GETTING UNSTUCK

I started this weight loss journey in January 2013; I had a desire to get healthy and become a Correctional Officer. In 6 short months I lost 62.5 LBS, and had renewed energy, passion and love for fitness!! However in October 2013 I was sexually assaulted and blamed my weight loss for the assault so I gave control/power to my abuser. I stopped exercising, I ate to help my uncontrollable emotions and I I even left a career I was passionate about. By April 2014; I had gained almost 100 LBS (YEP; all the weight and more) I was falling into a deeper hole of depression, self-hate and feelings of failure..... I settled for less than I deserved: I settled for a career I truly didn't want, I settled for unhealthy relationships and I settled with being overweight and unhappy!


For over a year I gained and lost the same weight; usually gaining more than before. I entered various unhealthy relationships (dating and friendships), I turned to alcohol to numb the pain and you know what it didn't help! I ended up being sexually assaulted again on March 1st of this year (2016); that following weekend I decided life didn't want me anymore and I drank until I passed out………………………...


BUT I SURVIVED and there was a reason but yet I didn’t know what it was but I knew I wanted to find out why. On March 7th; I committed to getting sober (today marks 264 days); yet I kept getting involved with bad friendships and longing to be loved by a guy; however, I was the one always left hurting. On June 19th I lost my job as a crisis intervenor at women’s shelter and honestly I fell apart completely…. I self-harmed, I became very depressed and I didn’t want to do anything to better myself.


On July 19th; a whole month after losing my job I had a reality check from a friend and it rocked me and I decided that I will do what needs to be done to get healthy; I decided to start with seeing a psychiatrist, where I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and Depression. I plugged into counselling; I do my homework, I practise the skills and I accept I have mental illnesses. This was my focus for a few months and on September 29th; I decided to stop self-harming (today marks 58 days), I decided to partake in a group session and I am loving that: even learning skills I didn’t know about. No it hasn’t been easy I struggle daily some weeks BUT I keep fighting!! I battle these mental demons but I keep coming on victorious!


I am here now because I want to achieve my next biggest goal I want to lose 210 LBS, I want to become the healthiest not only on the inside but on the outside!! I want to compete in events, I want to be that athlete that got lost years ago, I want to be proud of myself and my achievements!!! I don’t want to do this for anyone else, I want to do this for ME!!! I WILL do this for me!!! Honestly, I want to pursue that career I left; a career as a Correctional Officer


I AM DONE BEING A VICTIM: I WILL PURSUE MY PASSION AND I WILL DO EVERYTHING I SET FORTH TO DO!!!




My starting stats are as followed:
Weight: 372 LBS
Waist: 62”
Hips: 63”
Upper stomach: 49”
Bust: 46”
Shoulders: 53”
Thighs: 32.5”
Forearms: 9”
Biceps: 18”
Calves: 19.5”
Wrist: 7.5”
BMI: 56.1
Body Fat: 48.7%

I WOULD LOVE NEW FRIENDS