Advice on how to deal with a "skinny" Friend

amysuemartin718 · November 2016

My best friend ( sadly only friend) is very supportive of my weight loss to a degree. She is always telling me shes proud of me, that I've come a long way etc. But, she is like 5"5' and 130lbs and wears and size 6 and is obsessed with her weight and appearance and she says she eats healthy but really doesn't. Here is my problem- when I tell her I've lost weight she says awesome lets go celebrate lets gets pizza! She always sends me pictures of the cookies or junk food, comfort food shes eating and when I say something about not being able to eat them ( 1. Im borderline diabetic and 2. don't want to cheat 3. don't really have the calories for the day) she says just go for it eat one, cheat it won't hurt you. I have very nicely said, sorry can't do that, or don't have enough calories for the day etc to her but she just doesn't get it. Today she sent me a picture of a cookie she was eating and posted, SHHHH don't tell, then she says making mac n cheese and that she will make it for me one day. OMG I just want to slap her! How would you tell your friend without pissing her off to please stop!

Calliope610 · November 2016

1. don't mention your weight loss success with her.
2. when she sends you pics of food, just reply "No, thank you".

Lather, rinse, repeat.

and maybe 3. find other friends

TR0berts · November 2016

Dear Friend,

As you know I'm trying to lose weight. While I think you mean this in good fun, when you send me these pictures and tempt me with foods, it hinders my progress. Please don't send me any more of those pictures. Feel free to send shirtless pictures of [insert favorite celebrity] anytime, though!

Thanks!

quiksylver296 · November 2016

TR0berts wrote: »

Dear Friend,

As you know I'm trying to lose weight. While I think you mean this in good fun, when you send me these pictures and tempt me with foods, it hinders my progress. Please don't send me any more of those pictures. Feel free to send shirtless pictures of [insert favorite celebrity] anytime, though!

Thanks!

Tom Hardy, Channing Tatum or Dwayne Johnson, specifically! LOL

I agree with needing to tell her, very directly, that you don't want her to send food pics or tempt with food.

Luckadea · November 2016

Just ask her nicely not to share those pictures with you because you are trying to lose weight?
If she insists on you cheating, then maybe it's better to spend less time with her and more time with friends who support your weight loss goals. Just a thought.

Therealobi1 · November 2016

you are borderline diabetic, ask your friend if she wants you to become ill
i have never been sent pictures of food my friends or family are eating. its just really wierd.

abitofbliss · November 2016

It doesn't seem like she is purposely trying to sabotage you. If you're comfortable about it, I would talk to her and tell her how you feel. If she is a good friend it shouldn't piss her off or take long to get over.

On the other hand, if you're going to lose weight and keep it off, I hope that it's a lifestyle change and you're making decisions you can sustain over time. There is no way to completely avoid temptations whether it be digital or reality. Honestly, every time I go on Facebook I'm overwhelmed and intimidated with all of the food picture or recipe videos. When I see them I either think "oo yummy" and move along or I think "oo yummy, how can I make that without so many carbs, or sugars, or whatever I am trying to have in moderation.

I wish you the very best on your journey and hope you can find some relief of the mental battle it really is trying to lose weight!

abitofbliss · November 2016

abitofbliss wrote: »

or I think "oo yummy, how can I make that without so many carbs, or sugars, or whatever I am trying to have in moderation.

The point I was trying to make is, in response to her mac n cheese you could say "That looks good but I'm cutting down on pasta. Could you make a cauliflower mac n cheese dish instead?"

TavistockToad · November 2016

Stop talking about your weight loss...

Don't reply when she sends food pics, just ignore them and she'll get bored soon enough

Cbestinme · November 2016

All of the above, plus make some new friends & also have new topics to share with your best friend (not only food )

amysuemartin718 · November 2016

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice!!!!

ninerbuff · November 2016

I'd say delete every food pic. Then when she asks "did you see the pic I sent you?", you tell her you deleted it because it's not something you need to see at this time in your life. If she has any intelligence, she'll get it.
Personally, I don't care what people post for food (don't know why it's such a big thing these days). You'll be tempted EVERYWHERE and just not by her. Learning how to deal with it and create habits to abstain takes time and in the end goes a long way.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Francl27 · November 2016

Makes you wonder what kind of friend she is. But be honest and tell her that you're trying to lose weight and it's hard for you when she sends you pictures and talk about food. If she really doesn't get it... ignore all the food texts. Maybe she'll get the message?

nutmegoreo · November 2016

Run through the list of complications that can come from having poorly controlled diabetes over the long run. Let her know that you are doing your best to improve your health and reduce your risk of experiencing these things, and that you would really prefer to have her support on this. If she still isn't able to support you, delete.

amysuemartin718 · November 2016

Once again thank you everyone for your words of advice and support. Looks like I will be telling her to please stop and I will not worry how she takes it.

Lounmoun · November 2016

If she is your best friend you should be able to tell her to stop doing something or tell her how she can support you. Bring up how hard it is to stick to your goals sometimes and how important it is for your health that you do.

Sara1791 · November 2016

Maybe she's trying to subtly show you that you can be at a healthy weight and still have some treats?

You should talk to her about it, tell her how you feel and let her tell you how she feels. You might not agree, but you can still understand and respect each other's opinions.

bininj · November 2016

I have a friend who is exactly the same. In the end I didn't discuss my diet or weight loss with her at all. I realised she was treating it like a threat. If she mentioned it I steered away from the subject. But I stuck to my diet like glue. It's great to have support from friends, and you'll need it, but not all friends will be supportive.