Mother-in-Law Sabotage?

katyrose221
katyrose221 Posts: 69 Member
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
Last week my Mother-in-Law and her mother was staying with us (a total of 10 days). She knows that I have been trying to lose weight and that I prefer a low-carb/low-sugar eating regimine right now. Typically I keep one bag of chips and maybe some kind of treat from my husband in the house and that is about it. Well the day after they arrived, we went to Walmart and my MIL says to me, "I know that you aren't eating this type of stuff right now, but I need it, so I am buying it." I didn't know what to say, so I let her fill my house with bags of cheetos, fritos, three to four different kinds of icecream, cake, bags and bags of mini chocolate bars and loads of other unhealthy items. Add in going out to eat nearly once a day and the deck was stacked against me. As you can imagine, I, of course gave in. I am only so strong and seeing these things every time I opened the fridge or freezer, or being offered several times a day or seeing others partake, made my caving almost inevitable.

In the past when she has stayed with us or we with her, I haven't seen such an abundance of junk food bought. It almost made me wonder if she panicked when she realized how little I kept in the house and so over bought. I hope she wasn't sabotaging me on purpose.

She is gone now, and we still have more than half of what she bought remaining. I hate waste and so i don't want to trash it all. I am bulking up my will power to resist like I did before she was here. I fear, however that my 10-day relapse has snowballed. The last three days I have found myself eating fastfood for lunch (one day I even had a shake) and I have stopped eating my normal healthy breakfast. I feel like I am having to re-start my mental game with my weight loss.

Also, how should I address this in the future? Should I have said something about needing to limit the amount of junk in the house? That it is like putting beer in the fridge of a recovering alcoholic? Or do I just need to work on my will power more? Is there another option?

Replies

  • tam120
    tam120 Posts: 444 Member
    Waste! Pretend they ate it all and throw it away!
  • tmd01029
    tmd01029 Posts: 12
    Throw it away - if you dont want it, it is junk. Be strong!!
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
    heres my rule of thumb. if you have a problem with the mil, tell hubby and he knows how to handle her better than you ever could. ive prepped mine and told him, i dont like when she, fill in the blank, and i wont tell her, i have him break it to her but in his tone and his way. he doesnt say it was me he says that maybe this shouldnt be done. i say give all the food away at work or have friends come over and maybe trade some of that food for some fruits and they can have your crap. maybe she might have been trying to sabotage or not, but dont dwell on it. get back on the horse so to speak, and today is a new day. good luck and sorry about the long trip
  • Floricienta
    Floricienta Posts: 209
    I say throw it away or give it away.
  • mike_littlerock
    mike_littlerock Posts: 296 Member
    wow. that is tough.
    my ex-wife would sabotage me all the time. I would be perfectly happy eating a boneless/skinless chicken breast and a veggie for dinner, but she would say that shes "not eating that crap" and would order pizza, etc.. the sad and pathetic part is that she would order hot wings too, Knowing I loved them (she hated hot wings, so it was a clear sabotage move)
    Im human, and have my weaknesses and I admit that if the stuff is in the house temptation takes over at times. I understand you hate waste, but I bet that you have friends with kids, or people that like junk food that would be happy to take it off your hands.
    I am not going to try to tell you what to do, but i know that my wife and I know that temptation is hard to resist at times and we just dont keep it in the house at all. we have had friends over for dinner and if we get chips/etc. for the dinner party, we make people take it with them at the end of the night so we are not facing temptation.
    Some people will try to tear us down because we are taking the steps and making the tough decisions to improve our lives and to get healthy. I hope that its not a conscious thought, but it seems like some people will try to sabotage by words or deeds, so that they do not have to face the fact that they need to make changes in their lives.
    Best of luck to you!
    Mike
  • dodd319
    dodd319 Posts: 228
    My in-laws will be here next week & they usually buy a lot of cookies & stuff as well. She's pretty excited about my weight loss so I'm hoping this visit will be different.

