Is it really okay?

Athena413
Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
So...it's almost 8pm and I haven't worked out today (and really don't plan on it) but I'm over on my calories by about 1,500. Yeah...I know...that's a lot. Anyway, not making excuses, but we had birthday treat day at work today, so for "breakfast" I had a brownie, a normal sized piece of lemon cake (nothing huge), a scoop of ice cream with 1 tbsp caramel and 1 tbsp fudge, and mid-afternoon I had a root beer float. Could have been MUCH worse. For lunch I had Thai food, but actually split the meal with someone, so I didn't have a crap-ton of food at lunch. And for dinner we had chicken enchiladas (I ate 2) and some mexican rice (1 cup). I realize I should have gone without the sweets...that's a no-brainer. I also could have chosen a healthier dinner option. Either way, I've logged my food, I'm way over, and that is just that for today.

Now as soon as I push the button to be finished for the day, I know I'm going to get the obligatory responses of "It's okay - tomorrow is another day". But my question is this: Is it really okay? I feel guilty and know I've done something wrong (as far as taking care of my body) but people tell me it's okay? It's all those "okay" days that add up over time to make us fat...so...is it really okay?

Either way, I guess I'm just frustrated with myself and venting a little bit. I know this thread is probably going to produce some "candy coated" responses of "everyone has those days" or whatever, but I can't really share my frustrations with my perfectly in shape husband as he chows down on nachos...so...yeah...thanks for listening, I guess. :smile:

Replies

  • Eliza1980
    Eliza1980 Posts: 303 Member
    If this is something that happens on a regular basis, then no it's not okay. If this was one random bad day then don't beat yourself up about it and start fresh tomorrow.
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
    If this is something that happens on a regular basis, then no it's not okay. If this was one random bad day then don't beat yourself up about it and start fresh tomorrow.

    It doesn't happen on a regular basis for ME...but for a lot of people it does. And when it happens, people seem to try and make that person feel better by telling them it's okay...when in reality it's not. I think some people need tough love to get past their addictions, if you will. I'm frustrated with myself, but I'll get over it because I know, for me, that tomorrow is another day and will be better. I just feel sorry for the people who actually believe that it's okay and DO make a habit out of it because no one ever told them it wasn't okay.
  • lstnlondry
    lstnlondry Posts: 1,794 Member
    i will try NOT to candy coat. What you did may have in the past made you the way you are now. But now that you are here and have made a deicision to take care of yourself, you learn from this. If you spend the evening feeling guilty you will get no where. If you find yourself in this position again tomorrow (over calories) remember this feeling right now. Otherwise you won't be able to move forward and make the changes. PS:I have had the same kind of days but you actually recorded them so that is awesome!
  • Crimson_Lotus
    Crimson_Lotus Posts: 9
    Hun, it doesn't sound like this is a daily thing for you.

    Don't beat yourself up too much. It'll make things worse.

    Tomorrow is a new day. Start over. I know I'm going to have to!

    Celeste
  • yeabby
    yeabby Posts: 643 Member
    I totally feel like crap when I go over. I always try to burn the calories over the next few days. This keeps it from become a routine of eating too much. Good luck to you.

    Do people really comment when your diary isn't under?
  • CraftyJenguin
    CraftyJenguin Posts: 28 Member
    This might be candy-coated, but yes I think it's ok. I think that the fact that you recognize your food decision mistakes proves that you are learning how to eat properly. As long as you don't make a habit of crazy days, I think you'll be fine. I'm probably a little extra sympathetic because a) I had one of those days, and b) I have a "perfectly in shape" boyfriend who chows down on cheese sticks.
  • DancinSMartiPants
    DancinSMartiPants Posts: 363
    You don't lose weight permanently with one great day, and you don't gain weight permanently with one horrible one. Look at your weekly stats. Are you at or below your calorie targets 90+% of the time? If so, you're fine. If not, it might not be okay.

    My two cents.
  • babydraco269
    babydraco269 Posts: 99
    It depends on how often you have those days. If you're having those days once or twice a week, then no, it's not ok, and you're not going to be successful at this. If it happens once every few weeks, then yeah, ok, whatever, but if you really feel guilty at least go for a little 15 minute walk or something. There's nothing wrong with slipping, as long as you really slip, instead of just not caring. You're on this site for help, and so are the rest of us, which means we all have those days and problems with temptations. We're not going to say anything negative to you because we want you to come back and keep trying, we want to help you and see you succeed, and we want you to do the same for us. so yes, its ok today, it is what it is, life goes on, we forgive you, but fix it tomorrow, ya know?
  • CarlydogsMom
    CarlydogsMom Posts: 645 Member
    I think when you let yourself think "well, it was one of those days, dust yourself off, begin again..." you allow yourself to rationalize those types of days over and over again. It's fine to some extent, but you're telling us it wasn't fine for you. So what maybe you can take from this is learn from it, and figure out a plan for when you are facing a similar circumstance in the future. Allow one "bad" meal on a day like that instea of three "bad" meals. Bring your own snacks. Whatever works for you. Learn from it, and don't forget how bad a day like that made you feel afterwards. Use it as a lesson.
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
    How's this take on it, then? That guilt you're feeling about it is GOOD. That means that you're less likely to go over by so much in the future. Think of it as trying to run on a rocking ship...at first, we stumble a lot as we get our sea legs, and even after we've been doing it for awhile, sometimes we still stumble. The idea is that each time we get bruised, we learn something and avoid getting our legs tangled up in the first place. Or, like it sounds like you did, you do your best to find your footing again mid-stumble and reduce the damage as much as possible once the stumbling has already started....uhhhh...okay, that metaphor got away on me. :laugh: But hopefully you know what I mean. :smile:
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
    Honestly 1500 calories over is a lot. But if you compare it to your actual maintenance calories for your weight you might not actually be that much over.

