What Is My Problem?

So, I am not new to being overweight, to weight loss, to starting /stopping, gaining/losing/re-gaining. I've done myfitnesspal in the past and it helped/worked for me. Years and years ago I did weight watchers and it worked for me (kept it off until I got pregnant). Last summer I did weight watchers (very unsuccessfully).

I am now at my highest weight ever and I just feel terrible. I feel physically terrible - like my back hurts, my feet hurt, I feel like I'm about 100 years old. I huff and puff up stairs. I'm having a very hard time keeping up with my lifestyle (work, home life) and all of the things that I need to do. My clothes make me feel and look like a sausage. I'm not dating because of my weight. I've been called fat by kids I work with. Yet I cannot seem to get motivated to make a change.

I think about it constantly and I know for a fact most of my physical ailments would not exist if I was not obese. I have some back issues that my Dr. literally said if you lose weight you won't have those issues. But nothing seems to get me back on track!

I am so frustrated with myself and I honestly don't know how to get started again. I feel like I make lame attempts here and there but they are not consistent and will not lead to a change.

Mostly I think I just needed to get this off my chest because there isn't really anyone I can talk to about this but any advice is also appreciated.



  • Fuzzipeg
    Fuzzipeg Posts: 2,284 Member
    I wonder if you may have some thyroid issue. Being Hypothyroid is something everyone disparages but its consequences can be devastating. Not least that being told, "You just need to loose weight" is of no help at all. Being hypo means your metabolism is slowed and because you probably eat at a deficit it is slowed even more. Please may I suggest you look at the extremely long list of possible symptoms google 300 symptoms of hypothyroidism for starters and it is can be much more complicated than many think it is. I would suspect you have your personal choice of symptoms, pain is a very common one as are menstrual ones. Stop the Thyroid Madness, comes as a book with a newish edition, the website is excellent and it has a facebook presence too. Another site, thyroid mom is also very helpful and there are many more including national support sites.

    The main problem, were you to have any tests for hypothyroidism is that it is incredibly difficult to find a doctor in the mainstream who will do all the test you need to establish what is going on. Most often they do a tsh, produced to stimulate the thyroid but you need t4,t3, free t4, free t3, reverse t3 because these cannot be accepted by your cells, you also need thyroid antibody tests too. General Medicine seem to think Hashimotos is something you can just live with, but if you can reduce the inflammation it really helps, this can be from allergies and intolerance's and probably more. Having vitamins and minerals tested can be a big help too. Much of this will go over your head at the moment, please look at the sites I mentioned and take many many notes.

    Being low in iodine is the least common form of being hypothyroid. When healthy, an adult is supposed to have 150 microns of iodine a day, builds up to about 1/4 to half a teaspoon over the year but it vital for immunity, all cell replication, respiration, digestion, any process our bodies go through just to be a living thing. Green veg may give you 4 micron per 100 gram, milk 30 in 100 ml, cod 70 in 100 gram, there are other places to find it but these are an example but how much do you or anyone normally consume these days. Iodine deficiency is detected by a high tsh, trying to make the thyroid work and other numbers are being pushed off. Hashimotos thyroiditis with antibodies, as it progresses will have thyroid numbers which are off but this is as the condition becomes established. As this happens it is common to acquire allergies and intolerance's to many things from foods to things in the environment, you could even have tinnitus, I do. Its really hard to be taken seriously, or it has been in my experience.

    I really hope this is not you or anyone but it happens. My very best wishes that you will get the very best support.

  • hale03071
    hale03071 Posts: 63 Member
    I hate to say this, but you have to truly want it, to be dedicated to it to actually achieve it. I cannot say I am there, but I know now that's where my mindset has to be in order to lose the weight. Sure, you "might" have a medical problem like a thyroid issue that makes it difficult to lose weight, but sounds like you've had some success with losing some weight, but just haven't stuck with it.

