Bloody mothers!

hotpot83
hotpot83 Posts: 88
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
Has anyone else got someone in their life who really really winds you up? I saw my mother today for the first time a while and I told her that I'd started on my new healthy regime and life style... and that I had lost 11lbs since I started a couple of weeks ago... and her response.... "well, do you think you could actually stick to it this time?"
How awful is that? Really, honestly some people can be so horrible, I know Ive got a long long journey and Ill be fighting with my weight all my life, but thats down to me and the choices I make from now on and in the future..... just hate the way one mean comment can make you feel... anyone else have someone in the their lives who can ruin a perfectly lovely day with one mean comment?

L x

Replies

  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
    My Best friend said something like that to me.. I told her that Im ready to do this.. and that I have already dropped some pounds and inches and her words were: OH ANOTHER diet I give it a week... how mean is that? show some faith in me... yes I admit I have been on every fad diet there is.. but this is working for me... really made me sad and hurt my feelings :(
  • _Khaleesi_
    _Khaleesi_ Posts: 877 Member
    Wow. That is horrible!

    My inlaws are similar in nature. I really try to avoid them as much as possible but it is getting more and more difficult as wedding planning continues. They can't even talk to me with respect and yet they are now chastizing me for not calling them "mom and dad" or "mom and dad in law"

    Edited to Add: I had a "friend" who placed bets on how long my relationship with my boyfriend would last. She said 3 months tops. We're engaged. It's been 3.5 years. She is single and has lost me as friend.
  • Heather75
    Heather75 Posts: 3,386 Member
    My mother is similar to yours. She has the horrible gift of taking any positive and finding a way to put a negative spin on it.
  • My3Rayz
    My3Rayz Posts: 373
    You and I have the same mother! My mother once told me "You wouldn't win first prize in a beauty contest, but you wouldn't take last place either"?! WTF kind of compliment is that!

    UGH! I avoid talking to my mother as much as humanly possible :explode:
  • coderchris
    coderchris Posts: 79 Member
    Sometimes we have "special" people like that in our lives. Let it roll off of your back and keep pushing forward. Show her that yes you can do it, but do it for your health. Congrats on the 11 lbs. that is great.
  • Degator
    Degator Posts: 92 Member
    That is how a lot of people choose to motivate, unfortunately it rarely works. But don't worry about what anyone else thinks, you have to do this for you. No one else can do it for you! Keep at it regardless.
  • lijparsons
    lijparsons Posts: 258
    A while back, I had told my Mom that I had lost 15 pounds. Her reply was, "Well, you still have a lot more to go." You just have to let it roll off you. The stress I feel from dealing with my mother affects my relationship with my husband and my kids, and I have come to the conclusion that I either ignore her or cut her out of my life. Perhaps if you tell her how her comment made you feel, she may understand and try harder???
  • suewongie
    suewongie Posts: 24
    yea i do. The doctors are winding me up at the minute. ive not been feeling right for a couple of months and everytime i go they just tell me to lose weight. there driving me nuts. i am losing weight but obviosly something else is causing it. never mind. we get loads of support here so sod em!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    you know the best remedy for that. Prove her wrong!! use it as fuel for your fire
  • Eloveg
    Eloveg Posts: 25
    I used too, but I had to realize that they are just being themselves and it has nothing to do with me! When people are miserable....they love company & attention of any kind! Do not allow them to hook you......once they realize that they can no longer engage you into conversation or a reaction....they will stop doing it. They do it becuase they know what buttons to push with you. Remove the buttons!