    But if I were you, instead of wasting the stuff, I'd take it to work and give it all away.
  • Amymag
    Amymag Posts: 1
    My guess would be that she overbought in more of an effort to have "fun" stuff in the house for her Sweet Baby Boy after she leaves, rather than an attempt to sabotage your efforts.

    As far as getting your mojo back, I totally get how hard it is to get back on the wagon after a tumble, but start one step at a time. If you manage to bypass the fast food one day, put that $6 in a piggy bank towards a killer pair of pumps once you get to your goal. Or try to remember how long you have to run on a treadmill (or, worse, how many Insanity discs you have to do) to burn off that Big Mac. Or just try chewing a bite of fast food 25 times and REALLY think about how it tastes.

    The chewing thing is usually enough for me.

    Good luck!
  • Gettinfit2
    Gettinfit2 Posts: 254 Member
    Junk looks much better in the trash than on you. Plus, don't treat yourself ilke a garbage can. Throw it away.

    As for your MIL, you can ask her to buy personal portions.
  • mgmlap
    mgmlap Posts: 1,377 Member
    Donate the non-perishable foods to a food bank. As far as the perishable stuff...dump it..
  • cranmuffin
    cranmuffin Posts: 25 Member
    When there is leftover food in my house that I don't want to be tempted with, I bring it to work and let my co-workers enjoy it. (It helps that I work with mostly men and food doesn't last more than 5 minutes around them). :bigsmile:
  • sars_68
    sars_68 Posts: 308 Member
    Mother in laws!! Law unto themselves! I've lost 5 stone and mine has never even noticed or said anything about it!! Even my neighbours mum in law noticed! But not my own!! :mad:

    Throw it away! x
  • bluespring
    bluespring Posts: 201 Member
    Yep...you were sabotaged.
    Bag it all up...and give it to a neighbor...or throw it away. Now! You didn't buy it....What do you care?

    Don't beat yourself up any more. It happened...it's over....it's done.
    Move on.
    Pick up where you left off. ...and just keep going.

    I would advise her...in the future...should she wish to stay with you again..there are rules. If she wants junk food...fine...She will keep it in her room..If you see any laying around....throw it away. If it requires refrigeration...she can only bring in what she will eat...in one day. If it's still there when you go to bed.....throw it away. She'll get the point...really fast.

    Stay strong.
    Good luck.
    You can do it!
    :bigsmile:
  • sars_68
    sars_68 Posts: 308 Member
    When there is leftover food in my house that I don't want to be tempted with, I bring it to work and let my co-workers enjoy it. (It helps that I work with mostly men and food doesn't last more than 5 minutes around them). :bigsmile:


    Good idea! :happy:
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
    I doubt sabotage was on her mind, but did she hold you down and put twinkies in your mouth? I would use the experience to look within, and ask yourself some hard questions. I'm not trying to minimize your perdicament, as I have similiar issues. But what really changes, in you, when the temptation is there? What trigger's you to "give in"? Is it the whole social aspect? Anxiety? Stress? There are two things that nobody can make you do in life; one is feel bad, and the other is to eat unhealthy food. These are choices that we make as individuals. One more thing, keep the junk food for the MIL's next visit and let her eat it. One other piece of advice; I HATE it when anybody says things like "Oh I know you are "on a diet", and don't eat these types of food". Just experienced that with my MIL, and she wanted to cook different stuff because of me. I told her that I will eat whatever she makes for everyone else. I told her I am not on a diet, just eating less, but nothing special. I hate the focus by everyone else, as to what goes in my mouth. That's why I keep telling my wife to not say anything about my caloric intake. I Hate the attention. Maybe you should low key the "diet" talk. Takes some pressure off.
  • HollyMcCaw
    HollyMcCaw Posts: 154 Member
    Mother In-laws are crazy. When I started running last summer she said to me "well don't get addicted, people get addicted to that you know" but she has no problem offering me a beer at 10:30am when she's "coffee'd out"
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
    No one can sabotage you except you. Throw it away. Bring it to work. Hand it to the guy on the freeway offramp.
  • TenLaws
    TenLaws Posts: 273
    Whether you throw it away or give it away, just get it out of your house and work on your will power. Anyone can put any kind of junk food in your face but only you can put it in your mouth and eat it.
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    Junk looks much better in the trash than on you. Plus, don't treat yourself ilke a garbage can. Throw it away.

