What saves you from a relapse?
Carchick94
Posts: 11 Member
Hello, I am an emotional eater and every not so great day that I have, I want to eat. In that very moment, I get this 'screw it' attitude. This is what has always put my weight loss goals to a hault. I'm stubborn and I tell myself I deserve this damn cupcake cause I had a terrible day and in that moment stop caring all together. When you get this way, what stops you? How does the angel on your right shoulder tell the devil on your left shoulder no?
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Replies
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Have you ever heard of Parenting with Love and Logic? Sometimes I use those principles with food. "I love myself too much to eat that." And I say it over and over in my head until I talk myself out of that temptation.
What you deserve more than that cupcake is self love.
If you want a cupcake...really, really want a cupcake...figure out the calories and help it fit into your day. You will feel empowered that you managed to your plan AND you'll get a cupcake.18 -
calliecancilla268 wrote: »Hello, I am an emotional eater and every not so great day that I have, I want to eat. In that very moment, I get this 'screw it' attitude. This is what has always put my weight loss goals to a hault. I'm stubborn and I tell myself I deserve this damn cupcake cause I had a terrible day and in that moment stop caring all together. When you get this way, what stops you? How does the angel on your right shoulder tell the devil on your left shoulder no?
1). How long have you been an emotional eater?
2). What happens BEFORE you have the screw it attitude?
3). What would you rather happen instead of the screw it attitude.
4). When will you decide to believe that the devil and angel don't exist?2 -
The mirror, and old pictures. I keep them around to remind me of what a bloated husk I was, and could become again, if I let my baser eating instincts take over.5
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I just learned not to assign foods as good or bad. Because if I have a so called bad food, I felt bad, if I'm bad then might as well keep eating cupcakes.
I look at food now as either a slow fuel or a fast fuel. A cupcake is tasty but I will gas out soon and be hungry again so I have to plan to fit it in my day.
This very simplistic way of looking at food as neither good nor bad has helped me sooooooooo much.
No more guilt!12 -
Well first I don't think about food as a struggle between good and evil, that would just be inviting drama and emotions to be tied into something as routine and natural as eating.
Second if dishing out a portion or eyeing a treat when im already at my calorie limit I remind myself I'm working towards a goal and do a self check as to whether the goal is more important than the cupcake. Goal usually wins.6 -
Vanity.
The older I've got the more successful I've become. The more successful I have become the less physically vain I become. The less physically vain I've become the fatter I've become.
That said, I seem to have a natural weight gain maximum cut off switch at 10-12lbs above my normal range before "You've got to be kidding me, lose some weight fool" vanity kicks in no matter what.8 -
My figure and my health
And 30 years of yo yo dieting when I wasn't wasn't confident in either4 -
Vanity.
The older I've got the more successful I've become. The more successful I have become the less physically vain I become. The less physically vain I've become the fatter I've become.
That said, I seem to have a natural weight gain maximum cut off switch at 10-12lbs above my normal range before "You've got to be kidding me, lose some weight fool" vanity kicks in no matter what.
Hmm.. That's actually a good one. Thanks
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Most of the time I tell myself no, and fight the urge.
Sometimes, on the really bad days, I give in and eat the thing I'm wanting, even if I'm over my goal for the day. And I pick myself back up the next day and move ahead. I don't have the stress/emotional eating thing figured out fully, but I've figured it out enough to understand that for me, some days are just give-in days.2 -
Refuse to give over control of your life to food! When you say screw it, you are really saying screw me and when you eat what you feel is inappropriate, you have put your rational self to sleep, and let the destructive and impulsive child in you win. Discipline and self control (just like a parent, as noted in a previous post) is a more appropriate response to these kinds of temptations. Is it failproof? Absolutely not - not for me, not for anyone - but with practice, you can become more successful at it. Finding a diversion, like leaving the room and doing something else, or leaving the house and walking around the block can help.5
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Having a plan so I know why it actually does matter that I stay on plan (and being able to adjust logically if I screw up so I don't decide that I overate for the day so might as well go nuts). Having a plan about other ways to deal with stress (this is the most important, but sometimes hard for me to implement). For a while it worked really well to force myself to journal a bit about why I wanted to eat before I'd make a decision -- sounds dumb, but it forced me to be mindful and usually worked and I should get back to it. Channeling the thoughts in a positive direction (for example, I feel bad and want to reward myself with food resulted in thoughts about cool fun new things I could try making for dinner that would be within my calorie and nutrition goals or a new lower cal dessert to try or some such). Also, just learning that you don't need to stifle any emotional discomfort immediately -- learn to sit with it, that you can handle it, lean into the discomfort is a phrase I picked up recently that I like.
There's an emotional eating group here I keep meaning to spend more time on, maybe posting there could be helpful too, when you are feeling bad/like eating in a way you'd rather not.3 -
I keep this thought in mind: 'Don't sacrifice what you want for what you want right now'.10
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I'm a recovering alcoholic...and I started handling junk food cravings the way I handle alcohol cravings.
Am I bored? Am I tired/stressed/upset/angry? Do I just want this out of habit? What would be a healthier alternative to dealing with this?
It's been surprisingly effective for me.7 -
I think about how hard my workout was that day (or whenever I last exercised) and say to myself, why ruin that awesome workout you just did by a few minutes of snacking? Or I'll add the snack on mfp before I eat it and look at how many calories I have left for the day.5
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You can still have the cupcake- just don't have 10. If you stay within your calorie goals you can have comfort food without sacrificing weight loss efforts.
You can also do what I do... exercise. It's a great stress reliever! Much better than food in my opinion. Go do a kick *kitten* full body weight lifting session. Go run some sprint intervals. Go for a hike.