    Its a lifestyle change, not a diet. Its changing your mindset that you are eating to live, not living to eat. I am being medically forced to change my diet (no sugar, no grains, low carb) and I'm realizing its so emotional to give up the food that has made me fat. Its like I am/was in a relationship with that food and now I am mourning the loss of it and the very short lived joy that eating it gave me. My point is find something else to fill the void where food did and just eat to fuel your body in a nutritionally balanced way by eating healthy fats, lean meats, veggies, fruit and leave the processed, packaged food to the very rare special occasion or don't eat it at all.
  • trigden1991
    trigden1991 Posts: 4,658 Member
    You eat more than you burn. Change this and you'll lose weight. It's science/magic.
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,172 Member
    Therapy? If you are miserable, know what you need to do, yet have no motivation to change anything, maybe a therapist could be the answer.
  • Shanel0916
    Shanel0916 Posts: 586 Member
    banjobaby wrote: »
    So, I am not new to being overweight, to weight loss, to starting /stopping, gaining/losing/re-gaining. I've done myfitnesspal in the past and it helped/worked for me. Years and years ago I did weight watchers and it worked for me (kept it off until I got pregnant). Last summer I did weight watchers (very unsuccessfully).

    ^^^ I did this for years (since 2011 to be exact) and then one day (last year 9/2015) I decided I was tired of being unhappy with how I looked. I decided that I would give myself 30 days of eating properly, staying under or at goal and exercising. It worked I kept going and finally reached a weight that I feel happier with (still working towards my ultimate goal tho). Visualizing myself smaller helped and focusing on a little at time.
  • claracluck001
    claracluck001 Posts: 1 Member
    I hear you. I have begun to realise that my weight issues are not really about the actual food, but the reason I am eating it. I think that perhaps the battle you have got to win is not with food its with yourself. We all have coping mechanisms - some people drink, smoke, bite their nails, use drugs, run, sulk etc ... I eat, and half the time I don't even enjoy it. The problem of course is you can't hide the consequences - so everybody knows and a lot of people judge. I then beat myself up about it - and focus on my obvious failure to manage my weight, my past failed attempts to diet, and my inability to simply knuckle down and solve a problem that such a lot of people think is so straight forward. Well its not! We have all got where we are for our own reasons - and will work through it in our own way, and at our own pace.
    What has worked for me is to be kinder to myself and not try to solve the problem in one go. The task is too daunting, its too hard, and I am rubbish at it. But maybe if I only diet for a week and only try to lose 1 or 2 pounds maybe I can do that. Maybe if I include some of my healthy favorites (avocado, salmon, sushi) it wont be so bad. Maybe I'll feel able to commit to a further week. Maybe I shall mess up, but maybe I might of made a little bit of progress so I am not starting again from the same point.
    If you knew a smoker or a drinker that had failed to quit, but was working at it again I am sure you would will them to keep trying - you wouldn't focus on what they hadn't yet achieved but applaud them for having another go, regardless of how many times they had tried before.
    Something that helps me is to ask- do I want this food now .. or would I rather be a pound lighter at the end of the week. Sometimes it works and for each of those little success you can bank a grain of self respect, which is as important as the ounces you (and I) will lose.
    Phew sometimes you just need to get it down - its quite cathartic.
  • grannynot
    grannynot Posts: 146 Member
    A dear friend who is also a trainer, gave me some tough love (that I continued to ignore for a while, even though he is absolutely right). His Quote:
    "Make it a PRIORITY; or stop complaining and learn to live with your failures"
    Yeah - it's harsh; and it's the truth. Once I finally became committed to (honestly) logging my calories and stop snacking and get some regular exercise - the pounds are slowly coming off.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,489 Member
    Well you did get it off your chest at least.. sometimes taking that load off can help a little, now just concentrate on eating less calories than you burn each day, no need to over think or over complicate..just commit!
  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
    You eat more than you burn. Change this and you'll lose weight. It's science/magic.

    It really is this easy. I don't know why everyone seems to want to make it harder or more complicated.

    Calorie deficit = weight loss
    Maintenance calories = stay the same weight
    Calorie surpluses = gain weight

    You just have to be in a caloric deficit and be patient while the weight comes off, then switch to eating at maintenance once you lose the weight. But you do have to actually measure and log your food so you know how many calories you're consuming- but it's not that hard to do, just make it a habit.

