After a tragedy need some motivation

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Sunscreenandsweat
Sunscreenandsweat Posts: 190 Member
edited November 2016 in Motivation and Support
See post below

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  • Sunscreenandsweat
    Sunscreenandsweat Posts: 190 Member
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    Like the kind of people that will text me until i go for a run kind of motivation. Idk where to start but i know i can do this ive done it before i lost 130 pounds before i had my son and i didn't gain all the weight back i kept it on for almost 2 years my excuses were that i was a single mom working two jobs had to eat on the go my son didn't like the healthy stuff its too expensive etc. But then one day you're at work with no phone on you and you get called to hr and see a police officer and you just know omg I'm getting fired but they tell you your almost two year old went to the hospital because he had been choking so you run out the door drive to the hospital go to the desk everything is moving so slow you want to see your child but they take you to a room with couches youre confused you ask where your son is then they say the dr is coming to you and that's when you know then all the questions come making you question everything that happened that day and whether you could have done something different i mean you were a single mom no help you did your best he was happy he had everything he needed everyone loved him then one day you realize it wasn't your fault and after a couple weeks you look in the mirror and realize you took such great care of your son until the day he was cremated now you need to take care of yourself starting with your health
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Sunscreenandsweat wrote: »
    Like the kind of people that will text me until i go for a run kind of motivation. Idk where to start but i know i can do this ive done it before i lost 130 pounds before i had my son and i didn't gain all the weight back i kept it on for almost 2 years my excuses were that i was a single mom working two jobs had to eat on the go my son didn't like the healthy stuff its too expensive etc. But then one day you're at work with no phone on you and you get called to hr and see a police officer and you just know omg I'm getting fired but they tell you your almost two year old went to the hospital because he had been choking so you run out the door drive to the hospital go to the desk everything is moving so slow you want to see your child but they take you to a room with couches youre confused you ask where your son is then they say the dr is coming to you and that's when you know then all the questions come making you question everything that happened that day and whether you could have done something different i mean you were a single mom no help you did your best he was happy he had everything he needed everyone loved him then one day you realize it wasn't your fault and after a couple weeks you look in the mirror and realize you took such great care of your son until the day he was cremated now you need to take care of yourself starting with your health

    I'm
    So sorry for your loss, I too lost my daughter at 28 years
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
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    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.
  • blwelch1
    blwelch1 Posts: 81 Member
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    Wow! so sad to hear that you had to experience something like this. I just can't imagine, but i do like your attitude. Take care of yourself like you took care of your son.. praying for you
  • Sira125
    Sira125 Posts: 152 Member
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    Sent you a friend request.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,712 Member
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    What a horrible thing to go through. I'm so very sorry. Unfortunately, you aren't alone and so due to that fact there are others who understand and who you can talk to. Have you looked into support groups or grief counseling? It's different for everyone but sometimes just having support from others helps whether you all grieve the same or not.

    I'm glad to hear that you KNOW it wasn't your fault and that you took good care of your son. Our thoughts are with you.
  • verity434
    verity434 Posts: 2 Member
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    There are no words to convey my perception of your parting with your son, this brings on a felt sense rather than a verbal one. A story every mother dreads to consider.
    But you are surviving and as this is about motivation may I suggest that it may help to visualise your self living the life, being the person he'd want you to be happy being. Living the lifestyle that would make you the best role model you could be, caring for yourself.
    There is no comparison in our stories but my eating issues returned with the loss of my brother and best friend and it's something that has consumed me. I'm just starting to understand that being harmful to my health is not reducing my grief, just adding to my low moments. Wrecking myself because I've lost important people doesn't honour them in anyway. Positive things will honour them, so I've entered a 15k cross country run to raise money for the hospital.
    Maybe there is a goal you could set yourself to honour your son? It may give you the motivation that will make weight loss a result of the goal you're going to achieve rather than focusing on weightloss itself?
    I would also say don't be hard on yourself, it's a lifelong process and will take time to be able to live alongside.
    Best wishes
  • texasleahgirl
    texasleahgirl Posts: 96 Member
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    verity434 wrote: »
    Wrecking myself because I've lost important people doesn't honour them in anyway.

    Wow, such an elegant way to put it. I plan on remembering this, thank you!
  • upoffthemat
    upoffthemat Posts: 679 Member
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    That brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine what you have gone through, but give you a lot of credit for working to get yourself back together. You can do it.
  • swheeler0602
    swheeler0602 Posts: 110 Member
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    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have to credit you for choosing to better yourself, even after something liek this.

    I'm not sure if you fall under this category but I've started a new group for women under 35 and over 200 lbs. If you'd like to join, let me know and I'll send you an invite.

    Good luck on your journey, wherever it may take you.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    I am sooo sorry for you and the loss of your baby! :'(
  • crackpotbaby
    crackpotbaby Posts: 1,297 Member
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    My advice would be to make sure you get some psychological help regarding you weight loss. Even if the tragic loss of your child is something you have emotionally addressed, there are likely a lot of psychological components to your eating and exercise habits tied up in grief and feelings of guilt.

    Good on you for recognising that you deserve to look after your self.

  • brucejei
    brucejei Posts: 102 Member
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    I'm sorry for your loss. I am glad that you have made the decision to the care of yourself. Good luck on your journey!
  • Gracedtimes2
    Gracedtimes2 Posts: 38 Member
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    I understand, and yet you know deeply that no one understands. There are no words that will fill the empty space within. However, what I can offer is that no matter what, please hang on through the days of darkness, care and nurture yourself the best you are able. I promise that eventually you will be able to take a breath without your chest, body, whole being, and heart hurting and you will find your way once again. And know, although in your grief you feel alone, please know you are not alone. It's been three years since my tragedy and no, I'm not the person I was, and I understand now that this type of loss will be with me in various ways forever: it's something one never "gets over," but it is something that we can eventually "manage." I encourage the use of support groups, counseling, grief work and allowing yourself to feel the pain when you can. Please feel free to invite me to your friends list if interested.
  • Spliner1969
    Spliner1969 Posts: 3,233 Member
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    So sorry for your loss. As a father of three girls and a grand father of six grand children I can't fathom what you went through. I'm not even sure I wouldn't be in worse shape. Nobody should have to go through what you went through. Focusing on your self may be good for you though, and fitness can reduce stress as well which I'm sure you have a lot of in your life after dealing with the loss of your child. I, unfortunately, wouldn't be the person to push you to exercise, but I do exercise almost like clockwork 6 days a week, usually first thing in the AM. If seeing my posts in MFP would motivate you, you are welcome to add me as a friend.
  • Ant488
    Ant488 Posts: 372 Member
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    My condolences. Please feel free to add me. I may have some information that can help as well.
  • aim630
    aim630 Posts: 120 Member
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    I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I lost my daughter almost 7 years ago. You do need to take care of yourself, but I understand how difficult it is when you're just trying to survive. Feel free to add me. I could use additional support and motivation as well.
  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,862 Member
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    Hang in there. Because you do have to also take care of one very precious life, your own. Take it slowly. Stick with the program and cut yourself some slack. We are usually our own worst critics.

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