Terrified of the gym

Charlenelindsay5
Charlenelindsay5 Posts: 46 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I used to go to the gym regularly (about 6/7 yes ago) I felt great, looked pretty darn good, and never had a 2nd thought.

I had an incident at work where I was seriously assaulted a few years ago and everything seemed to go downhill. Add years of counselling, a depression and anxiety diagnosis, PTSD, 40 lbs, and I am now TERRIFIED of going to the gym.

I bought a membership 2 months ago and have gone... ONCE! I've driven by the gym lots, gym bag packed, and gone right back home. As I type this, I am sitting in the parking lot, trying to convince myself to go in... omg!

Please tell me I'm not the only one and that people overcome this?

Replies

  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    I'm sorry this happened to you. Do you have a good friend you can tell about this who can go with you the first few times? Or if not, could you talk to the gym about it on the phone and maybe someone could meet you and walk in with you? I would try that route. Good luck.
  • Charlenelindsay5
    Charlenelindsay5 Posts: 46 Member
    Thanks a lot for your responses...

    I have a friend that belongs to this gym but she is very rarely here (she works in a different city) Looks like tonight is another night that isn't going to work out for me (literally!) I can feel my anxiety shoot right up just sitting here... I can't believe I went from such a people person to terrified to walk into a gym.

    I tried working out at home, but with 5 children at home full time, 2 children part time, 3 dogs, a cat, husband, and a full time job, well, it didn't work out so well. Either WWIII is breaking out with the kids in front of me or a dog decides it's time to sit on my head and give me cuddles when I'm on the floor lol
  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    I don't have gym anxiety but I've had anxiety about other things in the past, so I sympathize.

    Can you find some positive thinking sources -- tapes or books -- and find one or two phrases that make you feel good and repeat those in the parking lot?

    We're not our thoughts or our feelings. We can stand aside and look at them and either go with them or not. We can even talk to ourselves as if we were two people ("I know you feel that way, but just for today, we're going to do something different and keep it simple. Let's go, come on.") And once you go inside (and I believe you will soon), just walk on a treadmill for 10 minutes. The next time do a little more. I will be walking on a treadmill in my town and so will all your MFP friends where they live, so remember you are not alone, but part of a fitness community.

  • pomegranatecloud
    pomegranatecloud Posts: 812 Member
    I've felt this way when trying a new gym or studio. I always have a ton of anxiety about trying a new place or new class, but once I do I'm always glad I did. The first time is always the hardest. Once you go you'll feel better and get into a routine.

    Not to pry, but are you still in counseling or receiving treatment? If not, starting again or just bringing this up to your provider might help.

  • Charlenelindsay5
    Charlenelindsay5 Posts: 46 Member
    Thanks :) I know that if I push though I will likely feel much better. I notice all my symptoms are increasing again, in all aspects of my life. I can't help but think that if I was back into a regular workout routine I might feel even half as good as I used to. I think it would help me HUGE! I just need to get myself in there.

    My next chance is Friday... 30 min elliptical I CAN DO IT!
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    could you also reach out to a crisis line? assault has such long-term effects, and they might understand how this feels.
  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    Charlenelindsay5 wrote: »
    Thanks :) I know that if I push though I will likely feel much better. I notice all my symptoms are increasing again, in all aspects of my life. I can't help but think that if I was back into a regular workout routine I might feel even half as good as I used to. I think it would help me HUGE! I just need to get myself in there.

    My next chance is Friday... 30 min elliptical I CAN DO IT!


    About trauma: my wonderful husband died because of a medical error. Afterwards, I refused to have anything to do with doctors for years. I can't stand even going into a hospital to visit a sick friend. But I'm an adult and know I need basic checkups, and want to visit my sick friends, so I've forced myself to get past it -- I ignore my thoughts and feelings and just walk in.

    Okay, here's the deal. You pledged to go in this Friday, so come back here and post what happened. If you do 30 minutes on the elliptical, great. Ten minutes, great also. If you just walk in and look around, fine. I will bookmark this thread and check to see if you let us know what happened.


  • jolive7
    jolive7 Posts: 283 Member
    Is this onset by just the gym or going other public places? Maybe you could hire a PT or just ask one of the gym staff to show you around that way there is less pressure just on you?
  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    PennWalker wrote: »
    Charlenelindsay5 wrote: »
    Thanks :) I know that if I push though I will likely feel much better. I notice all my symptoms are increasing again, in all aspects of my life. I can't help but think that if I was back into a regular workout routine I might feel even half as good as I used to. I think it would help me HUGE! I just need to get myself in there.

    My next chance is Friday... 30 min elliptical I CAN DO IT!


    About trauma: my wonderful husband died because of a medical error. Afterwards, I refused to have anything to do with doctors for years. I can't stand even going into a hospital to visit a sick friend. But I'm an adult and know I need basic checkups, and want to visit my sick friends, so I've forced myself to get past it -- I ignore my thoughts and feelings and just walk in.

    Okay, here's the deal. You pledged to go in this Friday, so come back here and post what happened. If you do 30 minutes on the elliptical, great. Ten minutes, great also. If you just walk in and look around, fine. I will bookmark this thread and check to see if you let us know what happened.


    Can't edit my post, but I want to say I hope you will come back (didn't mean to order you!). Best of luck.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    You really can do it and we are all routing for you.
    Would you feel safer with going to a group class or then if not have a PT until you feel comfortable.

