I hate when I'm celebrating progress and someone comes around to focus on what I have NOT done yet.
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Verity1111
Posts: 3,309 Member
I made a post on another site and I'm very discouraged. I was very happy. I have had ED issues in the past and they're not bothering me right now. I started on October 11th around 224lbs. I weighed in on Oct 29th at 218.2. I had lost only 0.4lbs in 11 days which was a little less than I wanted but OK - progress is progress. So I weighed in again last night at 214.6. I lost 3.4lbs in 5-6 days. My last weigh in seemed disappointing (0.4lbs in 11 days) and I was wondering why but now I see maybe I had extra water or salt. I stated that I've been sick and not doing so good with food because all I ate was pizza and junk when I did eat the last few days... because I was sick and honestly just didnt care. Maybe 2-3 days out of the last 4. I even ate some pie and I was thinking I would gain weight or something. Anyway, so far, my loss is a little under 10lbs. It will be 1 month on the 11th, so in one week. I had a lot of "bad" days, a couple "fasting" days when I wasn't feeling well (maybe 2) and even one "bad" entire week where I ate tons of fast food. lol. It SOUNDS bad. The other days were good. So maybe about 60% of the time I was good. BUT it's better than 0%. I did not exercise except when I walked on Halloween because I am recovering from an ankle injury. Oh and the Trick or Treating? It hurt - a lot. Especially the next day. My ankle still is awful. Im working on it. But the point is I posted this and I was stating that even though I didn't do well all month I lost almost 10lbs and fit my clothes better so I'm happy and I feel good that I'm progressing. We used to eat fast food every day of some weeks and rarely ever ate anything fresh at all. Now over half the time I have eaten fresh spinach, salads, soup and other things that are much healthier than what I used to. It hurts that I feel so good and I'm going through so much BS and someone can come along and ruin it. The exact response I got was belittling me for eating pizza, accusing me of having an ED right now because I didn't eat a day or two (I had a fever one day and I have IBS issues), and then saying I must be dehydrated and I will put the weight back on (I drank tons of water and I always do. Way more than 8 glasses per day). I've had sick kids for 2 weeks throwing up, had my phone stolen, had to deal with the police, had my son fall and cut his head open, gotten extremely sick myself and have limited range of motion. I'm proud of my 9lbs lost - or I was. 
Now I feel like I'm supposed to feel guilty and it makes me want to give up.
Now I feel like I'm supposed to feel guilty and it makes me want to give up. 0
Replies
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Sounds like you have a lot going on in your life right now. It's great you have made progress. Sometimes in cases like this were you don't get the validation you need online and life offline is falling apart it's a good idea to take a step back from everything to focus on yourself and the basics.3
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You SHOULD be proud of your weight loss. Congratulations! It's not easy, as you know, some days are better than others. I'm sorry someone rained on your parade. Perhaps don't share so much information next time, it's a lot. Don't give others something to start ragging on. Or put it out there and don't let it effect you.1
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You win by not giving up.5
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Block the naysayer. It's an internet message board, not your life. Some random poster is irrelevant.
You know you need to eat better. Having somebody else tell you that isn't really helpful, unless you asked meaning you don't know where you went wrong. But you know what happened. You know you weren't always faithful to diet & nutrition. Scolding you for that helps no one.
Heaven knows my diary is an instruction manual for what not to do. Heck I'm sitting here right now thinking about eating a candy bar. I am resisting because I'm not actually hungry. I just want the candy because it's there & well, gee, it's candy.
Going over once in a while or when you are sick isn't the worst thing. Deprivation almost guarantees you won't stick to a diet because it's simply no fun & you feel bad about what you can't have. Work on portion control. My current "cheat" which seems to really help is a small handful of M&Ms rather than a whole candy bar. I get my sugar / chocolate fix but don't down 250 calories. Again, you can have a sliver of pie, but not the whole pie. get my drift?
You lost 9, maybe 10 pounds, in a month. That's awesome. Not that we should compare ourselves to other but I have only managed to lose 15 pounds in 4 months so you are doing better than me. Also 10 pounds in a month is about 2.5 pounds a week. You are actually ahead of the curve; it really should be no more than 2 for healthy weight loss & the ability to keep it off. Plus you did that while admittedly being "bad" so maybe you weren't as bad as you think.
