This a serious issue this time

badgerface1k
badgerface1k Posts: 125 Member
edited November 13 in Chit-Chat
So today I have been thinking about my experience w/ being a formerly overweight male in comparison to women with heavier bodies in terms of how they are treated by society and I have come to the conclusion that we as people need some serious work. Males are taught to believe that this body type is so horrible that the actual person inside is to be rejected on sight without ever knowing them or considering that they have feelings. I believe that all women have some type of attractive characteristic. I don't like men and have no loyalty to them so I will say that it isn't the case that they aren't attracted to these women, it is only because they are insecure and want to be accepted by their peers. Evident in the fact that it is ok to have sex with such woman provided u are drunk and using her for sex. So what do u think about this
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Replies

  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Tbf, that's how I weed out asshats. If a guy feels so embarrassed to be with a fat woman just because she's fat, then he's not the kind of guy I want to be with anyways. Separates the men from the boys.
    I have a former coworker and friend who felt forced to dump his overweight girlfriend because his circle of friends made fun of him and made him feel like crap. He once texted me and was in tears.... man I miss her and I think I love her what do I do. I was like what the fudge....

    If he cared about what his friends thought of his girlfriend more than he cared about being with his girlfriend, then he didn't love her.
  • badgerface1k
    badgerface1k Posts: 125 Member
    Where and when I grew up this was a popular sticker to see on bikes and cars7kg83pywn9q4.png
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    my anecdotal experience from other men i've known individually and just from observation in general is that male culture can be really feral on certain levels. there's a level of it where women are status tokens. so, yeah. judgement and pecking order based on the kind of woman that they can 'get', in that sphere. you overhear it at the gym among certain populations of dick-bros. and as a woman you receive it in the form of 'be the kind of hot stuff that will impress other men' anxiety/pressure.

    i don't believe women are any more ugly to each other than men. guys police one another something fierce, imo.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    The only thing that occurred to me about this post is how common it is to see overweight/obese men in movies and TV shows, but I can count the number of chubby women I've seen on TV or in movies on my fingers.

    But I suppose it's not different than the 'women over 30 are too old to be with a 40+ guy' crap in movies either. Double standards FTL.
  • Owlie45
    Owlie45 Posts: 806 Member
    badgerface1k wrote: »
    Where and when I grew up this was a popular sticker to see on bikes and cars7kg83pywn9q4.png

    There's a guy that lives near me with one of those on his motorcycle.

    My cousin lived next to a guy with a sticker on his truck that said something to the effect "lift your truck fat girls can't jump"
    My cuz asked him one day how it does with skinny girls. He said all girls pretty much give him a dirty look when they see that. I think he ended up removing it.
  • Karb_Kween
    Karb_Kween Posts: 2,681 Member
    edited November 2016
    Francl27 wrote: »
    The only thing that occurred to me about this post is how common it is to see overweight/obese men in movies and TV shows, but I can count the number of chubby women I've seen on TV or in movies on my fingers.

    But I suppose it's not different than the 'women over 30 are too old to be with a 40+ guy' crap in movies either. Double standards FTL.

    King of Queens

    Family Guy - even though I know Family Guy is partly a parody of classic sitcoms so I'm pretty sure that was a intentional stereotype they're presenting

    The Honeymooners

    .. is Archie Bunker considere fat? Not sure I think Archie and Edith were about equally out of shape
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Tbf, that's how I weed out asshats. If a guy feels so embarrassed to be with a fat woman just because she's fat, then he's not the kind of guy I want to be with anyways. Separates the men from the boys.
    I have a former coworker and friend who felt forced to dump his overweight girlfriend because his circle of friends made fun of him and made him feel like crap. He once texted me and was in tears.... man I miss her and I think I love her what do I do. I was like what the fudge....

    If he cared about what his friends thought of his girlfriend more than he cared about being with his girlfriend, then he didn't love her.
    I think he did. He was spineless and was ashamed.