    Relax, try to take the emotions and stress out of it as much as you can, and just track your calories & eat the correct amount.
  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    Perhaps you are like me and didn't know how to maintain the weight loss?

    Not a lot of media pushing TDEE and calorie intake. So after several successful bouts of weight loss I gave up.

    But I've learned sooooooo much here on these boards and now I feel like I have a new lease on life.
  • courtneyfabulous
    courtneyfabulous Posts: 1,863 Member
    Yeah sounds like you know how to lose but not maintain - maybe why you don't have a lot of motivation to lose again thinking it will just come back?

    Lose the weight again since you know how, and then focus on MAINTAINING your weight.
  • banjobaby
    banjobaby Posts: 46 Member
    Thanks everyone for your input. It's greatly appreciated.

    I do know that it is calories in /calories out. I know there is no magic pill and that it will take dedication and hard work. I don't have a thyroid problem, I was on migraine medication that did add some of the weight on, but I don't think that there is a medical reason for my weight gain/ lack of weight loss (other than maybe it's slightly harder as we age?).

    I think definitely I've had issues with maintaining. There was a period of time I did maintain for quite a while and the two things that I was consistent about was keeping my food on track and working out. I worked out religiously.

    I'm sure stress plays a part in not feeling motivated (not depression, I've been depressed and I'm definitely not). I've had a very stressful past few years and this year in particular.

    What I remember about getting motivated in my past successes with weightloss/health is that there was this a-ha moment. You know, when you get fed up, realize you have to change, have no tolerance for the way things are etc. I haven't gotten that yet. And I keep looking at the scale as it inches and I am on one hand in disbelief and on the other hand I kind of feel numb to it. Like I will eventually get to that place where it will click and I will take the steps but it hasn't happened yet.

    I like the suggestion of logging everything without expectations. Just log it, be aware.

    I'm sure I have some weird connections with food that are stopping me from being successful too. I'm a comfort eater, I always have been. I'm sometimes a binger. I kind of think of my relationship with food like I am a bit of an addict (I hope this isn't offensive to someone) and for the rest of my life no matter where I am at on the scale I will have to keep my consumption in check. Sometimes it feels very overwhelming and I just want to be free of it.

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I think it's sad to read that you'll just let time pass while your problem grows. The longer you wait to deal with it, the larger and more overwhelming it will be, and the more drastic changes of habits will be needed. This is exactly why, and the only reason why, weight management is harder as we age - habits have had more time to cement.

    Your attitude towards food (as you describe it here, at least) sounds normal to me - sometimes we overeat, sometimes we use food for comfort. It's just about not doing it too often and too much. Food is good and important, and eating feels good, but eating to numb feelings is not good. Most of us need to keep an eye on our intake (food and drink) and our "outtake" (exercise). We aren't supposed to stop eating, just not consistently overeat.

    Maybe this can help you feel more relaxed: What is Normal Eating?
    27VERONICA Posts: 3 Member
    Feel fee to add me, I'm respiar the same way...
  • hapa11
    hapa11 Posts: 182 Member
    It's overwhelming. It helps me to think that every single step I take brings me a little closer to my goal. So if you take a 5 minute walk, if you pass up a cookie, that all adds up. Just break it down into tiny victories.
  • banjobaby
    banjobaby Posts: 46 Member
    i'm not just letting time pass without dealing with my problem. i'm here aren't I? Honestly, right now I am having a huge internal struggle with myself. Trying to sort out my feelings and trying to get to the root of some of my life long road blocks.

    i know i am my own worst enemy. I want this. Badly. More than anything. But I'm scared to fail again. And as much as I do know about weight loss and health and have access to any program I want (I have funds, computer etc) I don't even know where to begin this time.

    Sorry for being kind of heavy (ha! no pun intended) and again, I appreciate the support and the adds. :)
  • Lynzdee18
    Lynzdee18 Posts: 500 Member
    Get a physical asap.

    But, you have to love yourself. Be a friend to yourself. Yup. Sounds corny.

    Treat yourself well...and that means eating healthy, exercising which could begin with walking. I find going for a walk really helped me when I thought I was hungry.

    Believe in yours of. Lose weight for YOU and your health.