    Your maintenance calories is your BMR x activity level. I use 1.2 for sedentary so that it's a low balled number.

    Now to your question does it really matter if it's ok or not? If we were to tell you it's not ok what would you do about it? It's already happened and there isn't anything you can do about it.

    Just use this as a learning experience and move on. Stressing out about it isn't going to help you in any way.
  • lapamperedchef
    lapamperedchef Posts: 61
    Ok now you realize that eating like this makes you feel bad. So tomorrow you start over. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go. I always keep a list of what I want to look like, how i want to feel, goal, ect on me at all time so I can say no to ice cream or whatever after a dinner date with my husband. But even I have days where I don't do so well and I forgive myself and start fresh.
  • CraftyJenguin
    CraftyJenguin Posts: 28 Member
    If this is something that happens on a regular basis, then no it's not okay. If this was one random bad day then don't beat yourself up about it and start fresh tomorrow.

    It doesn't happen on a regular basis for ME...but for a lot of people it does. And when it happens, people seem to try and make that person feel better by telling them it's okay...when in reality it's not. I think some people need tough love to get past their addictions, if you will. I'm frustrated with myself, but I'll get over it because I know, for me, that tomorrow is another day and will be better. I just feel sorry for the people who actually believe that it's okay and DO make a habit out of it because no one ever told them it wasn't okay.
    You have a point here. I was friends with a girl on here who constantly seemed to have these crazy days. Almost every Monday she'd talk about the beers, nachos, pizza, etc she had and complain because she wasn't losing weight. Her other friends always told her it was ok and not to worry about it. I finally had to unfriend her.
  • julieinomaha
    julieinomaha Posts: 38
    I guess as long as you don't go past your mantain calories you would be ok and wouldn't be going backwards but it seems like you probably went over that too. I just started this Friday so I am only almost to a full week and it has been hard and i have been hungry 1200 calories is soooo little. So far my strategy is to log it in as I go and even to plan ahead for the next day so that I am making tradeoffs. I have already seen it change my lunch I pack, the breakfast I eat and increase my exercise to make room for sushi. So I think that is working so maybe if you would have logged that treat stuff in at work and saw that impact before you ate dinner, maybe that would have helped you order something better? Worth a try. I know that I am new to counting calories and it will be tough, but I am happy how I am already making tradeoffs with what I am picking. Tonight I was dying for a glass of wine so I made room for it.

    You can do it! Tomorrow is a new day and you will do better.

    best of luck
  • piperjon
    piperjon Posts: 157 Member
    Exactly what Eliza and Istnlondry said. It does happen to the best of us, and I would daresay that it happens to most everyone here, at least occasionally. If it is happening several days in the month, or one day after another, or for several days on end, then no, that's not good. It's not what we do on one day that makes this thing work or not, but what we do daily.

    There are a people who are hurt and damaged, and overeat as a response. And those are people who may need to be encouraged and touched softly, and reminded that it's okay. There are also people who are overweight, FORMERLY hurt and damaged, and have come some distance in healing those hurts. They don't necessarily need that, they already have the healing, but they just might as well need it, too. Then there are just those who need the soft touch because they need it, no hurt or damage involved, and they just respond better to soft encouragement.

    There are some, though, that are like me, who need to be told "No, it's not okay. You screwed up, you jacked the day, you can't fix it, and today's done. Let it go. You can start fixing it tomorrow. Here, here's a carrot stick." But that's me. :-)

    It just all depends on the recipient. Always know your audience!
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Is it OK to make bad food choices for an entire day and end up way over your calories? Well, no, it's not OK, but you already know that.
    But, it's done. You can't change it, no matter what you do now you can't turn back the clock.
    The important thing now is how you deal with it.
    You could say "See, it just proves that I won't succeed at losing weight, why bother even trying, pass the jumbo pack of Double Coat Tim Tams".
    Alternatively, you could say "I made a series of spectacularly bad choices today, I am sure as hell not going to make that mistake tomorrow".
    Your choice!!
  • mzjandiace
    mzjandiace Posts: 162
    Hell no it's not okay because you know better.<--- (what I tell myself) You consciously knew you weren't suppose to eat that crap, but you did! So now what to do? Don't let one bad day turn into two! Bust you butt tomorrow, get back on track, one day at a time.
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
    I totally feel like crap when I go over. I always try to burn the calories over the next few days. This keeps it from become a routine of eating too much. Good luck to you.