    Besides some of the people who bullied him were women. He was allegedly asked.... I can't believe you are dating her something like that...

    He's still pathetic
  • nfpswife
    nfpswife Posts: 63 Member
    My hubster found me when I was 120 lbs heavier, married me anyway. I think he took the time to get to know me and feelings developed. He loved me when I was heavier, and still loves me now. But I will say I was probably more fun when I was less obsessed with how many calories I was intaking.
  • southerngal222
    southerngal222 Posts: 15 Member
    _MistahJ_ wrote: »
    badgerface1k wrote: »
    Males are taught to believe that this body type is so horrible that the actual person inside is to be rejected on sight without ever knowing them or considering that they have feelings.

    Hmmm... I must've skipped that day.
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    _MistahJ_ wrote: »
    badgerface1k wrote: »
    Males are taught to believe that this body type is so horrible that the actual person inside is to be rejected on sight without ever knowing them or considering that they have feelings.

    Hmmm... I must've skipped that day.

    Yeah, I missed this life lesson as well...

    I think this whole things a pretty broad and sweeping generalization...

    Awwwww great guys!'
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Yeah but it's too common. I recently read an article where it said celeb men in Hollywood have secret overweight girlfriends whom they adore and love but won't publicly take them into the red carpet to avoid fat scrutiny and shaming.... the tabloids will go crazy. I recently went through an article which said "hot celebrities with ugly spouses". One was Pierce Brosnan and his wife looked just fine.... she was a little chunky.

    I don't think you can learn anything about real life from what celebrities do.
  • Taylor076097
    Taylor076097 Posts: 265 Member
    This is why Tess Holiday and her eff your beauty standards is pretty popular among younger plus size girls. It's something we deal with everyday and even the most confident person will crack under the pressure of " is he with me for a joke" but as said before.. that's what separates the boys from the men. On a similar note.. it's the same with lesbian dating as well.
  • Taylor076097
    Taylor076097 Posts: 265 Member
    Above posts doesn't mean you shouldn't get healthy. I don't want anyone to take it out of context
  • rosegirl233
    rosegirl233 Posts: 5 Member
    edited November 2016
    Unfortunately I know a lot of men who think this way, and have been treated like this personally as well. At the end of the day what matters is your health. Self-acceptance and being accepted by others is a great thing, but when your dead it doesn't matter. Being in a relationship is wonderful, but when your dead, that doesn't matter either. I have very little respect for men who treat their women this way, that's probably why I am so opinionated on this issue. What matters is your health. If these...extremely shallow males cannot love and support you, they do not matter. That's just what it comes down too. So imho, any woman who has a guy like this...kick his butt to the curb and work on yourself. Because when your dead...well, you know the rest.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    I think anyone has the right to like or be attracted to who or what they want. I don't really like blondes, or very overweight men. So what?
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    edited November 2016
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    I think anyone has the right to like or be attracted to who or what they want. I don't really like blondes, or very overweight men. So what?

    This' concerning prejudice, not preference! If you wouldn't insult an overweight and/or blond man, even though you aren't attracted to him; then you aren't prejudice!
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    I think anyone has the right to like or be attracted to who or what they want. I don't really like blondes, or very overweight men. So what?

    This' concerning prejudice, not preference! If you wouldn't insult an overweight and/or blond man, even though you aren't attracted to him; then you aren't prejudice!

    Oh yeah, of course not. I've even dated blonde men and I could probably fall for anyone. Just an initial preference.
  • DeficitDuchess
    DeficitDuchess Posts: 3,099 Member
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    DeficitDuchess wrote: »
    bbell1985 wrote: »
    I think anyone has the right to like or be attracted to who or what they want. I don't really like blondes, or very overweight men. So what?

    This' concerning prejudice, not preference! If you wouldn't insult an overweight and/or blond man, even though you aren't attracted to him; then you aren't prejudice!

