How to get significant other involved?

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hsnider29
hsnider29 Posts: 394 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
My fiance and I have been together for 13 years and we have 2 kids. When we met we were both pretty thin but it was due to alot of drinking and partying. As time progressed we both put on weight but I reached my limit when my daughter was about 6 months old and I've lost 38 lbs. I still have off days or weeks, but I try to eat healthy, cook healthy and buy healthy snacks.

Everyday he says that he will start eating better but he never does. Just last night we were talking and he told me he hadn't ate that much that day (he had 2 sweet and salty granola bars and a plum for breakfast, 11/2 italian sausage on a roll with onions and peppers for lunch and a huge bowl of chicken fettuccini and a sald with loads of cheese and dressing for dinner and 4 cookies and chips and salsa for snack). I explained that that was a huge amount of food (even for a guy) and he was making poor food choices. He also complains that he is always hungry.

He has a really active job and he will walk with me, get on the elliptical or lift weights but I can't get him to understand that his diet is the most important thing he needs to change. He is 5'11 and about 240-250 lbs. He complains constantly about how he feels and looks but I get so tired of him not changing it. I feel like a nagging ***** most of the time too, which I hate.

Anybody have any pointers or tips to get him involed? I have 2 kids and occasionally buy treats for them and I don't think they need to be punished because their dad has no self control. If they want cookies once and a while I will buy them. I stock the house with plenty of fruits and veggies and cook pretty healthy dinner 6 nights a week. We may get Subway once a week or have salads/sandwhichs once a week.

Replies

  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    It sounds like you are doing as much as you can do - you are cooking healthy meals and keeping healthy food at home.
    He is an adult and if he wants to eat junk, there is nothing you can do to stop him. I think you just have to keep making healthy choices for you, cook good meals so you know he is having a good dinner and wait until he decides for himself that he needs to make some changes.
    If he says he wants to make changes but doesn't know where to start, then you can help.
    It would be an interesting exercise to set him up on MFP to work out how many cals he should be eating in a day (with a moderate or small weight loss goal like 1/2 or 1 pound) - then if you are feeling really kind you could make him brekky, lunch, dinner and some snacks one day to give him an idea of how much he could eat in a day and still have a healthy and balanced diet. I think most people (especially men) freak out at the idea of "diet" and think they will have to subsist on grilled chicken breast and celery.
  • whathappenedtome
    whathappenedtome Posts: 7
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    You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. My husband is just the same. I have lost 45 lbs. in the last 5 months, he has gained 5 Just keep making healthy meals and set a positive example for him. Don't nag, just accept what is and pray that he will snap to it one day.

    Good luck with your own weight loss and healthy living.

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