    Do people really comment when your diary isn't under?

    Not rudely. They usually say something along the lines of "You'll do better tomorrow. Great job logging." They're all very supportive and none of them are mean about it.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Forget the emotions of guilt and focus on logic.

    What's your typical calorie deficit? If you're aiming to lose 2# a week, then you have a 1000 calorie deficit each day. If you're aiming to lose 1# a week, you have a 500 calorie deficit each day. If you're aiming for 2#, then you went over your maintenance calories by 500. For 1# a week, you went over maintenance by 1000. Either way, the absolute worst thing you might have done is postponed when you'll reach your goal weight by a day or two. You didn't undo any work you've done. You haven't failed. You haven't given up. You took a slight detour. That's it.
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
    Forget the emotions of guilt and focus on logic.

    What's your typical calorie deficit? If you're aiming to lose 2# a week, then you have a 1000 calorie deficit each day. If you're aiming to lose 1# a week, you have a 500 calorie deficit each day. If you're aiming for 2#, then you went over your maintenance calories by 500. For 1# a week, you went over maintenance by 1000. Either way, the absolute worst thing you might have done is postponed when you'll reach your goal weight by a day or two. You didn't undo any work you've done. You haven't failed. You haven't given up. You took a slight detour. That's it.

    Good point. :smile:
  • nmerley
    nmerley Posts: 98 Member
    This may come across as harsh or mean and I dont mean it but I also dont want to candy coat it. We have all been in that boat and if people would of been harsh with their comments to me maybe I wouldnt b on here tryin to lose weight, so my reply is: if u feel guilty make sure it doesnt happen next time. As a member of the red team I encourage u to try to do some type of exercise tonight. Yes 1500 cals is alot to b over. Yes its hard to find the energy to exercise after a crappy day. Yes we can make a 1000 excuses. Yes we can over come this horrible day as a team. Yes I have had days like this also. So do a few jumpin jacks, curse yourself out as your doin it, take a hot shower, and start new tomorrow!!!
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
    This may come across as harsh or mean and I dont mean it but I also dont want to candy coat it. We have all been in that boat and if people would of been harsh with their comments to me maybe I wouldnt b on here tryin to lose weight, so my reply is: if u feel guilty make sure it doesnt happen next time. As a member of the red team I encourage u to try to do some type of exercise tonight. Yes 1500 cals is alot to b over. Yes its hard to find the energy to exercise after a crappy day. Yes we can make a 1000 excuses. Yes we can over come this horrible day as a team. Yes I have had days like this also. So do a few jumpin jacks, curse yourself out as your doin it, take a hot shower, and start new tomorrow!!!

    Didn't come across as harsh at all, thank you. I appreciate your honesty and your input. :smile:

    I've decided my plan is this: I'm going to go to bed early tonight - over my calories and all - so that I will have enough rest to get up early in the morning and go on a nice long run before I have to go to work. When I get off work I'll do some strength training. Between the two I should burn enough calories to compensate for today's minor set back - and tomorrow I just won't eat back my exercise calories so that the 2 days are a wash.
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
    Actually just went back about a month and a half and since the tornado happened (I'm from Joplin...) I haven't had a weekly average more than 1,600/day net. The week right after the tornado was completely crazy so I have no idea what my net calories were that week. I'm feeling better seeing the overall affect, because I'm not doing too shabby for the most part.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Great! You have a solid plan to burn some extra cals tomorrow so it shouldn't derail your week.
    And it does help to put it into perspective, doesn't it, overall you sound like you're doing pretty well, now you need to work on some strategies so it doesn't happen again.
  • mbennion
    mbennion Posts: 7 Member
    If you get out there and exercise you'll go from feeling like you messed up to empowered because you can do something about it besides turn back time.
  • LauraMarie37
    LauraMarie37 Posts: 283 Member
    "pass the jumbo pack of Double Coat Tim Tams".

    Hahaha this made me laugh out loud! I assume that's a made-up food (or at least I haven't heard of it), but it does sound like the ultimate junk food!

    OP, I second what someone else said about guilt not really helping you lose weight, either. Yes, if you're making a habit of this, you may need some tough love. But you aren't. In your case, I think you need more regular love and less tough love. ESPECIALLY if you live in Joplin and are just one month out from a pretty dreadful, life-changing experience - then you need to be extremely proud of yourself for having the emotional resiliency that you have and don't waste time with negative thoughts about yourself like "it's really not OK."

    If you are smart and self-aware, you will know for yourself - even better than the numbers on your MFP log - when you cross the line from ok to not ok.
  • Athena413
    Athena413 Posts: 1,709 Member
    So if anyone is actually keeping up with this...I DID do an hour of treadmill intervals today, followed by 30 minutes of push-mowing, followed by an hour of P90X - Kenpo X. I more than took care of my bad day. :drinker:
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