Get out of the house and out of your head, move your body. Listen to some great music. You'll feel much better- it's like meditation.3 -
I'd just have the cupcake if I really wanted it and cut back somewhere else. I haven't relapsed (so far) because I simply don't ever want to have to lose that much weight again. I don't mind dieting to drop 10 lbs or so every so often but I'm still pretty angry with myself for letting it get so out of control.3
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I used to tell myself I deserved food. And I realized that was such a defeating thing to do. What I really deserve is to be healthy, both mentally and physically. I didn't think it was emotionally mature of me to self-soothe with food, and I wanted to grow past it.
So every time I was tempted to eat emotionally, I kept repeating that I deserved to be more emotionally healthy than to use food as a crutch and that I was an adult and could cope without food. I just kept repeating this, and often found something else to do to distract myself.
Eventually, I broke my habit of responding to emotions with food.
What keeps me on track? I never want to be fat again. I love being thin. I love feeling healthy, in spite of several medical conditions. I also have a risk for a certain type of cancer should I ever get obese again. That's enough to keep me on the path I'm on.
This isn't to say that I don't have cupcakes every now and then. But I don't use them as emotional crutches. I just eat them because they're delicious.7 -
All the above are good sound advice. I do not know that I was ever an emotional eater, but what I have learned is that food is not good or bad. I can have pretty much anything I want, although I dont. I dont allow myself to feel bad if I eat a hamburger or a piece of cake. If I am going to eat something that is pretty high in calories, I actually think about it few days. Sometimes I realize that it is not worth the calories and I keep it pushing. Other times, I decide that I really want it, but I still keep track of what and how much I am eating.1
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Portion control and a kitchen timer, if I'm at home. Life sucks and I want a pan of brownies? Eat one, log it, set a timer for 20 minutes before I can eat more. Same with a serving of chips or ice cream or whatever.
I also try to redirect with exercise - taking a walk instead of a snack really helps me cut down on bored-eating.
Writing down a list of costs if I'm out. Along with a list of things I'd rather get with the money I'd spend on impulse junk. Those $3 soft serve pretzels equal half a book on Amazon, or a start on a new pair of jeans.2 -
I don't tell myself "No"-- I just tell myself, "In moderation".
Too easy to get caught up in some inane mental argument about how food-- which is inherently incapable of being either "good" or "bad"-- is, well, good or bad. Food's food; it's what you do with it that counts.
If you give in and eat something that puts you outside of whatever range you're trying to stay within, eat light the rest of the day (lots of vegetables and lean proteins or just smaller portions) and drink lots of water. Every time you stick something in your mouth, you are starting over. Don't get caught up in that mental game of "Well, I already ate this today, so eating like this the rest of the day won't hurt-- I'll try again tomorrow." You have to love yourself enough to try again every single time the opportunity arises.3 -
Relapsing has been a problem of mine in the past--once I overate a few times, I felt like what the heck, and just stopped trying.
This time when I began losing weight again, I wrote some "Notes to my thinner self...". This was one of them: "When you feel like you've been eating too much lately don't just let it all go and undo all the hard work you've done! Take some days of IF, or just eating fresh produce and lots of good protein, and you will get back on track in a couple of days instead of a couple of months or years. DO IT!!"
Might sound silly, but it has helped me over the past few months. I also realize that it has taken me 3.5 months (about 100 days) to lose 15 lbs--all those lbs are not going to come back in only a couple of bad days.
Good luck! You can do it!4 -
I know i go through whinny victims moods.. they last a day or two..and I keep my mouth shut and soldier through. It is just the weak part of my personality trying to get me to fail. Don't do it.. it will pass.2
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To me NOTHING tastes as good as feeling healthy and how hard I've worked to get there3
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Nothing stops me from relapsing. Some days I eat within my goal. Other days I want the cupcake more. The only rule is, log it. I check the average so I know how far up or down I am over the week. That awareness is what stops me from consistently going overboard - it keeps my overall goal in front of my eyes and that informs my choices.
I don't expect perfect compliance because I am not good at rules. But I expect to be aware of what I am eating and what it is doing to the numbers. that's enough for me, and works better than second guessing every bite.3 -
I have become much more mindful and aware of what I REALLY want. Once in a while it is junk food that I really want. But most often it is being healthy and disciplined and feeling physically good and good about myself that I really want.1
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Just copied this and its going on my wall - Its perfect for me right now. I am facing into a challenging couple of months with regard to deadlines and then of course the party season so this is now my needed mantra. Blessings to you!I keep this thought in mind: 'Don't sacrifice what you want for what you want right now'.
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I just had a damned cupcake. It was delicious.
I also had a basmati rice and veggie stir fry dinner. Low in calories. High in bulk. Had my fill. Had calories enough for a cupcake.
It was pumpkin cream cheese with a whipped cream topping.3 -
Thinking about how I looked almost a year ago next month, a bloated and sweaty anaemic diabetic with panda bags under my eyes... in absolute denial about my declining health. That helps me from relapsing.3
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Carchick94 wrote: »Hello, I am an emotional eater and every not so great day that I have, I want to eat. In that very moment, I get this 'screw it' attitude. This is what has always put my weight loss goals to a hault. I'm stubborn and I tell myself I deserve this damn cupcake cause I had a terrible day and in that moment stop caring all together. When you get this way, what stops you? How does the angel on your right shoulder tell the devil on your left shoulder no?
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Carchick94 wrote: »Hello, I am an emotional eater and every not so great day that I have, I want to eat. In that very moment, I get this 'screw it' attitude. This is what has always put my weight loss goals to a hault. I'm stubborn and I tell myself I deserve this damn cupcake cause I had a terrible day and in that moment stop caring all together. When you get this way, what stops you? How does the angel on your right shoulder tell the devil on your left shoulder no?
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