Looking at your before photos

I don't feel bad or shame.

Have you watched those Michael Thurmond 6 weeks body makeover infomercials? There is a stage he referred to as "blueprinting" .... Basically, you deface your photo. I like to do that to my old pics and compare them to my newer pics. Then again, I "blueprint" my new pics too. Kinda like a progression gallery of my fitness journey. Helps me keep my ideal body desires for me real. There is always room for improvement.

Googled it for you.

I felt shocked and disgusted right after I took my first "before" photo. haha. I took my second "progress" photo a few weeks ago. It is nice to see things changing.. but I won't be happy until I see the "old" me in those photos.

What I think OP is talking about.. is how you are the same person as in that first photo.. but it is sad that we didn't respect our health and bodies...and we reflect on the wasted time of not being our best.

And nice to hear about the Six Week Body Makeover. I did that eating plan years ago..and it worked for me. However, great for losing but not sustainable i.e.: no salt at all make all your own food and eating every 2.5 or 3 hours.

I feel more embarrassed than ashamed, embarrassed that I let myself get to that point.

I was at a low point in my life at my heaviest. I didn't care about my appearance at all. I had a huge ugly beard, short fluffy hair, and was miserable all the time. I don't like showing people my pictures, even though my wife still has them on a Facebook album. Especially now, that I've gained a bit of weight, I don't want to look at them, but I force myself because I don't want to become that person again.

OP, I totally know what you mean.

Sometimes I look at old photos of me at my heaviest and I look really happy. I remember being really happy at the time as well. But when I see them now I think: "How could I be so happy? Didn't I know how fat I was?" This is especially true if the picture involves me being happy around food. I get really nasty thoughts in my head like: "This is how you got to be huge! Step away from the cake!"

Again, just like you, being really honest. I know fat me was allowed to be happy. I would never, ever, look at my friends who are still overweight and think they should somehow not be allowed to fall in love or enjoy their lives until they were at a healthy weight. But when it comes to judging my old self I'm certainly not that gracious.

I have prosopagnosia (face-blindness: my brain doesn't process faces correctly). I quite literally don't recognize myself at my heaviest. My eye color is the same, obviously, and I have a distinctive birth mark which is still there, but it doesn't look like me. I remember the clothes I wore (and I definitely remember how great it was to lose enough weight to not fit into them!), but I don't recognize my face.

When I took them I was sad. Now I am happy I have them.

I used to get angry that I let myself go like that when I saw my before pictures. I'd get angry that I spent so much time being upset with others for my weight problem when it wasn't their fault; I chose to put their needs and problems before my own self care. Lately I've been using them as a warning- don't go back there again.

At the time, I knew I was way overweight but I don't think I fully grasped just how fat I had actually gotten and looking at pictures was a big part of what brought me around to reality. I felt a combination of shame, anger, disgust, sadness... Now, those feelings are still there along with regret but they are greatly diminished and joined by a sense of pride and accomplishment. Those pictures are now a reminder of just how far I have come as well as a cautionary tale.

I love looking at "before" -- I'm still a work in progress, though. But it's really motivating. Especially when putting one next to a current and comparing -- it keeps me motivated to keep going. Like... WOW! If I look this much better since then, just imagine how great I'll look when I hit goal!

I try to remember: I had an awesome time in that photo. Someday I will be old, wrinkly, spotted, maybe hunched over or blind, and eventually: dead. That "before" me, that is ME, that is a real to goodness ME enjoying life! It doesn't matter what I looked like, as long as I was happy. Now, in my opinion, we don't want to just look good, we want to feel good, and we want to live long healthy lives so that we can feel good. If you look at that photo of you from before, and can say "I was happy there, look at my life, look at that friend, that pizza, that laughter, that silly face, that dance, those crazy sunglasses, that purple hair, that bonfire, the smiles on our faces etc" -> there is NOTHING to be ashamed of regarding how you look in that photo. You can admit to yourself that you weren't the healthiest, or the prettiest, or the most alert or whatever -> yes, admit that to yourself, but do not let it detract from the person you were or the times you had.

Now, in my opinion, if you were very depressed in the photo, maybe it's just a bad time in your life or whatever -> look at that photo, look at you, and say "I love you, I'm looking at you and I will always love you" because you MUST love yourself, especially when you feel like nobody else could. You can always try to be better, opportunity will always be there whether it's your health, education, career, or relationships. You can always improve something, it's not anything to be ashamed of! And remember, every single day you are a "before" for your future; love yourself, live your life, no matter how you look.