What Is My Problem?
banjobaby
Posts: 46 Member
So, I am not new to being overweight, to weight loss, to starting /stopping, gaining/losing/re-gaining. I've done myfitnesspal in the past and it helped/worked for me. Years and years ago I did weight watchers and it worked for me (kept it off until I got pregnant). Last summer I did weight watchers (very unsuccessfully).
I am now at my highest weight ever and I just feel terrible. I feel physically terrible - like my back hurts, my feet hurt, I feel like I'm about 100 years old. I huff and puff up stairs. I'm having a very hard time keeping up with my lifestyle (work, home life) and all of the things that I need to do. My clothes make me feel and look like a sausage. I'm not dating because of my weight. I've been called fat by kids I work with. Yet I cannot seem to get motivated to make a change.
I think about it constantly and I know for a fact most of my physical ailments would not exist if I was not obese. I have some back issues that my Dr. literally said if you lose weight you won't have those issues. But nothing seems to get me back on track!
I am so frustrated with myself and I honestly don't know how to get started again. I feel like I make lame attempts here and there but they are not consistent and will not lead to a change.
Mostly I think I just needed to get this off my chest because there isn't really anyone I can talk to about this but any advice is also appreciated.
I am now at my highest weight ever and I just feel terrible. I feel physically terrible - like my back hurts, my feet hurt, I feel like I'm about 100 years old. I huff and puff up stairs. I'm having a very hard time keeping up with my lifestyle (work, home life) and all of the things that I need to do. My clothes make me feel and look like a sausage. I'm not dating because of my weight. I've been called fat by kids I work with. Yet I cannot seem to get motivated to make a change.
I think about it constantly and I know for a fact most of my physical ailments would not exist if I was not obese. I have some back issues that my Dr. literally said if you lose weight you won't have those issues. But nothing seems to get me back on track!
I am so frustrated with myself and I honestly don't know how to get started again. I feel like I make lame attempts here and there but they are not consistent and will not lead to a change.
Mostly I think I just needed to get this off my chest because there isn't really anyone I can talk to about this but any advice is also appreciated.
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Replies
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Do you have some big unresolved issue in your life? Relationship problems? A job you hate? Problems with your family? You don't have to answer of course, but in my case food was a comfort. I had to keep telling myself, "If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the solution."
For me the weight wasn't going to come off until I found some peace in myself. It helped that I wanted to scream at that moment I decided to lose the weight. It wasn't about what I was eating, it was about what was eating me.
You can lose it. It will be difficult.
Get at it!
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Lame attempts, I think that is a cue. It's so easy to just wait until tomorrow, and then tomorrow never comes.
What if you visualized what an impact one day can have, if you do what you have to do, every day?
What if you visualized how little you have to do every day, if you did it every day?5 -
I wonder if you may have some thyroid issue. Being Hypothyroid is something everyone disparages but its consequences can be devastating. Not least that being told, "You just need to loose weight" is of no help at all. Being hypo means your metabolism is slowed and because you probably eat at a deficit it is slowed even more. Please may I suggest you look at the extremely long list of possible symptoms google 300 symptoms of hypothyroidism for starters and it is can be much more complicated than many think it is. I would suspect you have your personal choice of symptoms, pain is a very common one as are menstrual ones. Stop the Thyroid Madness, comes as a book with a newish edition, the website is excellent and it has a facebook presence too. Another site, thyroid mom is also very helpful and there are many more including national support sites.
The main problem, were you to have any tests for hypothyroidism is that it is incredibly difficult to find a doctor in the mainstream who will do all the test you need to establish what is going on. Most often they do a tsh, produced to stimulate the thyroid but you need t4,t3, free t4, free t3, reverse t3 because these cannot be accepted by your cells, you also need thyroid antibody tests too. General Medicine seem to think Hashimotos is something you can just live with, but if you can reduce the inflammation it really helps, this can be from allergies and intolerance's and probably more. Having vitamins and minerals tested can be a big help too. Much of this will go over your head at the moment, please look at the sites I mentioned and take many many notes.
