Need to gain weight - anorexia

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soni_x
soni_x Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone!

So I started off being 147 pounds at 5'3 and had horrible eating habits. I made up my mind to lose weight after coming
back from a trip where I did nothing but eat. I started off slow and changed my eating habits to consume healthier foods. I was eating more home food, veggies and fruits, and eating "junk" food in moderation.

I started losing weight gradually and I was happy. Soon, I added exercise to my routine. I was never obsessed with exercising or anything. I did what I could and when I had time. But it made me feel healthier and better. The weight was coming off and then without realizing, I was becoming more obsessed with losing weight. I started watching what I ate more and more, I started exercising more, and I restricted myself of things like chocolate, high calorie food.

Eventually, I was restricting my calories a lot, exercising and just created a world for myself that revolved around calories and food. It took me awhile to realize how badly I was hurting my body. I dropped down to underweight range.

Right now, I weigh 100 pounds and I know that is unhealthy. I recently just told my parents my weight and how I need to gain and they are supporting me completely. I want to be in the range of 120-125. I am tired of making my world revolve around food and I am tired of having this constant fear that I'll get fat again.

Yesterday was my first day of recovery and I consumed 3500 calories+. Although I know that eating more can't hurt at this point and that I need to eat, at times, I get that guilty feeling. It's such a struggle to gain weight because mentally my mind keeps saying no no no. I am determined to reach my healthy weight but I need some motivation, support to keep me on track.

If there are former anorexics who have recovered, how did you do it? how many calories were you eating every day? etc

Replies

  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
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    if you have a serious eating problem..you probably need to seek professional help. not trying to be mean..but really.
  • cabul3
    cabul3 Posts: 210 Member
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    i haven't struggled with anorexia, but i want to commend you for reaching out for help to become healthy again! you will find a lot of support here, and *most* people will be positive and willing to help you!!
  • Olivia1977
    Olivia1977 Posts: 84 Member
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    Yes, you may need professional help!!

    I do know how it can become a mental game. Although my bmi has been really low at times it has never been underrange but I totally understand the fear of regaining weight..
  • Tracy184
    Tracy184 Posts: 74
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    I agree that you should seek professional help. It's a good idea to explore the feelings that led to your anorexia in the first place, so you'll be better equipped to stay healthy.

    In the meantime, maybe start slower. It's easy to feel overstuffed and guilty when eating 3500 calories per day. Try eating 2000 calories per day. When that feels ok, try 2200, then maybe 2500 depending on your weight gain. If you're underweight, your body should want to put on weight once you're feeding it enough.

    Not a doctor or anything, but I hope this helps a little.
  • DeBiKin
    DeBiKin Posts: 107 Member
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    The most difficult thing is realizing it, and you have, congratulations. It can truly sneak up on you.
    I don't know how long ago you started, how long it took you to get down to 100 or how long you have been too thin but those may be factors too.
    Many years ago I lost too much weight but I could still see the excess fat that I had remaining. I look back at pictures of me from that time period and I really didn't look good. It wasn't people telling me that I lost too much weight, it was that I had something (extremely personal) derail me (so a bad thing turned out to be a good thing in my case). It still took a long time to regain the weight. I went on and stopped caring and eventually put on too much weight (but that took years and is another story).
    I do not disagree that professional help is wise but I imagine you will find support on MFP from people with a similar problem (I'm sure that is why the goal settings for "gaining weight" is on the site too).
    Don't worry about becoming obese, just come up with a healthy plan and when you reach a healthy weight then change your goals to the weight maintenance settings.

    You can do this!!! :flowerforyou:

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  • karenkwalker
    karenkwalker Posts: 155 Member
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    I also commend you for reaching out for help! Many eating disorders revolve around control. It would be good to maybe speak with a professional that can help you get to the root of the issue - eating disorders are often a symptom of childhood trauma, or grief, or feeling out of control in your life. Many people suffer in silence with eating disorders - so good for you for breaking you silence and letting your parents know, etc. Finding the middle of anything is where harmony lives - so restricting or overeating either end is chaotic for your mind and your body. I agree that perhaps starting slower and building up would be easier on your mind and body. Good luck for your journey - friend me if you want - we are here for you!
  • theawesome
    theawesome Posts: 1
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    I am your height - 5'3 - and I dropped down to about 93-95 pounds when I was anorexic or had some type of eating disorder. Currently I weigh 126. It's hard to start eating normally again, but just do it. You will feel a lot better and stronger. Although, I would suggest NOT to consume a huge amount of calories, eat about 2,000 - 2,500 (depending on how much you exercize). Once you get to your healthy goal weight, simply maintain that weight by eating enough calories. I did not control how much I ate and ending up binge eating for some time, and then I gained too much back. Measure how much you eat, but if you over eat it's okay. The most important thing is to be healthy, being underweight can be just as bad as being overweight.

    It's good that you have the support of your parents. I didn't tell anyone about my anorexia and that led to some emotional problems and my binge eating habits. So get as much support as you need! Congratulations on beating the disease!!!
  • nomoreanorexic
    nomoreanorexic Posts: 1
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    I too have lost a significant amount of weight in the past few months. I liked seeing the numbers on the scale go down everyday. when i was below 110 lbs, i knew there was a problem. (i had started out at 128). i wanted to keep losing weight but i knew i couldn't. i already have a medical condition that effects me so much every day. I have to work every day to eat enough. its so much easier to just not eat, not care about me, but i know its not good. i havent been able to eat 2,000 calories a day yet, but i'm working up to it, or trying to. any ideas of high calorie, low fat food? i cant seem to get enough. i've gained some weight, im up to 116 now. but still have a ways to go. would love support and help with this! (im new to this whole community thing, only found this web site about two weeks ago)
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
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    I think its awesome that you're reaching out, telling your story and you're on the road to recovery. That takes so much courage. I have never struggled with annorexia, but I can say just focus on one day at a time? Don't stress about yesterday or tomorrow. You can get through this. Congrats on taking your first and biggest step by recognizing there's a problem.

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