It's been one month since I've binged/purged.

MissTattoo
MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
edited October 2016 in Motivation and Support
I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder in 2015 and with CBT (Cognitive-behavioral therapy) I'm in a better place. I didn't actually start purging until the beginning of this year and it wasn't consistent. When we think of eating disorders, we think of people who don't eat and are rail thin. It was hard finding a doctor who wasn't basically saying "Put the fork down." I'm glad I found a therapist who specialized in eating disorders and other addictions.

I'm happy to say it's now been one month since I've binged uncontrollably or purged! It's been rough because this time of year is stressful at my job and I'm in a constant state of stress and exhaustion. I've had some screaming matches with my internal self and I'm happy to report I've won each one so far.

I've started a Youtube channel to document my recovery and fitness journey!

Some days it's an hour by hour kind of day. Other days I recognize my triggers and I get through them without turning to food. It's going to be a long road, but I'm excited about this milestone.

Replies

  • PriceK01
    PriceK01 Posts: 834 Member
    Congrats on your one month free of binging. I know it's difficult :)
  • jessiferrrb
    jessiferrrb Posts: 1,758 Member
    Great job!
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    Thanks! It is difficult sometimes. When I'm upset my mind goes straight to comfort food to give me that shot of feel good hormones. It certainly isn't easy as some people would like to believe.
  • BigTandthesquatters
    BigTandthesquatters Posts: 151 Member
    edited October 2016
    Very cool. It wasn't until I found a good mental health practitioner that things really started to go well for me. I am glad for you not only have you found success, but you are owning your struggle. I think all this is very cool. OMG what a great smile you have(watched the video).
  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
    Binging is one thing, but purging is something completely different. Should that happen again you should seek the help of a doctor as soon as possible. If you lose control and eat too much one day, then make it up the next few days, but never purge, it does all sorts of nasty damage to your stomach, esophagus, mouth, throat, teeth, etc. Congrats on your 1 month! Maybe try not denying yourself the things you like, but practice moderation instead. Eat what you want, but stay within your calorie goals. If there aren't enough calories for that, then exercise more. It's much better than damaging your body. You may find, in the end, that you love exercise, get addicted to it, and eat a ton just to keep up with your body's demands. Win win. I have to eat somewhere between 2600-3k calories a day just to keep up with the level of exercise that I enjoy.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    Spliner1969 wrote: »
    Binging is one thing, but purging is something completely different. Should that happen again you should seek the help of a doctor as soon as possible. If you lose control and eat too much one day, then make it up the next few days, but never purge, it does all sorts of nasty damage to your stomach, esophagus, mouth, throat, teeth, etc. Congrats on your 1 month! Maybe try not denying yourself the things you like, but practice moderation instead. Eat what you want, but stay within your calorie goals. If there aren't enough calories for that, then exercise more. It's much better than damaging your body. You may find, in the end, that you love exercise, get addicted to it, and eat a ton just to keep up with your body's demands. Win win. I have to eat somewhere between 2600-3k calories a day just to keep up with the level of exercise that I enjoy.

    It goes so far beyond just eating bad things or having cheat days. It's not a craving either. I was using it as a coping mechanism. As my therapist said, addicts trade one addiction for another. I was binging on water and hummus. Yeah, it's good for you, but not when you're eating it to the point that you're uncomfortable. Binging because you've restricted yourself to nothing and binging because your brain is telling you it's the only way you will get over xyz are different.

    I don't mean to sound all special snowflake about my issues, but some days it was crippling thinking about even consuming anything because I felt like I would lose control.
  • Hamsibian
    Hamsibian Posts: 1,388 Member
    Congratulations on one month! You are a very strong person, not just for working on it, but also sharing your story with us.
  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    It goes so far beyond just eating bad things or having cheat days. It's not a craving either. I was using it as a coping mechanism. As my therapist said, addicts trade one addiction for another. I was binging on water and hummus. Yeah, it's good for you, but not when you're eating it to the point that you're uncomfortable. Binging because you've restricted yourself to nothing and binging because your brain is telling you it's the only way you will get over xyz are different.

    I don't mean to sound all special snowflake about my issues, but some days it was crippling thinking about even consuming anything because I felt like I would lose control.

    Well you are doing great this last month, so keep up the good work. Sometimes consistency is what pulls you out of the fire. Just keep on doing what you're doing. ;)
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    Congrats! I'm a mostly recovered anorexic binge/purge subtype so I understand how hard it is
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    singingflutelady wrote: »
    Congrats! I'm a mostly recovered anorexic binge/purge subtype so I understand how hard it is

    Congrats on recovery!
  • singingflutelady
    singingflutelady Posts: 8,736 Member
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    singingflutelady wrote: »
    Congrats! I'm a mostly recovered anorexic binge/purge subtype so I understand how hard it is

    Congrats on recovery!

    I still fall into the restrict-binge cycle but haven't purged on a long time!
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    edited October 2016
      I'm really happy for you. I stopped seeing my therapist this month and it has been rough, but I'm getting through the days!
  • fposte2016
    fposte2016 Posts: 130 Member
    This is a wonderful milestone -- it's so hard to get a handle on the mental health issues that drive bad physical habits. I hope this doesn't sound patronizing, but you should be incredibly proud of yourself.
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    fposte2016 wrote: »
    This is a wonderful milestone -- it's so hard to get a handle on the mental health issues that drive bad physical habits. I hope this doesn't sound patronizing, but you should be incredibly proud of yourself.

    It doesn't sound that way at all. Thank you!

    This was probably the worst time of year for me to leave my therapist, but I can't have him for life, you know?
  • mactaffy428
    mactaffy428 Posts: 61 Member
    That's great. I don't personally know the hell of binging (other than on Thanksgiving), but I've had friends who struggle with this. Way to go! Keep up with your therapy.
  • chocolate_owl
    chocolate_owl Posts: 1,695 Member
    Congratulations! I can relate to the binging-on-water thing, I would do that just so I could purge when I was in an emotionally awful place. Getting past that was huge progress for me. Way to go on your first month purge-free, hope to see an update when you hit month #2 :)
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    I'm honestly not sure exactly how to say what I want to say. It's nothing "bad" - I just don't know if it'll come across properly, as I don't have any close experience with this.

    So, I'll just say congratulations, good job, and keep up the good work. And that I'm glad you seem to be in a better place now.
  • fposte2016
    fposte2016 Posts: 130 Member
    MissTattoo wrote: »
    fposte2016 wrote: »
    This is a wonderful milestone -- it's so hard to get a handle on the mental health issues that drive bad physical habits. I hope this doesn't sound patronizing, but you should be incredibly proud of yourself.

    It doesn't sound that way at all. Thank you!

    This was probably the worst time of year for me to leave my therapist, but I can't have him for life, you know?

    Oh man, that just makes it more impressive. But I know there are some lower cost mental health services out there (if that was the reason you left) that you should line up now while things are going well just in case it gets overwhelming again. Anything that makes it easier to reach for help in the moments when all you want to do is isolate yourself. Congrats again.
  • Mersie1
    Mersie1 Posts: 329 Member
    YAHOO!!!!! Well done! Recovery is so damn hard, but it is possible as you are seeing!!!
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    Congrats! I've been on MFP for years. It ended up messing with my relationship with food for the worse. I was just calling therapists this weekend. I hope I can quit it with the binges and outlandish food choices I make as well.

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