    Post back to let us know how you are getting on.
    Good luck.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    This is such an unfortunate and stressful situation for you and I'm so sorry. I don't think you should force yourself into such an uncomfortable situation. I would encourage you to develop a home workout routine. There are lots of videos and info out there. Tons of MFPers do all their workouts at home.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    lorrpb wrote: »
    This is such an unfortunate and stressful situation for you and I'm so sorry. I don't think you should force yourself into such an uncomfortable situation. I would encourage you to develop a home workout routine. There are lots of videos and info out there. Tons of MFPers do all their workouts at home.

    Fitness blender.com is really good
  • janetennet
    janetennet Posts: 143 Member
    I'm so sorry for the anxiety that you face. The gym can be a scary place and in the same breath it can be a victorious place.

    Perhaps making some goals would be the best way to form the habit of getting to the gym, for instance;
    first goal -: walk in the door, go to the change rooms, leave
    second goal -: walk in the door, 10 minutes on the treadmill, leave
    (etc.)

    You can then build up to going for 30 minutes, 1 hour etc.
    Hoping that you can get past this hurdle which will lead to a stronger (in more ways than one) you. X
  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. While my situation wasn't the same as this, I had trouble driving when anxiety surfaced related to childhood molestation when my daughter reached the age I had been when the abuse had started for me. I basically had become agoraphobic as sort of protective mechanism for her.

    Anyway, I went into therapy for that. Every week, Ian, my therapist gave me an assignment to expose me to things a little bit more and more. There really was nothing for it but to just white knuckle it and do it. The mantra I was repeating to myself was that I wasn't going to let my father's uncle control my life any more. It was really hard, but it was worth it.

    So, as others have said, just start small. You drove to the gym. That's good. Next time, plan on one thing you'll do there and say you'll do it for 5 minutes and tell yourself your assailant won't rule your life anymore. YOU WILL WIN.

    Good luck.
  • Dogmom1978
    Dogmom1978 Posts: 1,580 Member
    Have you tried working out at home in a room with the door closed? (No kids or dogs to interfere)
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    Would it help to call ahead and set up a time to meet a member of the gym staff to show you around?
    My gym offers 2 free "training" sessions, which basically is a half tour. Check to see if your gym would be willing to do something similar.
  • amyinthetardis1231
    amyinthetardis1231 Posts: 571 Member
    Are you still in therapy? If you are seeing someone, maybe ask them to help walk you through a visualization exercise to practice walking in the gym before you have to physically go there. It's one way to face anxiety in a controlled setting where you can feel it, get through it, and then calm down again. If you aren't seeing anyone and your symptoms are worsening, maybe it's time for a tune up?
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    janetennet wrote: »
    I'm so sorry for the anxiety that you face. The gym can be a scary place and in the same breath it can be a victorious place.

    Perhaps making some goals would be the best way to form the habit of getting to the gym, for instance;
    first goal -: walk in the door, go to the change rooms, leave
    second goal -: walk in the door, 10 minutes on the treadmill, leave
    (etc.)

    You can then build up to going for 30 minutes, 1 hour etc.
    Hoping that you can get past this hurdle which will lead to a stronger (in more ways than one) you. X

    This is excellent advise.

    Set the goal low and achievable. Perhaps maybe talking to the manager and explaining things so the staff doesn't give you the side eye when you walk in and then just walk out- not that they would care- but I used to work at a front desk- if it wasn't a regular and they did something abnormal like walk in and then walk out several times it might cause some side eyes- so it might be helpful to A make a connection with someone you can talk to- and B. explain so you don't get questioned- or feel judged about your behavior.

    Set small goals.
    You can do this.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    Charlenelindsay5 wrote: »
    (which, really, I know I will)

    :):)

  • janetennet
    janetennet Posts: 143 Member
    Charlenelindsay5 wrote: »
    Wow! Your replies have been amazing... THANK YOU!

    The gym is usually unstaffed, and not very busy. I don't understand how seeing 3 or 4 people inside, through the windows, can freak me out so much. I told my daughter today that I would love if she would come with me. She said she really doesn't have the $ for a membership, and that it totally isn't her thing, but that her boyfriend or one of her friends that already go there would very likely join me.

    I'm going to go tomorrow. My 11 yr old has gymnastics from 5:30-8:30 and I live out of town so I usually just sit around waiting for her. I can take 30 min of that time and get through this. I just want the confidence I once had.

    I will be sure to check in tomorrow night and let you know if I survived (which, really, I know I will)

    You can do this! Small steps.
    Please let us know how you're doing and if you need any other encouragement or advice.

  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    Checking back to see how your day went. Let us know. We're all rooting for you. I'm sure once you start exercising there you will really enjoy it.
  • Dogmom1978
    Dogmom1978 Posts: 1,580 Member
    That's a fantastic start! Keep it up!
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  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    Well done for going and staying
  • PennWalker
    PennWalker Posts: 554 Member
    Charlenelindsay5 wrote: »
    I *did*, however, do 20 min on the elliptical at the gym before my hair appt today :wink: AND I survived. Terrified walking in, but lived to tell about it.

    Good for you! That's an accomplishment. I hope you enjoy many more sessions.

  • GottaBurnEmAll
    GottaBurnEmAll Posts: 7,722 Member
    Fantastic! Well done for your 20 minutes.

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