So chin up!2 -
Thanks you guys. It just really hurt! She was legitimately angry with me. Honestly, she sounded like she was angry I was doing well despite having issues. Maybe she's not doing so well losing weight eating healthier and it bugs her that I am? I mean I am starting way bigger than this person though so she should understand I will lose quicker and easier for now. The group I'm in I even helped name and I have been in for a while, but with new members it's starting to suck big time. It was meant to be able to post your weaknesses AND strengths. I just really need support somewhere because of my past issues with ED and it keeps me on track. When I get depressed and think I can't succeed I either binge or purge (fast for days) and I do not want to go there.0
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Block the naysayer. It's an internet message board, not your life. Some random poster is irrelevant.
You know you need to eat better. Having somebody else tell you that isn't really helpful, unless you asked meaning you don't know where you went wrong. But you know what happened. You know you weren't always faithful to diet & nutrition. Scolding you for that helps no one.
Heaven knows my diary is an instruction manual for what not to do. Heck I'm sitting here right now thinking about eating a candy bar. I am resisting because I'm not actually hungry. I just want the candy because it's there & well, gee, it's candy.
Going over once in a while or when you are sick isn't the worst thing. Deprivation almost guarantees you won't stick to a diet because it's simply no fun & you feel bad about what you can't have. Work on portion control. My current "cheat" which seems to really help is a small handful of M&Ms rather than a whole candy bar. I get my sugar / chocolate fix but don't down 250 calories. Again, you can have a sliver of pie, but not the whole pie. get my drift?
You lost 9, maybe 10 pounds, in a month. That's awesome. Not that we should compare ourselves to other but I have only managed to lose 15 pounds in 4 months so you are doing better than me. Also 10 pounds in a month is about 2.5 pounds a week. You are actually ahead of the curve; it really should be no more than 2 for healthy weight loss & the ability to keep it off. Plus you did that while admittedly being "bad" so maybe you weren't as bad as you think.
So chin up!
Trust me I was bad. I ate 1/4 of a pie and pizza in one sitting lol. A lot of pizza. Probably all totaled like 2400calories at once. It was BAD but I was sick with a fever for 2 days and I hadnt eaten so I was like to hell with it...lol. I rarely eat sweets too. I just didn't care and was craving it. But Im sure part of that 3.4lbs as I said was from the previous 11 days. I probably shed extra water that I was holding since I was feverish and eating less at first, etc. I always had a quick metabolic rate and lost pretty quickly. And I am technically obese so I can lose easier than some people since my body needs more calories to maintain. I will toss in exercise later, but I am losing weight fast already and I don't want to over due it, plus I want to get my diet under control more. One step at a time... Thank you for putting it into better perspective. I almost cried. I mean it was like good news after a stressful few weeks and I'm sensitive so it really was discouraging.0 -
Maybe she's jealous, maybe she's not - does it matter?
You can do it, don't give up even when it seems others are against you. YOU are doing it and that's what matters.1 -
Sometimes people say things thoughtlessly (not meaning to hurt), sometimes they need to feel better about themselves (again not with intention of hurting you per say) and sometimes people are just mean.
You can't control them but you can control your reactions by not letting them derail your progress. Listen, learn then dismiss if nothing can be gained by it.2 -
MsAmandaNJ wrote: »Maybe she's jealous, maybe she's not - does it matter?
You can do it, don't give up even when it seems others are against you. YOU are doing it and that's what matters.
I guess. I just wish I knew why people find the need to bring others down. If you're happy about your progress, even if it's 1oz, I will celebrate with you! I find the need to over-analyze when someone doesn't do the same. lol.0 -
Sometimes people say things thoughtlessly (not meaning to hurt), sometimes they need to feel better about themselves (again not with intention of hurting you per say) and sometimes people are just mean.
You can't control them but you can control your reactions by not letting them derail your progress. Listen, learn then dismiss if nothing can be gained by it.