Being low in iodine is the least common form of being hypothyroid. When healthy, an adult is supposed to have 150 microns of iodine a day, builds up to about 1/4 to half a teaspoon over the year but it vital for immunity, all cell replication, respiration, digestion, any process our bodies go through just to be a living thing. Green veg may give you 4 micron per 100 gram, milk 30 in 100 ml, cod 70 in 100 gram, there are other places to find it but these are an example but how much do you or anyone normally consume these days. Iodine deficiency is detected by a high tsh, trying to make the thyroid work and other numbers are being pushed off. Hashimotos thyroiditis with antibodies, as it progresses will have thyroid numbers which are off but this is as the condition becomes established. As this happens it is common to acquire allergies and intolerance's to many things from foods to things in the environment, you could even have tinnitus, I do. Its really hard to be taken seriously, or it has been in my experience.
I really hope this is not you or anyone but it happens. My very best wishes that you will get the very best support.
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I hate to say this, but you have to truly want it, to be dedicated to it to actually achieve it. I cannot say I am there, but I know now that's where my mindset has to be in order to lose the weight. Sure, you "might" have a medical problem like a thyroid issue that makes it difficult to lose weight, but sounds like you've had some success with losing some weight, but just haven't stuck with it.
Its a lifestyle change, not a diet. Its changing your mindset that you are eating to live, not living to eat. I am being medically forced to change my diet (no sugar, no grains, low carb) and I'm realizing its so emotional to give up the food that has made me fat. Its like I am/was in a relationship with that food and now I am mourning the loss of it and the very short lived joy that eating it gave me. My point is find something else to fill the void where food did and just eat to fuel your body in a nutritionally balanced way by eating healthy fats, lean meats, veggies, fruit and leave the processed, packaged food to the very rare special occasion or don't eat it at all.3 -
You eat more than you burn. Change this and you'll lose weight. It's science/magic.4
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Therapy? If you are miserable, know what you need to do, yet have no motivation to change anything, maybe a therapist could be the answer.1
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So, I am not new to being overweight, to weight loss, to starting /stopping, gaining/losing/re-gaining. I've done myfitnesspal in the past and it helped/worked for me. Years and years ago I did weight watchers and it worked for me (kept it off until I got pregnant). Last summer I did weight watchers (very unsuccessfully).
^^^ I did this for years (since 2011 to be exact) and then one day (last year 9/2015) I decided I was tired of being unhappy with how I looked. I decided that I would give myself 30 days of eating properly, staying under or at goal and exercising. It worked I kept going and finally reached a weight that I feel happier with (still working towards my ultimate goal tho). Visualizing myself smaller helped and focusing on a little at time.2 -
I hear you. I have begun to realise that my weight issues are not really about the actual food, but the reason I am eating it. I think that perhaps the battle you have got to win is not with food its with yourself. We all have coping mechanisms - some people drink, smoke, bite their nails, use drugs, run, sulk etc ... I eat, and half the time I don't even enjoy it. The problem of course is you can't hide the consequences - so everybody knows and a lot of people judge. I then beat myself up about it - and focus on my obvious failure to manage my weight, my past failed attempts to diet, and my inability to simply knuckle down and solve a problem that such a lot of people think is so straight forward. Well its not! We have all got where we are for our own reasons - and will work through it in our own way, and at our own pace.
What has worked for me is to be kinder to myself and not try to solve the problem in one go. The task is too daunting, its too hard, and I am rubbish at it. But maybe if I only diet for a week and only try to lose 1 or 2 pounds maybe I can do that. Maybe if I include some of my healthy favorites (avocado, salmon, sushi) it wont be so bad. Maybe I'll feel able to commit to a further week. Maybe I shall mess up, but maybe I might of made a little bit of progress so I am not starting again from the same point.