    Good Luck!
  • DonaGail
    DonaGail Posts: 190 Member
    yep..Ive lost 58lbs and while walking with my dad in the hospital after spending the day with mom, a really thin older woman in short shorts got in front of us and he said "I bet you wish you were built like that"...um, no, shes like 65 and dressed way too young and by the way, thanks for not noticing my weight loss!
  • lemonychick
    lemonychick Posts: 81 Member
    My Mum doesn't make mean comments, she just completely ignores the fact that I have lost any weight at all. :sad:
  • phoenix9115
    phoenix9115 Posts: 24
    unfortunately thats my husband's role in my life..never a compliment,never any positive reinforcement..ever..
  • hotpot83
    hotpot83 Posts: 88
    My Best friend said something like that to me.. I told her that Im ready to do this.. and that I have already dropped some pounds and inches and her words were: OH ANOTHER diet I give it a week... how mean is that? show some faith in me... yes I admit I have been on every fad diet there is.. but this is working for me... really made me sad and hurt my feelings :(

    aww hun, thats really mean...friends are suppose to your chosen family-you deserve better! whether this is your millionth attempt or first, it shouldnt matter to people :) you'll be fine, Im glad that you say this is working for you! wtg!
  • polina_t
    polina_t Posts: 7
    Funny, but it's my mom with me too. Not that she's a bad person and she means for it to sound this way, but she's overly concerned that I'm losing too much weight and I'll become too skinny, so she told me one time that I looked like a crocodile with my new weight lol. She has also told me that now my head was too big for my body and it couldn't bear it (lol again, that's completely ridiculous :D ), but I never take these comments seriously and overall that's just another reason to make me laugh. So don't dig too deep and enjoy your new lifestyle- you don't need anyone's approval if you're feeling good with it ;)
  • hotpot83
    hotpot83 Posts: 88
    Wow. That is horrible!

    My inlaws are similar in nature. I really try to avoid them as much as possible but it is getting more and more difficult as wedding planning continues. They can't even talk to me with respect and yet they are now chastizing me for not calling them "mom and dad" or "mom and dad in law"

    Edited to Add: I had a "friend" who placed bets on how long my relationship with my boyfriend would last. She said 3 months tops. We're engaged. It's been 3.5 years. She is single and has lost me as friend.

    congrats on the engagement! and good for you, you bagged the man and you seem happy... just steer clear as much as humanly possible from the in laws- thats what I do with mine- but im lucky, they live in a different town :)
  • Caseyanna
    Caseyanna Posts: 53
    UGH! My mom drives me insane, too.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    While it is horrible to say, maybe that is just their weird way of showing motivation..You know, like they want you to prove them wrong? I thought that to myself everytime I used to start a diet and knew I wouldn't last. This is the most I've every lost and couldn't do it without my friends on here!!
  • hotpot83
    hotpot83 Posts: 88
    A while back, I had told my Mom that I had lost 15 pounds. Her reply was, "Well, you still have a lot more to go." You just have to let it roll off you. The stress I feel from dealing with my mother affects my relationship with my husband and my kids, and I have come to the conclusion that I either ignore her or cut her out of my life. Perhaps if you tell her how her comment made you feel, she may understand and try harder???

    Im lucky, I dont see her very often... so Im just gonna leave it I think, it'll only cause a war if I tell her she was inconsiderate-she'll throw her toys out of the pram... sometimes I think shes the daughter and Im the mother! Im sorry to hear your Mum is so inconsiderate too! :(
  • dandy_mandy
    dandy_mandy Posts: 34
    Thankfully, I have a very supportive family and group of friends, so most comments to me are along the lines of "well done" and "you're looking great" so I don't have to worry about the negativity. However, there are those few people that don't say it out loud, but I'm sure they're just waiting for another failure, or that next bacon cheeseburger or pizza that will toss me right off the wagon......again. I generally don't tell people that I'm on a diet or that I'm actively trying to lose weight and make life changes because I don't expect certain people to be supportive. With them, I'll just wait until I'm 50lbs down and listen to their praise. All that I can say is that this journey that you're on is YOUR journey. Do it for yourself and don't let the negativity of others get you down. And every time you start to think about failure, just think about the day that you reach your goal weight. For me, it's December of 2012. That seems like a million years away, but it's a heck of a lot better than December 2015.......which is how long I'll have to wait if I keep giving up on myself as I've done in the past. Be strong and know that you really can do it this time. THIS IS IT!!!!
  • rachel_96
    rachel_96 Posts: 9
    I feel your pain! My mom constantly compares me to other girls my age who have slimmer bodies than me and it's starting to get on my nerves. I feel like she can't except me for who I am now because she's always comparing me to when I was thinner. For example- a few days ago, she was helping me put on tanning lotion while I was in a bathing suit. She looks at my body from up to down and starts to laugh. It's truly horrible how insecure some people can be.
  • Brownski860
    Brownski860 Posts: 361 Member
    totally ignore her, your so much better than that...
    On a SMALL side note..... Be thankful you have a mom. I havent seen/spoken to mine in over 3 years. :frown:
  • hotpot83
    hotpot83 Posts: 88
    Thankfully, I have a very supportive family and group of friends, so most comments to me are along the lines of "well done" and "you're looking great" so I don't have to worry about the negativity. However, there are those few people that don't say it out loud, but I'm sure they're just waiting for another failure, or that next bacon cheeseburger or pizza that will toss me right off the wagon......again. I generally don't tell people that I'm on a diet or that I'm actively trying to lose weight and make life changes because I don't expect certain people to be supportive. With them, I'll just wait until I'm 50lbs down and listen to their praise. All that I can say is that this journey that you're on is YOUR journey. Do it for yourself and don't let the negativity of others get you down. And every time you start to think about failure, just think about the day that you reach your goal weight. For me, it's December of 2012. That seems like a million years away, but it's a heck of a lot better than December 2015.......which is how long I'll have to wait if I keep giving up on myself as I've done in the past. Be strong and know that you really can do it this time. THIS IS IT!!!!