I have a long way to go I guess. I don't care what that one person thinks specifically, but I start to wonder if it's just true and everyone thinks so and I'm just a horrible person for stating what I did. I never figured it was evil to say, hey, I ate some crap food and still lost weight. yay! lol but she made it sound like it was so I kind of was confused. Lol.0 -
Don't take ANYTHING personal. It doesn't mean you'll end up being an unemotional person. It's just that people with opinions DON'T CARE if you succeed or not, so don't bother upholding their opinions as if they mattered. This also applies to people who are close to you.
RESULTS speak for themselves. Let that be your guide.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Verity1111 wrote: »MsAmandaNJ wrote: »Maybe she's jealous, maybe she's not - does it matter?
You can do it, don't give up even when it seems others are against you. YOU are doing it and that's what matters.
I guess. I just wish I knew why people find the need to bring others down. If you're happy about your progress, even if it's 1oz, I will celebrate with you! I find the need to over-analyze when someone doesn't do the same. lol.
Because some people are *kitten*.
Just keep working at it.1 -
Maybe she saw it as bragging because she hasn't learned to control impulse eating yet.
Maybe she worried you were slipping into old habits because your former ED sounds very similar to the pattern of eating you described in the first post. It could be that she was trying to help you realize that old habits are coming back.
How about privately messaging her to clear the air? It's better than over analyzing.2 -
Maybe she saw it as bragging because she hasn't learned to control impulse eating yet.
Maybe she worried you were slipping into old habits because your former ED sounds very similar to the pattern of eating you described in the first post. It could be that she was trying to help you realize that old habits are coming back.
How about privately messaging her to clear the air? It's better than over analyzing.
She blocked me and I her lol it went downhill fast. I didnt know her well and she didnt know about my ED. No matter what I said she kept complaining and getting angry. No my old patterns were nothing like this. My ED was not eating for 5-10 days at a time and eating a whole tub of ice cream after dinner as if it was normal or devouring half of an 18" pizza plus sides multiple times a week at other times. Now I just fast a couple days because I feel sick maybe 3-4 a month maybe less. But Im sick often and have a lot of specialists Im supposed to see. I get cramps/IBS issues and I had a fever so thats why I missed those days. Even after I explained it she kept rambling and complained about *what* I ate as well. I had mentioned the good foods I ate too. That kind of went unnoticed lol We often post our monthly progress there or experiences which was all I was doing.0 -
Don't take ANYTHING personal. It doesn't mean you'll end up being an unemotional person. It's just that people with opinions DON'T CARE if you succeed or not, so don't bother upholding their opinions as if they mattered. This also applies to people who are close to you.
RESULTS speak for themselves. Let that be your guide.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Thank you. That means a lot. I just hope it keeps going. I know weight comes off fastest when you start so it will likely slow down, but I'm still happy with this for now. Even if I lost 5lbs in a month or less it's something. I have a long way to go till my goal (127).0 -
HEy I think the others gave you great advice! I have Crohn's, and just wanted to add that homemade broth is amazing if you feel like you can't eat due to IBS symptoms. Just throw some bones into the crock pot, fill it with water, salt, lemon juice. If you chop up your own vegetables, save the stocks (Stalks?) for the soup. Save the water in Tupperware, and freeze it for the future. It's easy to digest and you still get some nutrients.2
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Well done on the weight loss.. you have lost 10lbs on a bad month.. just imagine what you could loose next month if you had a better month.. I feel wen I am very strict I am more likely to break and binge eat. So the odd small treat is better and we can hopefully stay on track longer.. I am hoping to loose around 10 more lbs this month.. and I wil be very happy if I manage it.. good luck. X1
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Thank you both too! Yes right now I have acid reflux
one of my other issues! and Im not sure what I can stomach. 0 -
Just wondering if you ever tried to stop eating wheat/gluten products? I just finished a book called Wheat Belly and some of the effects that wheat can do to you. , without having celiac. Sorry that that person hurt you. There is no room for being mean.
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People interact with each other through such a limited medium here and for such short windows that one person's frustration gets taken out on someone else or a genuinely well meaning person passes along bad information. It doesn't matter how it happened, it was hurtful. I am sorry they harshed your happiness. I am glad you are able to see progress and are inspired to continue. Do what you can to keep feeling that way.
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