If you knew a smoker or a drinker that had failed to quit, but was working at it again I am sure you would will them to keep trying - you wouldn't focus on what they hadn't yet achieved but applaud them for having another go, regardless of how many times they had tried before.
Something that helps me is to ask- do I want this food now .. or would I rather be a pound lighter at the end of the week. Sometimes it works and for each of those little success you can bank a grain of self respect, which is as important as the ounces you (and I) will lose.
Phew sometimes you just need to get it down - its quite cathartic.2 -
A dear friend who is also a trainer, gave me some tough love (that I continued to ignore for a while, even though he is absolutely right). His Quote:
"Make it a PRIORITY; or stop complaining and learn to live with your failures"
Yeah - it's harsh; and it's the truth. Once I finally became committed to (honestly) logging my calories and stop snacking and get some regular exercise - the pounds are slowly coming off.1 -
Well you did get it off your chest at least.. sometimes taking that load off can help a little, now just concentrate on eating less calories than you burn each day, no need to over think or over complicate..just commit!0
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Your story sounds similar to my story in that I too had done WW and MFP with weight loss success in the past (though never really in a healthy or sustainable way). I was in a similar place about three years ago of not knowing how to get started (hopefully for the last time). A friend of mine who had significant long term weight loss success told me a simple thing that helped them get started. They told me to just commit to logging my food for a specific amount of time (at least three months) without worrying about making any changes.
I decided I would heed my friends advice and commit to logging everything that went in my mouth for a year without exception. I didn't promise myself I would make any changes, just that I would log whatever I threw down the hatch. I was going to eat this stuff anyway and writing it down wouldn't be too hard. I wasn't ready to commit to a real diet change but just tracking what I was eating anyway, now that was something I could do.
In the beginning it was really ugly seeing what I was eating everyday but tracking and becoming aware of what I was eating (even though it was unhealthy food) became habit. Developing habits is hard enough without the added pressure of I need to lose "x" pounds by "x" date which is always the mentality I had before when I wasn't successful.
Eventually once the habit was fully ingrained it became much much easier to add in calorie deficit and to start making somewhat healthier choices. Now three years later i've maintained my 70 pounds loss for two years which I in large part attribute just to the fact that I initially logged my food without jumping into weight loss mode full tilt.
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trigden1991 wrote: »You eat more than you burn. Change this and you'll lose weight. It's science/magic.
It really is this easy. I don't know why everyone seems to want to make it harder or more complicated.
Calorie deficit = weight loss
Maintenance calories = stay the same weight
Calorie surpluses = gain weight
You just have to be in a caloric deficit and be patient while the weight comes off, then switch to eating at maintenance once you lose the weight. But you do have to actually measure and log your food so you know how many calories you're consuming- but it's not that hard to do, just make it a habit.
Relax, try to take the emotions and stress out of it as much as you can, and just track your calories & eat the correct amount.1 -
Perhaps you are like me and didn't know how to maintain the weight loss?
Not a lot of media pushing TDEE and calorie intake. So after several successful bouts of weight loss I gave up.
But I've learned sooooooo much here on these boards and now I feel like I have a new lease on life.1 -
Yeah sounds like you know how to lose but not maintain - maybe why you don't have a lot of motivation to lose again thinking it will just come back?
Lose the weight again since you know how, and then focus on MAINTAINING your weight.0 -
Thanks everyone for your input. It's greatly appreciated.
I do know that it is calories in /calories out. I know there is no magic pill and that it will take dedication and hard work. I don't have a thyroid problem, I was on migraine medication that did add some of the weight on, but I don't think that there is a medical reason for my weight gain/ lack of weight loss (other than maybe it's slightly harder as we age?).
I think definitely I've had issues with maintaining. There was a period of time I did maintain for quite a while and the two things that I was consistent about was keeping my food on track and working out. I worked out religiously.