    Oh yeah, of course not. I've even dated blonde men and I could probably fall for anyone. Just an initial preference.

    I understand!
  • badgerface1k
    badgerface1k Posts: 125 Member
    I will be the first one to tell u how great it feels to be in good physical condition after being obese and I would suggest others in my situation do the same. Anyone can do it if they keep trying. There is such a thing as a healthy obese person but that is not helpful to know
    because the person may be ok now but they will be at risk of way more heath problems later in life that they probably wouldn't have had if they were healthy, and that will reduce your quality of life status down to zero.
  • Taylor076097
    Taylor076097 Posts: 265 Member
    James gandolfini <3
  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,034 Member
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    km8907 wrote: »
    Tbf, that's how I weed out asshats. If a guy feels so embarrassed to be with a fat woman just because she's fat, then he's not the kind of guy I want to be with anyways. Separates the men from the boys.
    I have a former coworker and friend who felt forced to dump his overweight girlfriend because his circle of friends made fun of him and made him feel like crap. He once texted me and was in tears.... man I miss her and I think I love her what do I do. I was like what the fudge....

    If he cared about what his friends thought of his girlfriend more than he cared about being with his girlfriend, then he didn't love her.
    I think he did. He was spineless and was ashamed.

    Besides some of the people who bullied him were women. He was allegedly asked.... I can't believe you are dating her something like that...

    And if you love someone you shut those b****** down and be with who you want to be with.
    Yeah but it's too common. I recently read an article where it said celeb men in Hollywood have secret overweight girlfriends whom they adore and love but won't publicly take them into the red carpet to avoid fat scrutiny and shaming.... the tabloids will go crazy. I recently went through an article which said "hot celebrities with ugly spouses". One was Pierce Brosnan and his wife looked just fine.... she was a little chunky.

    It's the same attitude that pervades. In NYC, if you are hanging out with a chunky girl.... you are either undateable, looking for a green card or have erectile issues. And this is what is spoken about among women. It's not the men propagating these stories.

    So...You're a woman?
  • Sinistrous
    Sinistrous Posts: 5,589 Member
    I typed a very long paragraph, but then I just ctrl+a and deleted it. Ima just lurk. Yup.
  • columbus2015
    columbus2015 Posts: 51 Member
    The north American/ European concepts of beauty have gotten way overblown. Travel outside of these areas and you quickly how superficial we are. Most other cultures regard weight no different than height;. Just a static. Likewise moles and skin blemishes.

    Don't even get me going on the obsession that both genders seem to have with breast size...
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    I've seen some pretty awesome women get treated very badly because of their weight.

    I had a college housemate break up with his girlfriend of three years solely because of her weight ( and she wasn't all that heavy). She was crestfallen and although I still liked the guy, I will always remember how cruel it all seemed.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    edited November 2016
    I live in an area where most of the men are HOT. If I judged couples as I see them, or if I judged attached women from among women who were also getting fitted for the Marines Ball, as my sis and I were, then I/we need to put on at least 50 to 70 lbs to be in contention for marriage. Most of the young soon to be brides were at least 200 lbs - sizes 20/24. As we saw it, and we did discuss it at length that it was almost as if, women who are "smaller" are merely for "fun times" and plus sized women are marriagiable. Major blow to your self esteem, especially since we had just lost the weight.

    Another example is a specific male friend whose wife ballooned to around 280 lbs when she'd gotten pregnant. She took up MJ and severe caloric restrictions to lose the weight post partum. She is 118 lbs at 5ft 10 today. He abhors her new weight, stating that she now resembles her tween aged boys. "No curves ... Nada" Her brother agrees with the hubby. My sis and I think she looks gorgeous ... She looked tired and unhappy bigger.

    We women just need to let it go and let it happen. If he likes you, he will let you know, no matter your size. Bigger women get more action, at least in my community. When you're smaller, hit the gym or run, because that will be the only action you'll be seeing.
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