    Your so right, I love your attitude hun-I really do... december 2012 isnt that far away hun, Im sure youll get there... Mine is June 2013... Ill be 30 then... and I want to have lots of lovely pictures in lovely smaller clothes having a lovely time on my birthday :) x
  • hotpot83
    hotpot83 Posts: 88
    totally ignore her, your so much better than that...
    On a SMALL side note..... Be thankful you have a mom. I havent seen/spoken to mine in over 3 years. :frown:

    My mum and I didnt speak for 12 months, but it really made things difficult for my Nan (whom I absolutely adore) so now I talk to my mum but only for family meals with my Nan, I was always a Daddys girl, but he died when I was 16 and I lived with my lovely lovely Nan then... Im sorry you dont speak to your Mum but I bet there are very very good reasons!
  • evilbanks
    evilbanks Posts: 166
    Use it to fuel your motivation and drive. Keep kickin' *kitten*.........
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    you know the best remedy for that. Prove her wrong!! use it as fuel for your fire

    ^^^ THIS!!!

    My Mom is really supportive thankfully but my brother made a comment like that when I announced I was going to try Weight Watchers again at the end of 2009. He kind of rolled his eyes and said "here we go again". I let it go a bit (and by that, I mean I didn't scream "thanks, jerk" at him) and decided I was going to show him!! He's now super supportive and even called me skinny (ha! not yet) the last time I saw him but that incident still pops in to my head now and then when I'm feeling tired and i get pumped again.
  • hotpot83
    hotpot83 Posts: 88
    you know the best remedy for that. Prove her wrong!! use it as fuel for your fire

    ^^^ THIS!!!

    My Mom is really supportive thankfully but my brother made a comment like that when I announced I was going to try Weight Watchers again at the end of 2009. He kind of rolled his eyes and said "here we go again". I let it go a bit (and by that, I mean I didn't scream "thanks, jerk" at him) and decided I was going to show him!! He's now super supportive and even called me skinny (ha! not yet) the last time I saw him but that incident still pops in to my head now and then when I'm feeling tired and i get pumped again.



    Thats a great story-you did bloody show him! fantastic! LOL @ skinny... bet that made you feel brilliant! :D
  • sweetsapphire85
    sweetsapphire85 Posts: 386
    I've had something similar with my mother. I'm learning to set up boundaries with her, I've told her when she starts being negative minded or critical of me it doesn't help me stick with my plan. So when she says that to me now, I reinforce that i accept her by telling her something simple like "I love you mom, but I have to leave" and I actually leave the house or go out. It was difficult for a bit, but she eventually got the picture and she stops making the comments since that is the only response she gets from me when she behaves that way. It takes a lot of consistency but it has helped.
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