I'm sure stress plays a part in not feeling motivated (not depression, I've been depressed and I'm definitely not). I've had a very stressful past few years and this year in particular.
What I remember about getting motivated in my past successes with weightloss/health is that there was this a-ha moment. You know, when you get fed up, realize you have to change, have no tolerance for the way things are etc. I haven't gotten that yet. And I keep looking at the scale as it inches and I am on one hand in disbelief and on the other hand I kind of feel numb to it. Like I will eventually get to that place where it will click and I will take the steps but it hasn't happened yet.
I like the suggestion of logging everything without expectations. Just log it, be aware.
I'm sure I have some weird connections with food that are stopping me from being successful too. I'm a comfort eater, I always have been. I'm sometimes a binger. I kind of think of my relationship with food like I am a bit of an addict (I hope this isn't offensive to someone) and for the rest of my life no matter where I am at on the scale I will have to keep my consumption in check. Sometimes it feels very overwhelming and I just want to be free of it.
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I think it's sad to read that you'll just let time pass while your problem grows. The longer you wait to deal with it, the larger and more overwhelming it will be, and the more drastic changes of habits will be needed. This is exactly why, and the only reason why, weight management is harder as we age - habits have had more time to cement.
Your attitude towards food (as you describe it here, at least) sounds normal to me - sometimes we overeat, sometimes we use food for comfort. It's just about not doing it too often and too much. Food is good and important, and eating feels good, but eating to numb feelings is not good. Most of us need to keep an eye on our intake (food and drink) and our "outtake" (exercise). We aren't supposed to stop eating, just not consistently overeat.
Maybe this can help you feel more relaxed: What is Normal Eating?0 -
Feel fee to add me, I'm respiar the same way...0
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It's overwhelming. It helps me to think that every single step I take brings me a little closer to my goal. So if you take a 5 minute walk, if you pass up a cookie, that all adds up. Just break it down into tiny victories.1
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i'm not just letting time pass without dealing with my problem. i'm here aren't I? Honestly, right now I am having a huge internal struggle with myself. Trying to sort out my feelings and trying to get to the root of some of my life long road blocks.
i know i am my own worst enemy. I want this. Badly. More than anything. But I'm scared to fail again. And as much as I do know about weight loss and health and have access to any program I want (I have funds, computer etc) I don't even know where to begin this time.
Sorry for being kind of heavy (ha! no pun intended) and again, I appreciate the support and the adds.
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Get a physical asap.
But, you have to love yourself. Be a friend to yourself. Yup. Sounds corny.
Treat yourself well...and that means eating healthy, exercising which could begin with walking. I find going for a walk really helped me when I thought I was hungry.
Believe in yours of. Lose weight for YOU and your health.0 -
I honestly think you just need to suck it up and be hard on yourself. No "its ok if I don't work out today/I don't feel up to it/one day in a calorie surplus wont matter etc etc etc"
Make no excuses and be consistent. If you wanted this more than anything you would not have this issue. Your doctor is telling you you need this for your health, if that is not motivation enough what will be.
Yes, I am harsh. my partner is an ex commando who toured Afghanistan, perspective is everything.0 -
I think at some point you just have to start somewhere. Maybe it won't be perfect and maybe it won't be pretty, but it'll be something.
My story is similar to yours. All my life I've lost and regained the weight. A lot of times when I would try to diet I would struggle to stay committed, but you know just like I do that it gets easier. The first day is the hardest, but it gets easier from there.
Don't worry about failing. You can't fail until you give up. Don't worry about how far you have to go. Just focus on each day as it comes.
My only other piece of advice would be don't try to quit the foods you love. I've seen it over and over again and have done it a few times myself. Sure, I can say I won't ever eat sweets again and actually maybe maintain it for months or the duration of a diet, but in the long term I love sweets and I will cave and when I do I will likely binge. I find it works best to do everything in moderation.0
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