telling me it's OK if I'm gay (but I'm not), it's like my friends don't see me as capable of attracting a girl.
You need to get some game bro. Confidence is what attracts girls.
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You are suffering from depression. It isn't you, how your look, or anything you've done .. it is a medical condition that can be treated. So, you need to go to a doctor and get help. Also.. eating healthy and exercising actually helps with depression. It doesn't happen overnight.. but after a few weeks it truly does help.
You need to realize it is not you..it is a false perception you are getting from a chemical imbalance going on in your brain. You can feel better.. and then the work you're doing on your interests and physical body will pay off and you'll meet the right girl.0 -
wrote: »Curious post.
Did the OP leave mfp?
Nope, he just made a new thread: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10473407/i-hate-my-life/p10
This discussion has been closed.
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