    As for your MIL, you can ask her to buy personal portions.

    to elaborate on this one, the next time she comes, ask her to buy personal portions and let her know that you're asking because this last visit left a ton of left overs that DIDN'T GET EATEN and it took up space in your kitchen. :bigsmile:
  • dont_give_up
    dont_give_up Posts: 312 Member
    I know how you feel. My MIL is one of those who fries everything, and if it doesn't already have grease in it, she'll put it in there somehow. She lives only about 5 minutes away, so we see her often. When we go grocery shopping together, all I hear from her is "Don't you ever buy real food anymore?"
    I agree with the others, about donating your leftover junk. It may not be healthy, but for some, it will be the only food that they have to eat.
  • adrian_indy
    adrian_indy Posts: 1,444 Member
    You don't have to throw it away or give it away. Try not only drinking more water, but eating more fiber and snacking on healthy thing 5 times a day . Trust me, my will power isn't any better than yours and I have stuff in my house for the kids that I don't touch, and I think it is because I don't get the urge to binge since I eat so often.
  • MrBrown72
    MrBrown72 Posts: 407 Member
    She was so desperate to have it all, mail it back to her.
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
    She was so desperate to have it all, mail it back to her.

    postage due, of course :wink:
  • SeasideOasis
    SeasideOasis Posts: 1,057 Member
    She was so desperate to have it all, mail it back to her.

    postage due, of course :wink:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • katyrose221
    katyrose221 Posts: 69 Member
    Thanks all! My husband put a stop to me throwing it out or giving it away (he wants to and is eating it), but just writing my rant helped me focus my energy and I have been able to resist all the goodies. Still having withdrawal cravings again (which I now realize I hadn't had a craving for sugary goods in ages, until this slip), but have been drinking water every time I get one.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Throw it out. In the future ask why type of snacks she'd like in the house before she gets there and then purchase a minimum in advance just for her.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    It's probably tough to hear but I have to agree with those that say you only allowed her to sabotage you. Next time, speak up and say - ok, I don't mind if you buy a few things but I don't want all these leftover around when you go home. How about just one carton of ice cream and one box of cookies. If you want more, we can always come back to the store.

    Also, next time, have a big old heart-to-heart with yourself beforehand because she might not follow through with your request and she may just buy whatever the hell she wants. You are the only one in charge of how you act, no one else...

    And I know of what I speak - i went on vacation last year with the rest of my family who are HUGE junk eaters. My aunt even said "that's no FUN" when I suggested we try to stay away from all the crap that's usually around when we get together. That just blew my mind...what the heck does eating ice cream have to do with having fun? My idea of having fun is sitting around the table playing card games, sharing stories and laughing. An ice cream cone will only last a few minutes, an afternoon of making memories lasts a lifetime!
    Anyway, I somehow managed to eat pretty decently all week even with the temptations, got some activity in every day lost 2 pounds!!! It is possible!!!
  • gweid
    gweid Posts: 6
    My mom will bring three deserts for a weekend for just her, me and her husband. I finally told her just not to bring anything and I would handle the food. I hope it's not sabotage either, but she does it even when she knows both me and my husband are trying to lose weight. I would suggest just putting up with it and throwing it away when she leaves.
  • gweid
    gweid Posts: 6
    I always think "It will go to waste in the trash or in my body" and that helps me to just throw the junk food away
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